for The Third Pedrad7/28/2018 c39 TheaLaurel
Wow, this was a very beautiful chapter. I admit I had my doubts when I began the story but as I got into it I fell completely and utterly in love with the story. You have the impeccable talent of hooking a reader on with only one chapter, expressing the charecter’s feelings perfectly, making all of us (the readers) experience every single feeling & emotion. I loved this story, it has excellent details and well-thought out scenes. Your writing style is very distinct and very good, you have the potential to become an excellent author. Well done.
Wow, this was a very beautiful chapter. I admit I had my doubts when I began the story but as I got into it I fell completely and utterly in love with the story. You have the impeccable talent of hooking a reader on with only one chapter, expressing the charecter’s feelings perfectly, making all of us (the readers) experience every single feeling & emotion. I loved this story, it has excellent details and well-thought out scenes. Your writing style is very distinct and very good, you have the potential to become an excellent author. Well done.
7/21/2018 c39 
1Forever and always chapter 5
THIS STORY WAS AMAZING! Like the kind of amazing that needs a sequel
1Forever and always chapter 5THIS STORY WAS AMAZING! Like the kind of amazing that needs a sequel
6/28/2018 c39 868967484848
This story was fantastic! I must say that when I read the summary and saw that Tris and Uriah were twins, I thought they were blood relations (something I wasn't sure if I'd like), so I was really glad when you still made her canon family be her true family (Natalie, Andrew and Caleb). Though I don't think Caleb qualifies as a suitable brother... I hated him here even more than in the books because at least in the books he cared a little for his sister, he just prioritised other things above Tris. Then again he didn't know her very well in this fic... but it's still no excuse for the way he treated her and her family. I guess it's a good sign that you managed to stir up all these emotions!
I also like how you made Eric just a little softer than in the books, while still retaining all of his bad traits. It was interesting how Tris dated Peter before initiation, and you could see that his antagonism towards her was more personal in this fanfic. And as for Zeke and Uriah, it was clear that they loved their 'sister', and I really like how you portrayed that. I loved the idea of Twin Time - it was really cute!
And of course, good job on writing the relationship between Tris and Tobias! It felt real because while it progressed slowly just like in the books, there were still lots of twists that kept me captivated til the very end.
Finally, I loved the inclusion of different POVs. Amar and Zeke aren't the most obvious choices which made this story all the more unusual. I really liked seeing their perspective on events. Also Zeke's protective big brother personality was well written.
To summarise it all, this was very enjoyable to read and thank you for writing this! Loved the epilogue too, by the way!
868967484848This story was fantastic! I must say that when I read the summary and saw that Tris and Uriah were twins, I thought they were blood relations (something I wasn't sure if I'd like), so I was really glad when you still made her canon family be her true family (Natalie, Andrew and Caleb). Though I don't think Caleb qualifies as a suitable brother... I hated him here even more than in the books because at least in the books he cared a little for his sister, he just prioritised other things above Tris. Then again he didn't know her very well in this fic... but it's still no excuse for the way he treated her and her family. I guess it's a good sign that you managed to stir up all these emotions!
I also like how you made Eric just a little softer than in the books, while still retaining all of his bad traits. It was interesting how Tris dated Peter before initiation, and you could see that his antagonism towards her was more personal in this fanfic. And as for Zeke and Uriah, it was clear that they loved their 'sister', and I really like how you portrayed that. I loved the idea of Twin Time - it was really cute!
And of course, good job on writing the relationship between Tris and Tobias! It felt real because while it progressed slowly just like in the books, there were still lots of twists that kept me captivated til the very end.
Finally, I loved the inclusion of different POVs. Amar and Zeke aren't the most obvious choices which made this story all the more unusual. I really liked seeing their perspective on events. Also Zeke's protective big brother personality was well written.
To summarise it all, this was very enjoyable to read and thank you for writing this! Loved the epilogue too, by the way!
6/22/2018 c39 APfire17
I really hope there will be a sequel. Fantastic writing, i loved the whole story. Keep up the good work !
I really hope there will be a sequel. Fantastic writing, i loved the whole story. Keep up the good work !
4/30/2018 c39 AnjiMonkey
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I WANT TO CRY
THIS IS SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO AMAZING and i really want a sequel but if you're not doing it its okay! I loved Uri and Tris' bond- so beautiful! I laughed everytime Twin Time came up!
Please keep writing! You have a gift and I'm so happy I found this story! I love this so much!
Good luck! I'll be sure to check out you're other stories!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I WANT TO CRY
THIS IS SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO AMAZING and i really want a sequel but if you're not doing it its okay! I loved Uri and Tris' bond- so beautiful! I laughed everytime Twin Time came up!
Please keep writing! You have a gift and I'm so happy I found this story! I love this so much!
Good luck! I'll be sure to check out you're other stories!
1/4/2018 c39 hungergamesluver3
Great story, oml! I too found Amar interesting and was excited to see how you developed him in your story!
Great story, oml! I too found Amar interesting and was excited to see how you developed him in your story!
12/29/2017 c22 Guest
Oml your stories are so amazing! They make me think this is a divergent book and your voranica Ross! Keep something Gn what your doing!
Oml your stories are so amazing! They make me think this is a divergent book and your voranica Ross! Keep something Gn what your doing!