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for Nobody told Me the rules

4/11 c52 dastewie2012
My boy flitwick rocket jumped
3/31 c4 maiqsmail
A/n literally before the fanfic starts:
This is not a self insert Mary Sue OC.

Also fanfic:
MC has no Trace, morphes into superhuman, understands parsleytongue, apparently has enough understanding of magic to buy NEWT theory books before being Sorted into 1st year.

False advertising, hard drop.
3/31 c9 NuitsNarratives
the Gary Stu is real here... first day of classes and Zack already knows:
-wandlessly and silently transfigured his Start of year feast spoon as a firstie right in front of the 7th year Head Girl and on top of that is flirting with her and nobody bats an eye
-gets woken up, and wandlessly/silently conjured a mirror the first day to inspect himself.
-the whole Metamorph angle of growing his own clothes, and even armoring his hand against corrosive herbology...
-same Metamorphmagus thing for Zack is 90% of a meta-animagus, even though canon Metamorph Tonks could barely do bits and pieces (yes she could give herself a pig snout, or a duck beak, etc, but she couldn't grow functional wings)
-achieved silent levitation on his first try ever, and doing it through a different method than in the book, whether for First-Year or Seventh-Year (plus this was taught on October 31st in canon, so almost 2 months in) and yet he has mastered it on his very first day of classes ever.
-repotting Mandrakes... the same plant that was for Second Years or older specifically because if you don't wear the earmuffs that block ALL sound, they'll fucking kill you? And yet on their first day ever at Hogwarts, yeah let's repot a plant that'll fucking kill us if we hear it scream.
-while repotting said Mandrakes, he also goes and did more godmode Metamorph things to grow his skin into super-armor that stops anything

And that only led upto this chapter, where literally one sentence he was only three meters high. Next sentence he was only six meters high. Author literally writes "the broom stopped at NINE meters high". A few (paragraphs that were only one-line sentences) later he's at TWELVE meters high before he uses his godmode Metamorph power to vanish his bones and nerves to become a bag of soup as he falls. And somehow that height suddenly changed from twelve meters to sixty meters, an instantaneous increase by a factor of five... you'd think he'd notice if he were sixty meters up instead of only twelve because of how small everybody was, and how loud you have to shout to be heard.

And I'm just going to ignore detailing most of the things wrong about falling 60 meters, without any bones at all, and how his internal organs and brain should be destroyed. On impact his brain should have been so fucked, he'd no longer have a sense of self, and therefore couldn't possibly regrow his body. Because without a functioning brain, he'd be a fucking vegetable at best, totally unable to reform his body... or at least he would be if he didn't have Gary Stu god-mode.

First chapter really needs some tags that this is not only a Crack fic, it's a god-mode Gary Stu self-insert (despite author claiming it's not SI). This Zack guy clearly read HP books before he somehow wound up in the universe, so the excuse "nobody told me" can't apply, because he read the books and/or fanfics before being transported to the universe. He knows how things work, in a general sense... but an 11 year old flirting with an 18 year old isn't normal, Gary Stu isn't normal, his sense of magic and spell casting isn't normal whether in fanfics or to this universe.
3/10 c4 Guest
So sherogorath is chilling giving out wands for the ling play of chaos In the world
3/11 c68 odonnellzoo99
This was entertaining but strange. I don’t know how much of it was intentional but definitely unusual.
I appreciate the pivot when the pacing of the story wasn’t right early on. Many writers would have just abandoned the story. Huge props for not doing that and building the corrections into the storyline. That was clever.
3/8 c2 Jakulo
Yo He's pretty mellow for someone who just lost his parents
2/13 c68 lukeanimelover
2/12 c22 lukeanimelover
Thats weird… just redoing everything again…
2/12 c13 lukeanimelover
Im in love with the shape of you…

Im sorry i just couldnt help it *insert laughing emoji*
2/1 c15 dastewie2012
Makes sense. He helped get revenge on the man who got mary killed
1/26 c6 17Child of Dreams
It's Metamorphmagi, not Metamorphagi.
Also, pretty sure Tonks was a Hufflepuff.
1/26 c4 Child of Dreams
Do you mean loaded?
1/26 c1 Child of Dreams
Is this based off of the movies?
Because book-Flitwick had white hair.
1/10 c68 corymerlin
Almost lost me in the 20s but a good read
12/20/2023 c2 Guest
Ok...I'm out
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