for Cycling on Repeats3/15/2016 c1 
7SakuraLuck
Wait so- did she ever travel? The world and such? Maybe go to space? Learn politics? Go to the mafia world? I mean, she's had 15 lives, she's bound to have met Reborn (or some other mafia) somewhere...?
PLEASE UPDATE SOOOn!
7SakuraLuckWait so- did she ever travel? The world and such? Maybe go to space? Learn politics? Go to the mafia world? I mean, she's had 15 lives, she's bound to have met Reborn (or some other mafia) somewhere...?
PLEASE UPDATE SOOOn!
10/11/2014 c1 Not-Gonna-Update
Mm... it's cute that Haru adores her older sister and it's sweet that Hisako cares for her and their mom.
So far, this fanfic has been really fun to read. I like it.
Mm... it's cute that Haru adores her older sister and it's sweet that Hisako cares for her and their mom.
So far, this fanfic has been really fun to read. I like it.
10/7/2014 c1 Guest
Big problem I see here. Ever hear of 'show, don't tell?' There's a lot of 'telling' going on here, especially in the intro of the story. Having an OC as Haru's sister is an interesting concept though, so there's definitely potential here.
... And this being reborn multiple times thing. It doesn't look like it's had that much of an effect on Hisako, which is unrealistic. And no offense or anything, but the die-and-be-reborn-in-a-loop thing kind of seems copied from Singular Poisonous Ashes' "Fifth time's the charm" or XxZuiliu's "Onwards Till Dawn." Not trying to accuse you of anything here, if you came up with the idea on your own. Just making an observation here.
Well, good luck continuing the story...?
Big problem I see here. Ever hear of 'show, don't tell?' There's a lot of 'telling' going on here, especially in the intro of the story. Having an OC as Haru's sister is an interesting concept though, so there's definitely potential here.
... And this being reborn multiple times thing. It doesn't look like it's had that much of an effect on Hisako, which is unrealistic. And no offense or anything, but the die-and-be-reborn-in-a-loop thing kind of seems copied from Singular Poisonous Ashes' "Fifth time's the charm" or XxZuiliu's "Onwards Till Dawn." Not trying to accuse you of anything here, if you came up with the idea on your own. Just making an observation here.
Well, good luck continuing the story...?