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2/10/2018 c12 starboy454
excellent story so far
5/15/2017 c1 Guest
I hate the armor suit idea I don't know were it came from but I hate it . It's stupid and boring and way over the top. This is not iron man he is not a cyborg. suits of this typ have no business in rwby fanfiction in general unless it's very special cases and this is not one of them. What I saw of your writing was not bad I just hate the suit armor shit with a flaming passion
4/14/2017 c2 AngelFaux
This story looks awesome so far,the premise alone is cool ,one thing I didn't really care about was that most of the chapter was basically the same and while it's logical that nothing won't change yet,it felt a bit boring to read about episode than that this is great
11/28/2016 c2 Yami-Guy
To be completely honest I like the idea but I find the use of the masks or split personality bad writing to make up for a lack of a well thought out personality for Harry. I mean if it serves no purpose other than how Harry acts when he is only in the suit then it is simply a waste of potential. If outside the suit he is normal and no interaction between his other personalities or there was no trauma involved in developing the split personality other than using the suits then it serves no purpose except confusion because its certainly not there for drama.
9/5/2016 c12 3WhiteElfElder
There is way more cross-over going on than I initially expected, and no explanation has to how those others are showing up on Remnant.
9/4/2016 c7 WhiteElfElder
What I am really getting annoyed by are the mysterious groups that are getting the plans for Harry's tech with no indication of how in the first place.
9/4/2016 c5 WhiteElfElder
How are Harry's suit designs being stolen?
9/1/2016 c1 daniel 29
nice hodgepodge of crossovers thought the gundam named gundam is new
2/18/2016 c1 Guest
Seriously? Did you have to add gundam? Why not just make a harry potter fic and a gundam fic. Would have been a lot better. This just made me lose interest.
2/17/2016 c12 shugokage
Interesting chapter!
1/13/2016 c2 LuBu081
I found it pretty pointless to write almost the entire initiation of the canon crew when nothing changed. I understand you wanting to write it possibly for those who haven't see the web series and are in the dark, but I think that for someone to stumble upon this crossover choice, they'd have to have been aware of it. Just my thoughts on it.
Also, I find your use of measurements highly...'under' exaggerating. When you wrote earlier that Ruby was only a few meters from where Harry had do realize three feet equals 0.9 meters, right? She would have easily seen, heard and felt his crash. Next example is Harry not noticing a clearing on fire a few yards away yet he can see the red eyes of the grim around him. Again, it's your use of measurements that's really triggering me, like when someone uses centimeters when they meant to use inches, feet or meters when they meant to use a dozen feet or meters.
Besides those, I can really say much on this story since hardly anything has happened. You've tended to stick with the plot to the letter and only putting Harry in outside of the interactions of everyone else, or give him little moments of chat with some other person.
1/8/2016 c3 Wolf of the Grey
I'm starting to think that Harry is a masochist and gets horny when girls beat him up.

Not saying it's bad, just a strange character quirk. What I don't like is his reliance on his armor.

Note how NONE of the other characters in RWBY universe has such a big crutch to rely on. You're essentially saying Harry is so weak he needs armor instead of a weapon.

Not to mention he's still getting his ass beat in the armor. C'mon man, use your imagination! He could have literally any ability/weapon hearkening back to his own universe...but needs a babysitting sentient armor?

Why not give him the sword of griffindor? Having him use this to fight is like trying to use a finger to block the sun. Pointless.

So far you have...some character development, but you cut your own feet off by limiting a character with so much potential to be strong and cool. There is no hook to the story- I know you like Gundam and you like RWBY and you like Harry Potter.

That's cool, I like those things too. But stick to a setting, stick to a plot, and stick to a genre. Having futuristic robots in a scenario where people fight using their own bodies is counter-intuitive and makes me super annoyed. It's like if you went into the StarWars universe to fight Force users using a leather whip as a weapon. It's random, contrived, and doesn't really fit in with the universe at large.

It's your story and I won't tell you how to write it, but I personally don't find much to invest myself with in this story. I wish you the best in your writing!
1/7/2016 c11 Guest
Teach you something you can't prepare for.

That is a terribly obvious juxtaposition. If you cannot prepare for it, it can't be taught.
1/7/2016 c3 Akuma-Heika
Your summary needs some work since it sounds like a Harry Forgotten fic.

he was left with all of his stronger pieces, and only two pawns. Ozpin hadn't lost a single piece yet.
In chess, this is a near impossible set up.
1/3/2016 c5 26EternalKing
That's stupid. Harry straight up sajd that if they wanted to see his weapon than they would see it tomorrow yet you have yang act as if that never happened
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