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for Harry Potter and the Sith Lord

10/2/2014 c3 13Faykan
Excellently worded, a few typos, but nothing to halt the flow of the narrative. Might have been a bit expanded in places (McGonagall's time in the Sith's base, Exploring Diagon, etc.) but still works. I figure you intend to spend much more time in Hogwarts itself, which would coincide with condensing the time before the sorting.

Overall, well done, look forward to the next one.

9/26/2014 c1 Faykan
Ah, a refreshing breath of Sith Harry. So good to see another author writing along this line, it is sadly very under played to its fullest extent.

My only suggestion at this point would be to refrain from labeling Force based skills as "Force *Blank*" It always seems very out of place in a story format and detracts somewhat from immersion. Just describe the ability's effects and let the reader imagination infer what they will.

Otherwise, excellent start, and I look forward to seeing more along these lines.


(If you wish to discuss Sith related concepts, I am writing a very similar story, but set in a different time period of SW, and would be more than willing to bounce ideas back and forth)
9/25/2014 c2 6Dees321
I'll take your idea into consideration, Blorg13. But before we can have any of that I would have Harry completing year 1 and helping Revan take over Earth. Then he might realize his mistake and turn to the light and help the Jedi. But these are just ideas...nothing concrete yet.
9/25/2014 c2 Blorg13
Kinda hoping Harry would have nothing to do with the whole wizard side of things and that he was more of a Grey Jedi and he is captured by the Jedi but instead of being completely wiped he offers his servivces and brings down the Revan's Empire.
9/25/2014 c1 Dees321
Thanks everyone, chapter 1 has been edited.
9/25/2014 c2 almightyironman
Sorry ignore my previous review I hadnt refreshed the page.
9/25/2014 c1 almightyironman
Good story. You restart chapter 1 after the first couple paragraphs. Just letting you know.
9/25/2014 c1 Black Dahaka
A good start to what will hopefully be a good story, however you might want to reedit the chapter as it restarts part way through.
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