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for The Journey of a Betrayed Master Book 1: The Master's Tournament

3/30 c2 Secrets
To the person who called all critics a cock sucking hater, WTF? It's okay to dislike and critique a story. Flames aren't good but some people just genuinely don't like it and want to share how to improve it, no need to be rude. I personally am one of those people. I think the story seems too unrealistic, OC, and unimaginative. I also am not a huge fan of Paul being all goody goody, because honestly, that's not who he is, also too OC. Then there are the actual OC's. I just don't like OC's in general. And I don't like that Delia was killed, just for the drama it feels. It's not terrible, just, in my opinion, not very good.
2/7 c3 Guest
You should Ash did Hatch a Riolu from an Egg in the Pokémon 2019 series. It eventually evolved into a Lucario
12/28/2020 c9 obanaanthony7
Iris thinking about shit
12/28/2020 c2 obanaanthony7
Why is it ash always bumps into max?
9/10/2020 c2 LegendaryMob
9/13/2019 c15 Toby Hark
I loved the plot twists... Please continue the story... You are an amazing writer!
8/14/2019 c5 6Deltared52952
the detail are confusing
5/1/2019 c2 Guest
Wtf are these nicknames? Did a 7 year old name them?
5/1/2019 c1 Guest
Are you gonna at least try to make this realistic? Cuz this chapter was horrible
2/28/2019 c3 19Frostbreaker
Story is pretty good so far, but the giant blocks of text are distracting. Separate dialogue and break up "action sequences" into smaller parts; each character's dialogue should be separated from the rest, so a reader can be sure who's talking.
9/8/2018 c6 1 Delphox lover
I meant fucking dickwads
9/8/2018 c6 1 Delphox lover
And I'd just like to add, if you have the balls to hate on a good story then I'd like to see YOU write one and see how bad it feels to have YOUR story hated on you fuck dickwads. #1 Delphox lover out
9/8/2018 c5 1 Delphox lover
Bro I love this story so far, and to all the cock sucking haters, go do what you do best, oh wait that's right your so stupid you don't know a good story when your fucking reading it, so I'll just say it, go suck some fucking dick before getting it shoved up your ass you anal and oral lovers, this is a great story and it has no grammar problems or spelling mistakes compared to other stories I've read, and I've read a LOT. #1 Delphox lover out
8/12/2018 c5 TechnoGalen
You're an idiot and this crap stain needs to stay dead.
4/10/2018 c1 kynan99
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