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7/8/2020 c9 1aaronmag
Back for the final installment:

History is a series of events deemed significant enough to be remembered.

I like this! I liked the memory of Vlad of his ‘origin’ as well.

"Alright, settle down people," Mr. Lancer demanded of his students, of his Junior English class which was filled with many familiar faces.

I don’t think you need the comma after students

History is structured as Event A leads to Event B leading to Event C.

Hmmm...I am curious as to what Elle has planned.

But history is flawed in its record keeping.

I liked Danny’s origin story.

Danny didn't know those two too well but he was sure he didn't them around.

I think you are missing a ‘want’ here.

This is because history is written by the victor.

This is the origin story of an alternate universe Danny, right?

After swallowing the last bite of her firs apple, Dani asked,


Neil shrugged. "Mostly I just broke things that annoyed me." Such as the hateful Valerie that betrayed him. His worthless humanity that was too weak to protect those that matter most. And the countless humans and ghosts that stood in his way and kept stalling him from erasing every single trace of his past.

I see... it was Neil’s origin.

Time is perfect in its record keeping.

I liked that origin. Very sweet.

but now that traitorous no good cousin/clone/whatever apparently like[d] Danny too. Oh heck no!

I enjoyed all the bits and pieces. Not knowing the source material well I did get confused. Was it showing ways in which Danny avoided becoming his evil future self?
7/2/2020 c8 aaronmag
Back for more. Commenting as I go:

They'll feel more trusting towards Danny's ghost form then."


“ Kidding!" Elle quickly said. "He's just kidding - please don't say anything."

Ha ha!

Some of the reporters and civilians kept asking about stuff and taking pictures as the hunters and friends left the stage and eventually the area.

I liked the press conference.

...the same way he now hoped his shield didn't break and get turned into a full ghost.

Needs to be reworded. Makes it seem his shield is the one that would turn full ghost.

"Did I stutter?" Neil asked. "I said, get the hell out of my house!" he shouted.

Not a big fan of Neil. I do like his daughter though.

King Phantom smiled. That was the reasoning he gave to exlain his absences on other worlds as he stacked everything in his favor.


"I thought cryptic remarks wer[e] your shtick," Dan said.

And then it exploded in a green flash.

That is going to cost her...

Sam wrapped her left arm around Danny while Tucker wrapped his right arm. Then the best friends went on their way the best way they knew how.


Very heart warming. So this chapter establishes the new normal. I wonder what the next chapter holds.
6/30/2020 c7 aaronmag
Back for more. Commenting as I go:

The most haunted place on Earth. Despite this unofficial title, the town was usually a great place to calll home.


The citizens were in [a] slight panic, while strange events were frequent in the town, the loss of the mayor and vanishing act of the city's unofficial protectors had them all more than a little worried.

"What is going on here?" Maddie demanded. Her son had a history with these ghosts, no doubt about it; and from judging from the other teens' expression, they knew these ghosts too.

Cut the second or first ‘from’ in “from judging from”

Therew was no choice now, he had to tell them the truth, make them understand that he was to blame just as much if not more for keeping quiet.


Unfotunately for his target, he could see very far.


like silk wrapped around a knife.

Ooh, nice. I like Ember BTW. She is fun.

"If the enemy had showed up while we still had secrets," jazz spoke up with wide eyes, "they could have used them against us."


She walked in and grabbed him by the collar and dragged him to the computer for [the] closed portal.

"increase power output," Technus muttered.


Since I don’t know the characters I got confused a couple of times. But it was fun. I liked Ember’s internal dialogue.

It will be interesting to learn who the ‘enemy’ is.
6/17/2020 c6 aaronmag
I liked it and I don’t even know the characters. But the action is solid.

I am guessing Neil is a adult Danny from another dimension? Looks like he is planning replacing Danny either himself or with his adopted daughter?

Here I thought we were going to have an epic battle between Dante and Danny, but it went a different way I enjoyed.
6/16/2020 c5 aaronmag
"Come now Maddie, must we really play this game?" the copy said, halting his attacks.

I like these bits of dialogue. I don’t know the characters, but I will assume this is true to them.

Danielle used the Ghostly Wail.

Nice action and nice ending hook. Since I don’t know the show this means nothing to me, but I look forward to learning more about it.
6/14/2020 c4 aaronmag
It was dark. Very dark. Not the good kind like when he blacked out after winning the national fudge eating competition for the fifth time in a row and breaking his previous record by ten pounds. This was the bad kind of darkness. The kind that would swallow you whole and never let you see the light again.

Bwaahaa! Very funny and imaginative.

Jack stood in front of his wife. They weren't aiming at her directly, but he'll ensure her safety one way or another.

I think rather than ‘he’ll’ it should be ‘he’d’

Nice ending hook. I liked how Danny almost called her mom.
6/10/2020 c3 aaronmag
I meant to get back to your fic sooner! Commenting as I go.

Valerie wondered why Elle was doing here. why-what

The explosion tore off his right arm and slamming into the wall… slamming-slammed him

“Stop whinying,” -whining

“Wesker?” Jazz questioned. “As in CEO of Umbrella Corp…”

Ha ha! I got that reference. *looks around* I got that reference.

“I mean, What does he gain from helping you?” What-what

“Everything I needed to know.”

Nice ending hook.
6/3/2020 c2 aaronmag
“This blasted thing hasn’t worked since we built it.”

Ummm…someone needs to tell him that isn’t fixing it. That thing is in the R&D phase still.

Casper High? Ha ha!

He grinned at the halfa…

Ahh…I see. A halfa must be a half ghost?

Danny rub[bed] the back of his neck.

“Get to Fentonworks as soon as you can,” he said with a serious tone. “We have a problem.”

Oh snap! At first I thought Neil did that to Jazz…but now I’m guessing he found her like that and they are going to have to find who is responsible.
6/3/2020 c1 aaronmag
Okay I never saw Danny Phantom, but read the wiki. I did used to watch Odd Parents with my daughter. I will try and comment with my limited knowledge.

As she flew towards a nearby park, she looked at the citizens below, unaware of the halfa above them. She smiled at her heroics; it's been a long time since she was able to use her powers outside of training.

What is a ‘halfa’?

Elle's lip quivered. "B-b-b-but then why ask about my birthday?" Her voice was brittle and her eyes were on the verge of tears.

Aww man! Give the girl a party!

"Yes!" Elle beamed. But then she frown[ed] when she realized something. "But wait..." She stepped away from him. "What's Danny gonna think when he finds out about you?"

Slight typo.

But After a whole day of thinking about it, she accepted the offer and despite the rocky start, neither of them has yet to regret it.

After-after has-had

"Yes, yes it would," he replied with a smirk. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have business to take care of."

Ha ha! I like this guy.

Okay. Can I ask a favor? Since I don’t know the material can you let me know who are the OCs if any?

Good start so far.
4/21/2017 c9 Vin
I have several comments: first of all, this is a very interesting story; second, Dan REALLY needed that ego check last chapter, I hate his arrogance; third, I support DannyxSam, but if he gets an harem I don't mind at all (it may even be better).
Maybe Tucker can hook up with Jazz, I like them together.
See you soon.
9/22/2016 c6 Krusher
Yeah... Done with this fic.
9/22/2016 c1 Krusher
Danny most likely let Danielle go and fend for herself because it wouldn't be safe for her to stay with Danny with Vlad hunting her. Vlad would know exactly where to find her.
11/12/2015 c3 ITookGenetics
Twice removed refers to generation. Danielle would be their grand parent's, sibling's, daughter if she was their cousin twice removed, because she would be two generations removed from Danny and Jazz.
7/15/2015 c1 i know you
This is gonna be interesting
7/3/2015 c7 Guest
so vlad is dead huh.
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