Just In
for My Cake

1/6/2015 c1 Dntien
In case you didn't see my review on the phorums

I have to say that this was very amusing and funny for me to read. The moment I saw the title cake and Elesis in the tag, I knew it was going to be good.

Anyways, the one issue I noticed was that you don't have parallelism in some of your sentences. Remember that there are some exceptions to this rule, but usually you'll want to have your sentences in the same tense. Ex: if your sentence has a past tense with -ed, did, etc. , try to make every possible word in that sentence in past tense.
12/28/2014 c1 Metria
awww, i can imagine elbrat sobbing like 5 YL naw :3
12/7/2014 c1 13Elesia
My sides had left orbit!
Better late than never

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