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12/31/2017 c1 2Shadowstouch
It was great to find out a bit more about Eragon’s past and how far he has come already in Poison (that last part where he sees Murtagh for the first time was very enlightening as well, giving a hint at Eragon’s thoughts of him in later interactions). I’m a bit sorry that I haven’t read this until now, but I’m glad I have now at least.

Anyway, thank you for this great piece! (I won’t say anything else since I’ve already written like three or more comments today).
11/13/2015 c1 25Salivour
Hi,
I've been thoroughly enjoying your work for a while, so looking forward to reading this one! I have read Poison, though it's been a fair while, so this will be largely reviewed as though I haven't.

(...by trapping some material under his thumb, made sure they stayed there.) This was quite a subtle opening, but this seemed to allude at Eragon not wanting Angela to see his knuckles, possibly foreshadowing an injury. I did enjoy your opening as Eragon's character came across quite well, him avoiding Angela's question and his discomfort. It was great to have the situation presented but not completely spelled out.

The description of the house, on one hand came across quite flat, as for me the description could have applied to any house and didn't really convey a setting for the story to take place that I could picture. On the other hand, the detached narrative is in keeping with Eragon's state of mind, and there were hints of character, such as him not painting his room.

Your sentences read as quite short, almost fragments without anything extra. (Eragon kept to himself. She had always been very outgoing.) This, rather than longer sentences, seemed to help in conveying detachment, and Eragon not saying more than he needs to, conveying his disinterest.

(Eragon wasn't supposed to notice guys.) I'm guessing from Poision (from memory!) that this refers to Eragon being gay, but it also seemed to allude at him receiving backlash from that before, hence his aversion to even make friends with another guy.

I thought the way you brought in the theme of suicide was great, especially as it had already been set up through Eragon's characterisation. (...out of his open door...She slept with the door open voluntarily.) without having it explicitly said, this seemed to convey that Eragon is forced to keep his door open, so Saphira and Brom and see him and get to him if needed. Whether or not he has attempted suicide before was quite clear, but it seemed that he had.

Aksel, because I'm reading the story from Eragons' perspective, I didn't really like him. He comes across as very socialable and happy, but at the same time, completely oblivious to Eragon and how he's feeling, particular him touching Eragon. That in particular, on one hand seemed to be Eragon just not wanting people around and on the other hand, especially with the following conversation with Angela, seemed to be more about it being another male touching him. I did think that Eragon liking Aksel didn't quite come across, as he seemed to be more uncomfortable, than liking Aksel and denying himself.

I particularly enjoyed here the way you wrote Eragon's character - he has depression without that ever being stated directly. His lack of motivation, withdrawal from being social. I also particularly liked that Eragon didn't just get better, but also worse, which was shown especially in him not speaking at all in Angela's sessions, instead of continuing to make small progresses.

(Saphira was crying when she came into his room one day..."Please don't,") How Saphira has been feeling has been largely in the background, and while I can deduce that she's sad and worried, that's often been through what would be normal given her relationship to Eragon and her saying that she's worried. I liked this in that it gave a tiny bit more for her character, and she comes across as a little desperate here, which, given the situation, is understandable. Eragon in the next scene with Arya and Aksel, seems to be just trying to keep Saphira happy, rather than himself.

(The three years of junior high passed by...) I wasn't sure of this large time-skip. On one hand, you have to bring the story to where it can act as a prequel to Poison though it does show how little progress Eragon is making, even such small steps, but it did feel quite sudden to just leap ahead, but I'm not sure how else it could have been done!

(Eragon hated himself.) This was particularly potent after Eragon painting his room in the last scene, and him seeming to make a big step forwards in recovering.

(It was almost like Aksel was forcing it...prayed Saphira would notice soon.) Aksel mirroring (possibly) what Eragon's gone through, and the impact your portrayal of Eragon noticing but not being able to say anything was great. It came across as reinforcing for Eragon what he believes about being homosexual but it also seemed to give him someone who he might be able to talk to about how he's feeling.

(That was where had taken his father's razor...) Showing here, finally what exactly occured to Eragon, especially after so long and particularly him telling his friends, was fantastic to see him making so much progress, although it was great to see it portrayed not as an instant fix, but rather a single step.

The last few scenes, Eragon's trip, him telling Brom and Saphira that he is gay and opening himself up to being in a relationship, these progresses seemed to come quite quickly, but it didn't seem so fast as to be unnatural. I especially liked you introducing Murtagh at the end, well, I'm assuming that's him! It was a nice way to lead into Poison, and this gives a fantastic perspective into Eragon's character for that.

I really enjoyed this. Although the pacing could have been smoother in places, you did a fantastic job in your characterisation of Eragon and tracking his progress in a way that felt very natural and real.

Good job!

SPAG:

(If looked out of his open door...) If he looked...
9/27/2014 c1 medward
Happy Birthday Sussie K! Thanks for the story!
9/25/2014 c1 tfranzen96
Nice story, and happy birthday.
9/24/2014 c1 14nikkiliz713
Wow. Wow wow wow wow wow. I have so missed your writing! I don't even read fic for this fandom anymore, but I will always ALWAYS read your stuff. I am so blown away by this that I honestly don't know what to say. Everything about it just felt so incredibly authentic and god my heart was breaking for Eragon right from the start. Seriously, I wish I had more to say but I'm just so in awe of this beautiful story. I love it!

-Nikki
9/24/2014 c1 55Kiheada.Ray.T
Yayyyyy! I'm so glad you posted this, I felt like it was MY birthday! I always love your stories, and it's been so long since I've read anything Inheritance-related. Plus, Poison is awesome so I really enjoyed reading this!

I love how you handle Eragon's therapy and trauma. It wasn't obvious at first, I mean I got that he was troubled and his mom died, but your subtle hints and growing detail felt like the story blossomed. I also like how you deal with his behavior and reactions, as well as thought process. It felt very realistic and raw, in a good way. So kudos!

Can't wait to see more! I've missed your writing so much XD Maybe I need to re-read some things

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