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for The Journey of a Betrayed Master Book 1: The Master's Tournament

10/22/2014 c2 Red Alfa
Sweet nice chapter good to see Ash managed to keep some of his original Pokemon btw how did the other Pokemon that Ash released fimd out bout the betrayal? Oh man cant wait for the next chap keep up with the good work by the way
10/22/2014 c2 1Ruby097
good chapter. Can't wait for next chapter. Hope you update soon.
10/22/2014 c2 ThirteenMoney
Woops, look like I waited too long, was going to make an OC right about this time. All well.

Anyway, can't wait for the next chapter!
10/20/2014 c1 c man
Also what about roxie and anabel for another pairing for ash
10/20/2014 c1 c man
How about phobe of the elite four for the hoenn pairing
10/22/2014 c2 2Arctic Fox72
*Chuckles* Going by a thing I just noticed, Winter and Frost are going to murder him when he let's them out for keeping them in their balls. He normally keeps them out xD Also noticed I didn't get the typo fix out quick enough. There was a typo in the description of Arctic. His hair only covers his right eye. Not left right. I didn't press the backspace when I changed my mind describing him.
10/22/2014 c2 9Legendary Fairy
Hi, nice to see you updated.

The chapter is nice and it's good that some of Ash's Pokemon are with him. But I have a question...how did the Pokemon Ash free or left to training, not counting of course Pidgeot, know what happened? Also hem...I know that the traitors have surely taken the others but what exactly happened?

Apart these two questions, nice chapter can't wait for more.

By the way...there are some errors but since it's late for ya (Here in Italy is 8 and 30 PM) It's okay.
10/20/2014 c1 Guest
Huh... This is a carbon copy of the last story.
10/22/2014 c2 14nicranger
Glad you accepted my OC man
10/21/2014 c1 4Nintendoes Gamer
Mmmm interesting cliché beginning but that's how all these betrayal fics start can't wait for more and see your own ideas
10/21/2014 c1 The-Immortal-Guard
I think you should add pidgeot, bayleef, noctowl, and snivy those are some rare shippings.
10/21/2014 c1 6Solomon07
Interesting start so far, a tad different from all the other betrayal stories I've read, but one problem I see is that you bundled up the words into large paragraphs. Make a new one each time you change to a different character view or speech, and it'll be a tad more easier to read and make sense of.
10/20/2014 c1 Legendary Cryptid
WHYYYYYY?! You were doing so well! Then Delia dies off-screen from an explosion?! Why can't she be spared?!

Lab Rats Future Leo: You better fix this!

Anyway great story.

Vinny: 9/10. One point missing cause they didn't blow me, and they killed Delia.
10/20/2014 c1 Red Alfa
Oho i really like the first chap and its an oc story too, and paul ash friend even beter. I'll send in an oc too
10/20/2014 c1 5The Man Known as nWore
A good start to the story and good choices for the harem. I only ask that you give Latias and Arceus human forms. Anyway, here's my OC. I won't list any moves so you can customize them.
Name: Mike Shamrock
Sex: Male
Age: 21
Personality: A smart ass at times, but otherwise calm, cool and loyal
Appearance: Brunette with red eyes
Clothes: Black shirt, red vest, blue pants and red and black shoes.
Pokemon: Infernape(his starter)
Hitmonlee(Caught when it was a Tyrouge, abandoned by it's previous trainer.)
Lucario(Caught during Mike journey through Sinnoh when it was a Riolu. Able to Mega Evolve)
Houndoom(Mike saved him when he found on the side of a path nearly dead from dehydration. Able to Mega Evolve
Rhyperior(Caught as a Rhyhorn in Kanto.)
Flygon: Mike received an egg from some folks during his Hoenn journey which hatched into Trapinch. This is Mike's strongest Pokemon)
Also, I know you didn't ask for it, but Mike's hometown is Celestic Town. Do with that whatever you wish
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