for Purgatory1/4/2021 c19 
1anaklumos28
That event at the house was so dark and unexpected - the hellhound killed both of the people who were related to Percy right after he visited them. Your story is definitely something that keeps me on edge; although I think it needs to mellow down a bit more.
The interaction between Diana and Artemis is a bit wacky though but I was thinking it would be interesting if the main and alter aspects of Percy and Artemis fell in love with each other?!
1anaklumos28That event at the house was so dark and unexpected - the hellhound killed both of the people who were related to Percy right after he visited them. Your story is definitely something that keeps me on edge; although I think it needs to mellow down a bit more.
The interaction between Diana and Artemis is a bit wacky though but I was thinking it would be interesting if the main and alter aspects of Percy and Artemis fell in love with each other?!
1/4/2021 c18 anaklumos28
I really enjoyed how much thought you put into the "prank" by Apollo and Hermes and how they tried to avoid getting hurt by Artemis.
I really think it would be interesting to see some interaction between Aphrodite and Percy, even if it is not sexual. I think it would have been more interesting if Percy was angry at Artemis and decided to meet up with Aphrodite and started getting to know her and get close (emotionally) to her. And after this, Artemis comes in and Percy has to choose between which of them he wants to go with. I thought Apollo's triplets were in the camp, except for after Poryphrion's attack?
I also am excited by Mercury coming in at the end with a girl; although I hope this adds to the main plot than just being another subplot.
I really enjoyed how much thought you put into the "prank" by Apollo and Hermes and how they tried to avoid getting hurt by Artemis.
I really think it would be interesting to see some interaction between Aphrodite and Percy, even if it is not sexual. I think it would have been more interesting if Percy was angry at Artemis and decided to meet up with Aphrodite and started getting to know her and get close (emotionally) to her. And after this, Artemis comes in and Percy has to choose between which of them he wants to go with. I thought Apollo's triplets were in the camp, except for after Poryphrion's attack?
I also am excited by Mercury coming in at the end with a girl; although I hope this adds to the main plot than just being another subplot.
1/4/2021 c17 anaklumos28
This chapter was great! Not too much violence - just Percy calming down and Artemis asking for forgiveness. You have a very interesting way of writing - you don't give the readers any easy points - for example, when Artemis asked Percy for forgiveness, Percy could have just said "yeah I forgive you no problemo" and Artemis could have been like "uwu such a nice boy. i like him" But you added a bit of nuance in saying that Percy only said that he was capable of forgiving her and that Percy had another offer.
I think if you had a chapter like this in between two different rising actions, the story would read better.
This chapter was great! Not too much violence - just Percy calming down and Artemis asking for forgiveness. You have a very interesting way of writing - you don't give the readers any easy points - for example, when Artemis asked Percy for forgiveness, Percy could have just said "yeah I forgive you no problemo" and Artemis could have been like "uwu such a nice boy. i like him" But you added a bit of nuance in saying that Percy only said that he was capable of forgiving her and that Percy had another offer.
I think if you had a chapter like this in between two different rising actions, the story would read better.
1/4/2021 c16 anaklumos28
When I first read this chapter, I thought it would have been a great moment for Percy to comfort Jessica and for Percy and Artemis to be all buddy-buddy afterward. I think your method was slightly better in adding more tension to the plot, but you kind of need some falling action after each piece of rising action.
For example, "a lot of the hunters were killed" - rising action, "Percy severely hurts people who were cruel to him" - rising action, "Percy is killing the giant dude" - rising action. You need to have a couple of moments of peace in order for the "problems" to have more value; otherwise, it sounds like a story about problems and not a story about Percy's journey. So if you could add a bit about just how the campers and Percy get along for a little bit before starting the next problem, that would be a great start, I think.
As always, the interaction between Purge and Percy is really interesting and more thought out than I initially thought. I find it kind of interesting that Percy commented on the fact that he kept saying the weapon's name, haha! It reminds me of Bleach where I think the people say their attacks' name when they use it.
When I first read this chapter, I thought it would have been a great moment for Percy to comfort Jessica and for Percy and Artemis to be all buddy-buddy afterward. I think your method was slightly better in adding more tension to the plot, but you kind of need some falling action after each piece of rising action.
For example, "a lot of the hunters were killed" - rising action, "Percy severely hurts people who were cruel to him" - rising action, "Percy is killing the giant dude" - rising action. You need to have a couple of moments of peace in order for the "problems" to have more value; otherwise, it sounds like a story about problems and not a story about Percy's journey. So if you could add a bit about just how the campers and Percy get along for a little bit before starting the next problem, that would be a great start, I think.
As always, the interaction between Purge and Percy is really interesting and more thought out than I initially thought. I find it kind of interesting that Percy commented on the fact that he kept saying the weapon's name, haha! It reminds me of Bleach where I think the people say their attacks' name when they use it.
12/31/2020 c15 anaklumos28
For your lack of a plot, the changes in character dynamics kind of make up for it ;) I also like Pertemis but you make it so hard for a reader to know anyone's growing feelings towards each other. Please make up your mind soon :)
For your lack of a plot, the changes in character dynamics kind of make up for it ;) I also like Pertemis but you make it so hard for a reader to know anyone's growing feelings towards each other. Please make up your mind soon :)
12/31/2020 c14 anaklumos28
Please tell me Percy goes and gets the dead hunters back to life -that would be one heck of a plot. I also enjoy the interaction between Percy and Jasmine - it is a little bubble of energy that brings positive life back into the story.
Please tell me Percy goes and gets the dead hunters back to life -that would be one heck of a plot. I also enjoy the interaction between Percy and Jasmine - it is a little bubble of energy that brings positive life back into the story.
12/31/2020 c13 anaklumos28
Wow, I admire your bravery to actually kill characters.
Although, I feel like it was a bit unfair that the people who were central to the plot survived ;) Also, I wish Poryphrion died when Percy had interacted with him - maybe breaking the rule about killing giants because Percy has titan powers, which is beyond the Olympian level?
Your writing of the interaction between Purgatory and Percy is simply brilliant with how Purgatory stays calm when he knows Percy is angry and I love how Percy almost demolishes Poryphrion.
Wow, I admire your bravery to actually kill characters.
Although, I feel like it was a bit unfair that the people who were central to the plot survived ;) Also, I wish Poryphrion died when Percy had interacted with him - maybe breaking the rule about killing giants because Percy has titan powers, which is beyond the Olympian level?
Your writing of the interaction between Purgatory and Percy is simply brilliant with how Purgatory stays calm when he knows Percy is angry and I love how Percy almost demolishes Poryphrion.
12/31/2020 c12 anaklumos28
Some plot-driving action - I am enjoying this a bit more! Although I wish you would pair someone with Percy rather than making us guess. Don't take offense but I sometimes wonder if you yourself are a bit like Purgatory - your writing style is so flamboyant at times when talking about the desires of the vile male characters and so descriptive and violent in the battle scenes.
I am a bit excited by your cliffhanger :)
Some plot-driving action - I am enjoying this a bit more! Although I wish you would pair someone with Percy rather than making us guess. Don't take offense but I sometimes wonder if you yourself are a bit like Purgatory - your writing style is so flamboyant at times when talking about the desires of the vile male characters and so descriptive and violent in the battle scenes.
I am a bit excited by your cliffhanger :)
12/31/2020 c11 anaklumos28
It is finally good to see some story action in which Percy is not trying to kill someone for what they did to him.
I do feel like your romance parts are a bit too passionate, but this may be a way for you to express those feelings so I am going to try to not judge.
I am interested by your cliffhanger at the end - who the heck is Percy going to be paired with? Honestly, even Styx would be a pretty good idea lol.
It is finally good to see some story action in which Percy is not trying to kill someone for what they did to him.
I do feel like your romance parts are a bit too passionate, but this may be a way for you to express those feelings so I am going to try to not judge.
I am interested by your cliffhanger at the end - who the heck is Percy going to be paired with? Honestly, even Styx would be a pretty good idea lol.
12/31/2020 c10 anaklumos28
You obviously thought these weapons out quite well and even creating a special type of material just for Percy.
I do wonder if just having a few weapons that Percy uses more frequently might have been better than having like 11 Percy uses a little.
I also like the idea of a weapon that only Percy and not Purgatory can use. I really hope you use that in some plot action; otherwise, I feel like you are just churning out a great big backstory for no reason lol.
You obviously thought these weapons out quite well and even creating a special type of material just for Percy.
I do wonder if just having a few weapons that Percy uses more frequently might have been better than having like 11 Percy uses a little.
I also like the idea of a weapon that only Percy and not Purgatory can use. I really hope you use that in some plot action; otherwise, I feel like you are just churning out a great big backstory for no reason lol.
12/31/2020 c9 anaklumos28
I like the vindictive pleasure that we feel when those Titans are killed; they have such horrible, cruel plans.
However, I don't know if that is a healthy way to drive the plot - having to kill a father who wants to have sex with his daughter? I don't even know if Kronos would be horrible enough to do that. Although to be fair, I have never met him personally. ;) I also wonder if there could have been a way for Bi to survive (I thought Bi was a nickname for Bianco di Angelo for some reason lol)
I do love the little scene between Zoe and Percy - it shows how innocent they are romantically and how much they still respect each other. It is a breath of fresh air in this book with gods trying to have forceful sex with other gods/people.
I like the vindictive pleasure that we feel when those Titans are killed; they have such horrible, cruel plans.
However, I don't know if that is a healthy way to drive the plot - having to kill a father who wants to have sex with his daughter? I don't even know if Kronos would be horrible enough to do that. Although to be fair, I have never met him personally. ;) I also wonder if there could have been a way for Bi to survive (I thought Bi was a nickname for Bianco di Angelo for some reason lol)
I do love the little scene between Zoe and Percy - it shows how innocent they are romantically and how much they still respect each other. It is a breath of fresh air in this book with gods trying to have forceful sex with other gods/people.
12/31/2020 c8 anaklumos28
After some thought, I think I enjoy understanding about Percy's backstory because it does help us understand how he got all these cool powers. I think it might have been a better fit to have this part at the very beginning; however, I am not sure if this just happened to cross your mind after the 7th chapter or you intentionally left out that information? I guess it will become more obvious as the story progresses.
One thing I think could be improved is the lack of a plot - sure Percy is angry at all his previous homies for letting him go to Tartarus, and I am not saying that Percy needs to know the whole story before he goes and does anything, but I feel like the story has no direction. Is Percy protecting the hunters as they go on a dangerous hunting expedition? Is Percy planning to save a group of abandoned girls somewhere dangerous? Does Percy to fight the Primordials with his new powers? Additionally, I am not sure if the rap* component of Cameron's dialogue was necessary to show Cameron was a complete bubble butt and I feel that it may not be thoroughly within the T rating boundary and I would appreciate if you would not include that in further chapters.
As I said before, I love seeing all these cool weapons and Percy killing all these Titans. I think the writing of how one lucky blow to Kronos allowed Percy to slowly get momentum to kill all these Titans is pretty cool.
After some thought, I think I enjoy understanding about Percy's backstory because it does help us understand how he got all these cool powers. I think it might have been a better fit to have this part at the very beginning; however, I am not sure if this just happened to cross your mind after the 7th chapter or you intentionally left out that information? I guess it will become more obvious as the story progresses.
One thing I think could be improved is the lack of a plot - sure Percy is angry at all his previous homies for letting him go to Tartarus, and I am not saying that Percy needs to know the whole story before he goes and does anything, but I feel like the story has no direction. Is Percy protecting the hunters as they go on a dangerous hunting expedition? Is Percy planning to save a group of abandoned girls somewhere dangerous? Does Percy to fight the Primordials with his new powers? Additionally, I am not sure if the rap* component of Cameron's dialogue was necessary to show Cameron was a complete bubble butt and I feel that it may not be thoroughly within the T rating boundary and I would appreciate if you would not include that in further chapters.
As I said before, I love seeing all these cool weapons and Percy killing all these Titans. I think the writing of how one lucky blow to Kronos allowed Percy to slowly get momentum to kill all these Titans is pretty cool.
12/30/2020 c7 anaklumos28
Holy fricking heck. How do you write Cameron in a way that makes me hate him so much - I don't know how you get these ideas for all these crazy characters and ways of dieing but you definitely have good battle scenes.
Holy fricking heck. How do you write Cameron in a way that makes me hate him so much - I don't know how you get these ideas for all these crazy characters and ways of dieing but you definitely have good battle scenes.
12/30/2020 c6 anaklumos28
ooooh I am so excited - you didn't show the interactions between Purgatory and the rest of the 7 campers but that's fine. I just want to see Cameron get destroyed!
ooooh I am so excited - you didn't show the interactions between Purgatory and the rest of the 7 campers but that's fine. I just want to see Cameron get destroyed!
12/30/2020 c5 anaklumos28
I would like to see Percy with Artemis, Calpyso, or Zoe. I think I would feel slightly nauseous if you paired him with Annabeth.
I hope you don't focus too much on the battles - they do have some vindictive pleasure but they don't feel like they bring any plot-driving action.
I do like how Percy manhandles Zeus and the cool names for his weapons :)
I would like to see Percy with Artemis, Calpyso, or Zoe. I think I would feel slightly nauseous if you paired him with Annabeth.
I hope you don't focus too much on the battles - they do have some vindictive pleasure but they don't feel like they bring any plot-driving action.
I do like how Percy manhandles Zeus and the cool names for his weapons :)