for Twisted2/3/2015 c1 
10Resonant Delusion
Interesting beginning. Normally I don't read stories with OCs because I find them to be self inserts or total Mary Sues, but yours seems believable and I think I'll enjoy seeing what kinds of adventures he'll have. (And yes, I realize I sound like a hypocrite because I have a handful of Numb3rs OCs. Whoops.)
For constructive criticism... Your spelling is good, but it's the grammar that could use some polishing. For instance, periods after someone speaks and at the end of sentences, some commas were missing, little things like that. If you fix those little tidbits up, I think you'll have an even better story on your hands.
Normally I don't review on this account, but meh. (That's a great explanation, isn't it?) I'll keep track of this story through alerts 'cause I'm curious to see where you'll take it.
Keep it up.
10Resonant DelusionInteresting beginning. Normally I don't read stories with OCs because I find them to be self inserts or total Mary Sues, but yours seems believable and I think I'll enjoy seeing what kinds of adventures he'll have. (And yes, I realize I sound like a hypocrite because I have a handful of Numb3rs OCs. Whoops.)
For constructive criticism... Your spelling is good, but it's the grammar that could use some polishing. For instance, periods after someone speaks and at the end of sentences, some commas were missing, little things like that. If you fix those little tidbits up, I think you'll have an even better story on your hands.
Normally I don't review on this account, but meh. (That's a great explanation, isn't it?) I'll keep track of this story through alerts 'cause I'm curious to see where you'll take it.
Keep it up.