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3/14/2019 c6 Guest
Please update !
7/18/2015 c6 4Irish Fire Queen
oh my fucking god plz continue this , i love the way you have Hiccup doing things
11/8/2014 c6 9Midsully
You should keep going, is like to see what Hiccup does to drive Astrid to the point of wanting to have sex with him
10/18/2014 c6 7AleryaLeveilli
Please update soon! I like the interesting direction this is going! Good job, and keep going!
9/9/2014 c6 Guest
Please update soon ok
9/8/2014 c6 UnbreakableWarrior
Very good job with this chapter
9/7/2014 c6 InfinitiumAce
Ok i think i should say something by now. First of, your story is good. Good idea, twist in marriage... although it's a little short and too fast. Transition between certain emotions of each character tends to be off balanced. One moment she is desperate and crying and the next, moaning out of pleasure. Need better transition.

Next up, i realised you tend to be repetitive with the words like 'If only i realised' or something like that. Just wanting to clarify, do you intend to make it sound like a flashback? It sounds like it since Astrid and others are describing their lives in a past present tense sort of fashion. Like they are saying their past experiences to someone presently. Just wanting to know.

Another thing. I know you mentioned characters being OOC but bloody hell i didn't think you make Hiccup a complete sexually motivated guy with the kind of intentions of every regular Viking. I mean i understand that you're following the actual Viking lore and Hiccup, as a teenager where hormones are out of control (I would know cause I'm a teenager now and well, a guy) but you're kind of overdoing the sexual craze. Too much lust and wanting for sex. Unless you're not following the movie canon of Hiccup (and Astrid), be mindful of the characteristics and personality of the characters. Teenager as he is, Hiccup's sexual wants and needs are never that high and crazy. He would, from my knowledge, never force Astrid into a situation like that, especially in this AU where Hiccup is very much younger than Astrid, which is hard to believe. In case you don't know, Hiccup still cannot beat Astrid in the series in physical challenges, despite being months older than her. So your AU is slightly difficult to believe. Oh and Astrid. Since this just after the first movie, her Viking demeanor, personality and such had only decreased to a significant amount. Softer yes but not underestimated. If she can forced down Snotlout when he tries to flirt, why not Hiccup? She only knows him for a day. Cripple or not, Astrid could beat Hiccup in any situation being that she needs to. Hiccup's strength would developed too fast and his injury would halt him from moving much realistically speaking. And a friendly reminder that Hiccup was 14 when he trained a Night Fury and killed the Red Death. Unless it was your complete intention to make him 15.

Not gonna say anymore as it is quite tiring to review sometimes but i hope you find this feedback useful and sorry if anything i say had hurt your feelings.
9/7/2014 c6 2A Simple Cup
Haha you've written Hiccup similarly to how Nora Roberts writes Roarke.

Frustrated that this girl has so much power over him sexually and wanting her even when she says no. It's a good read. Can't wait for more.

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