for Tracy Island Sniffles
410/20/2014 c1 Trillianaus
Technical comment. Blocks of text a a chore to read. Each person's speech should be on a new line and indented. New speaker, new paragraph
Eg Jeff and Onaha's conversation...see Onaha at thr stove.
"Morning, Onaha,. What's for breakfast? "
Onaha turned to see Jeff sitting at the table.
"Good Morning...".
Jeff nodded and went to the coffee pot.
This breaks up the slabs of text and makes " conversations" between characters clearer.
YMMV
Technical comment. Blocks of text a a chore to read. Each person's speech should be on a new line and indented. New speaker, new paragraph
Eg Jeff and Onaha's conversation...see Onaha at thr stove.
"Morning, Onaha,. What's for breakfast? "
Onaha turned to see Jeff sitting at the table.
"Good Morning...".
Jeff nodded and went to the coffee pot.
This breaks up the slabs of text and makes " conversations" between characters clearer.
YMMV
10/20/2014 c1 gknlfkglsdfgofigjdfgkfsdjghdfs
Not a bad story, just be careful with the formatting (according to the mobile version you put no sourcing in it at all)
Good job :)
Not a bad story, just be careful with the formatting (according to the mobile version you put no sourcing in it at all)
Good job :)