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8/30 c22 5DGJabberwocky
As much as I like this story, the POV changes repeating the same content is annoying and a little bit lazy
6/6/2020 c22 springpanther
I hope you continue the story and its counterpart soon. Can't wait!

Hope all is well!
8/19/2019 c4 Cats are my World
Use full sentences and paragraph properly. New paragraph for a new idea or a new person talking (or, if a paragraph looks like a wall of text, just find a sentence that feels right to start a new paragraph.) When paragraphing the same person speaking, I'm not sure how to explain it exactly, but fo it like this:

So and so said, "blah blah blah, this is the first idea and every sentence in this paragraph relates to each other. This second sentence relates to the first. This third sentence also relateds to the previous two. The fourth isn't thay different either.

"However, blah blah blah, this fifth sentence is a new idea - or the previous paragraph was getting too long and it just felt right to start a new paragraph here. Notice how the first paragraph has no closing speech marks. There is a reason for that and it is because this second paragraph is the same person talking.

"This is the final idea. It is paragraphed separately to the previous one for the same reason paragraph two was separated from paragraph one. Notice how the speech marks of paragraph two are the same as paragraph one? And how paragraph three has closing speech marks because it's the last paragraph of this person speaking?"

"Oh," said so and so's friend. "Did you know that comic-book-Nightcrawler is a master swordsman and can wield three swords proficiently? One in either hand and one in his tail."
8/19/2019 c3 Cats are my World
If you repeat a scene in a different point of view, don't make more than about 20% exactly the same - in other words: rewrite the scene to suit the different character, avoid copying dialogue and avoid copying descriptions.

On that matter, your story needs more description. Tell me what they see, hear, smell, feel (emotionally and physically) and, sometimes, what they taste. Tell me what they related and associate their environment and people with. Maybe there's a smell that reminds them of the X-Mansion (or whatever they call it) or a person's accent and speech mannerisms remind them of someone who traumatised them.
8/19/2019 c1 Cats are my World
Don't start a new paragraph with each new sentence - doing so makes it as difficult and uncomfortable to read as not paragraphing at all! I recommend editing every chapter that doesn't have correct paragraphing format, even if the paragraphs are already posted.
5/22/2019 c1 Guest
Love the story. Hope you’ll come back to it.
9/23/2017 c22 Mark Adaar
I love Aster's name!
4/28/2017 c22 Guest
Update update please update update
4/23/2017 c22 3coronadomontes
buen capitulo-good chapter
11/12/2016 c20 3ArcherWriter
I'm sorry that you have to delete ur account ur a really great writer. I'll adopt Of Sirens, Kitty Kats, and Creepy Vrawlers along with the other on with Kid Flash. Thanks for this story.
7/31/2016 c20 GhostLucy
(I cant sign in right now by the way)
I hope you will come back one day to continue writing stories everyone adores! I know this may sound selfish but could you please keep your account, that way one if one day you start writing once again we will be able to find you!
I promise you everyone had that time in their life where they start to deal with things, no ignore that just know that we are here for you every step of the way and we only want the best for you! (insert hearts here)
Let me say this for me if not everyone of your followers (and those who dont have accounts who read you) your an amazing writer and person, don't let anything bring you down because you are wayyy to spectacular for that!

. With love,
. GhostLucy
7/31/2016 c20 Guest
I going to miss your stories so much. They made me smile, and I would totally adopt them if I wasn't in the same situation as you. I loved reading your stories and I hope someone who can do them justice adopts them.
7/31/2016 c20 3coronadomontes
buena suerte
7/26/2016 c7 Guest
He is. It makes total sense since no two mutants powers are the "same". And they both are the same in nearly every aspect other than color, age, and number of fingers.
6/3/2016 c19 Electra
Please do more!
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