for When Two Universes Collide9/8/2017 c1 dragon slayer of death 98
im sorry but dbz would destroy dxd character unless their top of the line like sirzech, serafall, grayfia, gabriel, michael, maybe vali, cao cao and loki and maybe sairog
im sorry but dbz would destroy dxd character unless their top of the line like sirzech, serafall, grayfia, gabriel, michael, maybe vali, cao cao and loki and maybe sairog
9/4/2017 c1 
77Reda
So whenever I review longfics, I like to write up responses in a separate notepad and then copy/paste them. So you get my reactions as I'm reading. Cause as a writer, I always think reader reactions are some of the funnest things. So here ya go, okay?
"Would the classes be hard? Would the kids be nice? Most importantly, would there be pretty girls?! He sure hoped so, especially the part about pretty girls." - LOL Goten. I like that you have this in here. Some people make him totally disinterested and I'm like nah, he'd totally be interested in girls.
First conversation with Goku, Chi and Goten. YEP. That's the character voices all right. Definitely hear them.
"And he said they were all hot too, which is even better" - LOL GOTEN
Of course Goten is liked by the girls. Of course.
Love at first sight, huh, Goten? She's from the other series, right?
"Except he still hated vegetables" - I loooove the idea of Goten having things he doesn't like to eat. Kairi and I always go with meatloaf for some reason but I just, love the idea of him being picky about SOMETHING ya know?
Oh gosh, how did she know about Goku and lol, catch on to the fact that Goten is related. Hm. AND APPARENTLY WANT HIM TO JOIN THE TEAM OK.
...I need to continue reading DxD dang it...
Chi-Chi being so over-dramatic about the girlfriend thing, hah.
This is fun, dude. Not gonna lie.
Have you edited it at all since you started? I see you started posting 3 years ago so I'm expecting it to just get better and better as it goes. 300k words might take me a bit though. That's longer than the book I'm reading right now! xD I'm surprised it's your first story, honestly. Better than my first, that's for sure.
77RedaSo whenever I review longfics, I like to write up responses in a separate notepad and then copy/paste them. So you get my reactions as I'm reading. Cause as a writer, I always think reader reactions are some of the funnest things. So here ya go, okay?
"Would the classes be hard? Would the kids be nice? Most importantly, would there be pretty girls?! He sure hoped so, especially the part about pretty girls." - LOL Goten. I like that you have this in here. Some people make him totally disinterested and I'm like nah, he'd totally be interested in girls.
First conversation with Goku, Chi and Goten. YEP. That's the character voices all right. Definitely hear them.
"And he said they were all hot too, which is even better" - LOL GOTEN
Of course Goten is liked by the girls. Of course.
Love at first sight, huh, Goten? She's from the other series, right?
"Except he still hated vegetables" - I loooove the idea of Goten having things he doesn't like to eat. Kairi and I always go with meatloaf for some reason but I just, love the idea of him being picky about SOMETHING ya know?
Oh gosh, how did she know about Goku and lol, catch on to the fact that Goten is related. Hm. AND APPARENTLY WANT HIM TO JOIN THE TEAM OK.
...I need to continue reading DxD dang it...
Chi-Chi being so over-dramatic about the girlfriend thing, hah.
This is fun, dude. Not gonna lie.
Have you edited it at all since you started? I see you started posting 3 years ago so I'm expecting it to just get better and better as it goes. 300k words might take me a bit though. That's longer than the book I'm reading right now! xD I'm surprised it's your first story, honestly. Better than my first, that's for sure.
9/4/2017 c30 13Akashic Vinyl
Interesting story I'm loving it so far. One thing though a mutation piece can turn anything into a devil. Surtr2 is physically pretty much the most powerful thing in the dxd world as far as I know and he turned with one mutation rook. Tannin too. So if Goten or Trunks decided to go devil it is doable. I'd love to see Xenobia get some Goten time lol.
13Akashic VinylInteresting story I'm loving it so far. One thing though a mutation piece can turn anything into a devil. Surtr2 is physically pretty much the most powerful thing in the dxd world as far as I know and he turned with one mutation rook. Tannin too. So if Goten or Trunks decided to go devil it is doable. I'd love to see Xenobia get some Goten time lol.
8/23/2017 c30 Guest
It's a good story. My only concern is the over saturation of flirting. Most of the chapter is just flirting and describing how good the person is looking. Tone that down a bit and it'll be perfect.
It's a good story. My only concern is the over saturation of flirting. Most of the chapter is just flirting and describing how good the person is looking. Tone that down a bit and it'll be perfect.
8/17/2017 c2 5Sntakawa Toki
yeah like if Tsubaki get's hurt or somethin'. he seems to care very much for her and so he needs a little Trigger. but I don't know if that would work, as SS3 was attained through training and not through emotions...But maybe he reveals the form after getting angry..*sigh* all in all, it's up to SuperKH
5Sntakawa Tokiyeah like if Tsubaki get's hurt or somethin'. he seems to care very much for her and so he needs a little Trigger. but I don't know if that would work, as SS3 was attained through training and not through emotions...But maybe he reveals the form after getting angry..*sigh* all in all, it's up to SuperKH
8/17/2017 c1 Dbziscool
This is just a suggestion but can you make Trunks ssj3 transformation have a reason to happen instead of just happening that would be great maybe with the heroic trunks theme or Hikari no willpower theme
This is just a suggestion but can you make Trunks ssj3 transformation have a reason to happen instead of just happening that would be great maybe with the heroic trunks theme or Hikari no willpower theme
8/16/2017 c30 2XxExtremeSamX
Will Gotenks show up soon? I can't wait to see Rias and the others' reaction to him.
2XxExtremeSamXWill Gotenks show up soon? I can't wait to see Rias and the others' reaction to him.