FanFiction.Net
Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Purgatory

1/16/2021 c30 Guest
Well that was horrible place for this to stop.
1/6/2021 c30 cyanwizard
hey man is there a sequel to this or are ya just bored and stopped updating
1/5/2021 c27 1anaklumos28
I like how you created a descriptive battle between Thalia and Percy to show Thalia her place a little bit, but I felt like you could have shortened the battle and focused more on building the relationship for multi?

The story sometimes feels like it might never end if I didn't know the fact that there were only 30 chapters in this book :P
1/5/2021 c26 anaklumos28
I am excited to see Percy going back to the camp - I feel like we haven't seen much of his interaction with camp demigods without trying to kill them. I also wish you would make the pairing more obvious - I don't think just having Thalia's eyes sparkle in a conversation is enough to evolve a relationship in a decent number of chapters.
1/5/2021 c25 anaklumos28
I think one of the strengths of your story is the added details you add that make us imagine the story better - for example after Aphrodite locks herself in her house, you added the little tidbit about how Ares took her being closed off to him badly and had a fight with some buddy and how Purge was so crazy that he wondered if hellhounds had gender when going to kill one.

One thing that confuses me about Artemis's interaction with Aphrodite is that her emotions were unbalanced *because* of Aphrodite's actions (since Artemis was kinda jelly that someone else got to see Percy nakey before she did?) Then why was it an "external force" that caused her instability? It seems like Aphrodite was responsible for what happened to Percy, no? Although I do think Percy would do better to not sit naked in a clear river, haha!

I am excited to see who you end up pairing Percy with. I would like multi because I don't want Percy to break Thalia's or Artemis's heart (or even Zoe's?)
1/4/2021 c24 anaklumos28
Very interesting - a whole chapter about Aphrodite's daughters watching Percy haha! I think this was the steamiest this story has been ;) As weird as I might seem - can we get Aphrodite back without genital nudity? Also, I would actually like Percy Thalia - she always feels so romantically alone :(
1/4/2021 c23 anaklumos28
I wish you at least let Percy and Artemis come to a draw - that way the hunters would respect both of them equally.

I think it is very interesting that the girls still follow his advice afterward and that he has kind of put aside his nightmare since discussing it with Artemis!
1/4/2021 c22 anaklumos28
I kind of like the fight between Poseidon and Percy and I think I agree that it would have been a bit too weird if Poseidon died at Percy's hands. The Greek gods are too central to the story to die, I think.

But I don't see why Percy can't just make good with Artemis and all the homies at camp and just tell them his nightmare? I think it could be a good bonding interaction when he discusses his deepest fear and they tell him they believe in him and he would never do anything like that.

I don't think this chapter really accomplished anything, however.
1/4/2021 c21 anaklumos28
I am so glad that the triplets are in the story again! It would have been really cool if Percy was able to interact with Anna and provide her a sense of security.

Also, Percy's nightmare was quite dark; did you plan this ahead of time? I hope Percy talks to Artemis/one of the hunters about it so that he can get some emotional release.

I really like that Percy meditates so much - he is a good role model in that aspect (not in every aspect as he basically follows a crazy person in his head sometimes).
1/4/2021 c20 anaklumos28
I love the vivid description of the battle you painted - starting with the clearsighted (?) mortal, going to the fire soldiers, and eventually ending with Percy against 4 gods. I wish you had explained, at least to the reader, what Percy saw that made him weak and more about how he was able to come out of his rut when Daimos came and tried to attack him.

I still don't feel like Percy has a pairing with anyone in this story; he is close with Thalia (maybe she gets a little touchy with him), Artemis respects and even get protective of him with Aphrodite, and Bianca looks at him (a lot?). Do you just want Percy to be someone who is impossible to get?

I would love to see more of him at Camp Half-Blood and how he interacts with the other normal campers there.

Your imagery is really good and I think if you utilized it with a plot that has a carrying purpose through the chapters, it would be even better.
1/4/2021 c19 anaklumos28
That event at the house was so dark and unexpected - the hellhound killed both of the people who were related to Percy right after he visited them. Your story is definitely something that keeps me on edge; although I think it needs to mellow down a bit more.

The interaction between Diana and Artemis is a bit wacky though but I was thinking it would be interesting if the main and alter aspects of Percy and Artemis fell in love with each other?!
1/4/2021 c18 anaklumos28
I really enjoyed how much thought you put into the "prank" by Apollo and Hermes and how they tried to avoid getting hurt by Artemis.

I really think it would be interesting to see some interaction between Aphrodite and Percy, even if it is not sexual. I think it would have been more interesting if Percy was angry at Artemis and decided to meet up with Aphrodite and started getting to know her and get close (emotionally) to her. And after this, Artemis comes in and Percy has to choose between which of them he wants to go with. I thought Apollo's triplets were in the camp, except for after Poryphrion's attack?

I also am excited by Mercury coming in at the end with a girl; although I hope this adds to the main plot than just being another subplot.
1/4/2021 c17 anaklumos28
This chapter was great! Not too much violence - just Percy calming down and Artemis asking for forgiveness. You have a very interesting way of writing - you don't give the readers any easy points - for example, when Artemis asked Percy for forgiveness, Percy could have just said "yeah I forgive you no problemo" and Artemis could have been like "uwu such a nice boy. i like him" But you added a bit of nuance in saying that Percy only said that he was capable of forgiving her and that Percy had another offer.

I think if you had a chapter like this in between two different rising actions, the story would read better.
1/4/2021 c16 anaklumos28
When I first read this chapter, I thought it would have been a great moment for Percy to comfort Jessica and for Percy and Artemis to be all buddy-buddy afterward. I think your method was slightly better in adding more tension to the plot, but you kind of need some falling action after each piece of rising action.

For example, "a lot of the hunters were killed" - rising action, "Percy severely hurts people who were cruel to him" - rising action, "Percy is killing the giant dude" - rising action. You need to have a couple of moments of peace in order for the "problems" to have more value; otherwise, it sounds like a story about problems and not a story about Percy's journey. So if you could add a bit about just how the campers and Percy get along for a little bit before starting the next problem, that would be a great start, I think.

As always, the interaction between Purge and Percy is really interesting and more thought out than I initially thought. I find it kind of interesting that Percy commented on the fact that he kept saying the weapon's name, haha! It reminds me of Bleach where I think the people say their attacks' name when they use it.
12/31/2020 c15 anaklumos28
For your lack of a plot, the changes in character dynamics kind of make up for it ;) I also like Pertemis but you make it so hard for a reader to know anyone's growing feelings towards each other. Please make up your mind soon :)
1,448 « Prev Page 1 .. 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 15 .. Last Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service