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5/8 c157 dextron11
So far I am really loving this story. I do hope that Naruto doesn’t end up having to leave the Jedi Order, at least not for very long. The Untold Prophecy already did that, and I really hated it. The Jedi can be fixed from within, otherwise you lose the core concept that they are good people being held back by misunderstandings and fear.
Also, I feel that when Naruto rebuilds his lightsaber, it should be full size. I think it’s time for him to accept that violence is a part of who he is, and that that doesn’t make him dark, or evil, or lesser. It makes him a man doing his best with a bad hand. Or else he could build a dual phase lightsaber, with his Krayt pearl and pontite crystal together. Then he could accept the duality of his nature as both a warrior and a peacekeeper. It also would appeal to his practical side, having a shoot and full size saber in one package.
On a more inquisitive note, I have noticed that Naruto’s dark side has a suspicious degree of agency, bordering on personhood. It reminds me more of Ichigo’s inner hollow than a subconscious representation of Naruto’s own darker tendencies. Is this related to his Otsutski heritage, or to whoever messed with his mind?
5/6 c60 dextron11
I like this story, and normally I don’t review older chapters, but this has to be addressed. Please, for the love of all that is holy, don’t EVER use “over and out” on a radio. It isn’t a thing. In my unit in the Marines we used to make people who said that do wall sits for an hour.
“Over” means that you are done talking and are waiting for someone to respond. “Out” means that you are done with the conversation and will not be listening for a response. “Over and out” is contradictory and makes you sound like you don’t know how to use a radio.
I’m sorry to rant about this, but this phrase has infected popular culture like MRSA, and I can’t stand it. It isn’t a thing. It was never a thing. It’s like a mutated goblin that needs to be stomped on until its fingers stop twitching.
4/20 c157 irinamuhamedova4
Превосходно. Продолжение будет?
4/18 c55 3Lord Bz
Well, well, well, finally the end of part 1.

Honestly, I've been pleasantly surprised by the overall quality of this story. I expected nothing and got a rather wild ride out of it, what could I ask more?

I think the rhythm of the action is as close to perfect as it could be, the adventures kept me hooked almost continuously and the whole has been more or less coherent until now.

Where does this story trip? Grammar and typos. It's a (serious) problem when entire sentences are jumbled and nonsensical because of one or two mistakes and the reader has to piece the meaning back together. It happens regularly and detracts from the pleasure I had reading this.

IMO, there is an over-reliance on the "thanks to the Force" gimmick as well. YMMV on that point and I acknowledge that, if there is one universe where you have a built-in Deux Ex-Machina, it's Star Wars. Still, sometimes, it's less about the characters cleverly solving a situation and more of "blablabla, the Force". A bit of a shame.

Plus, it becomes kinda cheap when Dark Jedi/Sith/Dark Side users routinely overwhelm Jedi/Light Side users because "muh muh Dark Side". You can't make it more canon than Yoda telling Luke that the dark side is in no way stronger but here, it sure repeatedly feels like it... And yet without much consistency. Honestly, I don't hold it against the story: you need a powerful solitary antagonist when the balance between good guys/bad guys is basically Jedi Order vs. two or three Siths. But, IMO, it ends up robbing the Force of its more philosophical aspects.

It is accentuated by all those Force powers, that feels like the skill tree of a video game. This one is not on the author and entirely on those who wrote the extended universe but it robs a large part of the magic and philosophical feel of the Force. Like, "for 100 xp more, unlock Force Pyromancy".

Fan service is handled very well at times, poorly at others. It is fan-fiction: if there were no fan service at all, it would be weird. But there is "meeting Obi-Wan in passing at the temple" and "fighting/riding a rancor because Luke fought one in Episode 6". Not very elegant. Again, YMMV.

The Aurra-arc bore me. It is Sasuke-tier in meaning. It was already boring in Naruto, the OG, but worst, it was *already* in Naruto, the OG, period. At least, Naruto did not make it his life mission to bring her back.

But all that are rather small details in the grand scheme of this fanfic. No, the one point that I find frankly missed, is the character of Naruto.

The boy has been raised for all his life (yes, all his life: he was taken in at 4 y.o: no one remembers their life before that point anyway) by the Jedi and... He is about as affected by it as a mountain is affected by the flight of a butterfly. He is still inexplicably hyper, still rash, still impatient, still loud, still about exactly the same shonen protag that he is in the OG. Save for his overall knowledge (and it's the one thing I'll big up the author for: thankfully, he didn't keep Naruto retarded). It's disappointing. But above all, it's unbelievable, immersion-breaking. PEOPLE. ARE. AFFECTED. BY. THEIR. ENVIRONMENT. AND. EDUCATION. It is not that complicated. And do not serve me the "it wouldn't be Naruto if he weren't that way". It's not an argument. It's fanfiction, yes, but it's a story first and foremost. For the characters to feel like humans, the author should show me they do not evolve in a vacuum. And the author does that well with An'ya. But, inexplicably, not for Naruto. Why is one character allowed to change and not the other? *shrug arms and shoulders questioningly*.

It leads to the arc I did not enjoy. This Konoha arc. All the interactions felt inhumanly heightened, narratively forced, deserted from rationality. Rather than a Naruto raised by the Jedi, I read about a Naruto "squared": everything from his personality that grated on my nerves in the OG felt multiplied. For no clear reason. I genuinely did not understand/sympathize with any of his struggles and reactions because none of them made sense/were explained. There was a lot of telling rather than showing during this arc as well (honestly, a lot of grammatical mistakes too, which made understanding the whole difficult).

So? Honestly, there is a LOT of good in this fanfic and I encourage you to read it (if you are not allergic to canon!Naruto personality). There are things that could have been done slightly better but that do not diminish the pleasure starkly. However, there is, IMO, a glaring problem with characterisation.
4/17 c157 Spiked29
Hey I've been following this story for 4 years now. "Since 2017" and I've reread it twice after I lost where I was in it. I liked it that much. I love what you've been setting up and how the story has progressed im not gonna try and guess where your taking it, but I do have to ask... have u ever thought of using other people's OC's for any parts. Like they give u a basic outline and u have the freedom to do as u will with them. Just curious, thanks for making an awesome story I love the journey and I can't wait to see where it goes from here
4/10 c157 mckertis
Why is it that outstanding stories get dropped at chapter 10 or less, yet this mediocrity is still going ? Not only that, but this idiot even wastes the story space with shitty Q&A that nobody asks for.
4/2 c157 ivan999
mmm... buena historia... aunque un poco extensa para mi gusto. Ojala este vivo para el día en que la termines ajaja actualiza pronto por favor.
4/1 c157 Guest
Yo. Is Naruto still going to be a shorty since he's 6'1" in Boruto now? I'd like to hope he gets his growth spurt around the 19-20 mark instead of staying tiny in this story.
3/29 c18 HereticSmurf
This story is pretty good but I really dislike the Dark Women for some reason. Think she's a terrible master.
3/28 c44 GodlySpeedy
Ni siquiera pudo contra la arena de Gaara? que patetico la verdad, estoy fuera :/
3/27 c157 Dahaka21
Loving this story from the start. I will continue to support it.

Hope to read more soon.
3/27 c157 1animeArty
AWESOME! such suspence, such emotion, such mystery.. may the force be with you.
3/27 c10 AvidReader2425
Thanks for another entertaining chapter
3/27 c9 AvidReader2425
Definitely another very fun chapter, and considering it’s Naruto, definitely curious on when he’s just going to break the system LOL
3/27 c8 AvidReader2425
Thank you very much for another excellent chapter
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