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for Nephilim plus snowgirl

9/29/2014 c1 BPDIDANOCSMOM
Mika, well you really wracked your brain coming up with that name didn't you? Although I'll give you credit for coming up with something different instead of the same old canon copy and paste most of you OC authors do.

Sadly, that's the only positive I see with the chapter. The writing is clumpy with more than one conversation in various paragraphs. Grammar mistakes are just about as random throughout.

The impending Mary Sue OC is also a checkmark against you. Added with the future carpet munching lesbo paring you're going to force together.

I like your change of venue and creativity, but that's crushed to death with the Mary Sue OC and yuri pairing.
9/29/2014 c1 Devon the Shipper
Every time I see another of these horrible self-indulgent Mary-Sue fics in this fandom, another part of me dies inside.

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