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for Headphones

8/3/2016 c2 18arissaprincess321
10/7/2015 c3 2Cecelia.Lunette
I'm staying nerdy.

Just so you know, I love this and I want more!
10/7/2015 c2 Cecelia.Lunette
I care. You have a very fun and sweet way of writing.

Very easy to jump right in and never want to leave.
Trust me. :)
6/1/2015 c2 18PrincessoftheShadowsofDestiny
this is entertaining. i dunno why people don't like it more, propabky just getting over shadowed by big stories like yarningchicks, and though i love her work and am one of her betas, i appriciate that this a well written fanfiction. please keep going!
4/1/2015 c2 49Catsafari
Hey, I finally got around to checking your story - sorry for the delay; I haven't been particularly active on as of late - and I have to admit I really rather enjoyed it! I do have some constructive criticism though, if you want some advice.

I know this is a songfic, but, personally, I think you are relying too heavily on the song lyrics in your chapters. It's fun to have lyrics in a story - I can't judge; I'm as guilty of it as you are - but they do not convey plot. They can help set the mood, but they can also take time away from the characters themselves. So be moderate in your use of songs.

I can tell that you're wanting to write a sequel and that you've been discouraged by the quiet response, but remember that this is a oneshot-turned-twoshot story. Oneshots are usually short scenes or stories that aren't inherently complex and don't usually set up a plot. (They're also not greatly popular in this fandom.) So if you want to write a sequel - and I presume you mean a multi-chaptered story - then you will have to start considering plot. Make sure that when you write, you set up 'hooks' - that is, something to get the reader wanting to read and know more. In YC's most recent story, the hook is the mystery of the curse, but the hook can also be action or adventure or just general mystery concerning how the story is going to end. Get your readers thinking.

That all said, you're a good writer! Don't hide behind those lyrics. The conversation you penned between Mandy and Bethany (by the way, your friend sounds very cool) was natural and funny and I would have enjoyed seeing a lot more of your original writing. And, trust me, getting natural-sounding speech is quite a skill. Now all you need to do is organise a plotline, bait the readers with hooks, and get writing!

Seriously though, I believe you could be a great writer with practice and patience. So, if you have a story you're burning to write, write it. (And plan it out as well, otherwise you'll strangle yourself with plotholes... Something I have done too many times.) If you enjoy writing a story, then that enthusiasm will become clear in the reading, even if you need to proof-read it a couple of times to smooth out typos/etc. Nothing will kill a story faster than if you tire of writing it. And, if you need someone to beta, I'm always happy to help.

Happy writing.


(Also, I love Headphones; I think another TCR fan (or was it you?) actually recommended that song to me last year, when I was having quite a downer. Now it's my pick-me-up for whenever things get too stressful. So I thoroughly approve the song choice. I am not familiar with the second song, but I'll have to go check it out!)
3/22/2015 c2 2SilverDragon-Purity
I like your story. It in fact got me hooked on Headphones to the point I bought the artist's cd on iTunes. Plus I want to see how the Bureau would interact with Mandy. Heck how MACHIDA would interact with Mandy.
11/9/2014 c1 49samuraistar
Aw, that was sweet! Now I just have to hear the song! _'''''
11/8/2014 c1 Anon
If this turns out to be a chaptered fic... It be neat if Mandy turned out to be the dog that chased her earlier! Maybe Mandy an American breed from the dog kingdom was a little too anxious to met her e-pal! And Haru having had dealings with the cat kingdom, didn't know it possible for other kingdoms to exist much else her best e-pal to literally be man best friend! And how the cat bureau reacts/deals with the news! Maybe Mandy not being a prejudice pup will help Haru get Baron, while get a crush on Muta herself! All those for a little side story of a dog and cat romance say AYE! (sorry got carried away!) But can you imagine Mandy in love/like with Muta not minding he's a cat and Muta scared of Mandy cause she's a dog! (sounds like married life, man or in this case Muta should be scared, gives him a glimpse of his future... Women no matter the species is always in charge and like a good er ...Kitty he should just heel and obey (if this turns into a marriage fic I'd love for this line to be added to his vows! Heel and Obey! ) Just a run on thought!
Thanks for sharing your story!
11/7/2014 c1 7FantomPhan33
Allow me to be your first review and say good job. I enjoyed the little humor about the dog...chasing her to AND from school. I mean what is the deal, does the dog just sit and wait for HER?

And that is cool that she gets to meet her E-Pal like that. Skype works too. ha ha

Nice story and congratulations on your first post.

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