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for How Christmas became Christmas

1/3/2015 c1 28Smash King24
Wait a second. You mean to tell me that the jolly old fat guy that puts presents under my tree on Christmas morning isn't Santa Claus but actually King Dedede?

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I KNEW IT!

Ahem, um, anyways, excellent work here Pitta. I thought this was quite the adorable little story that was equally full of hilariousness. From King Dedede's antics to the random encounters with Chrom and the Shepherds, I'd say that the Smashers had a really memorable Christmas this year.

As far as your writing is concerned, I know that English isn't your first language, but you surprisingly pulled it off very nicely in this story. There really weren't many spelling mistakes so much as there were certain words accidentally being used in place of other ones. Other than that, I didn't really see any major problems. The way you formatted everything is nice and your storytelling skills make it pretty easy to read.

Regarding the story, I found Dedede's crazy plan with fire to be a little overkill. He pretty much locked Dark Pit and Meta Knight in a room and set the house on fire. That's pretty intense! (And dangerous). I'm surprised Master Hand didn't kick him out of the Smash Bros. for doing that. Thankfully, it looks like he learned his lesson, and he made up for it by being... well Santa Claus for the kids.

I found the nod to "It Came from Lucina's Head" to be pretty cute. You gave it a brief mention but didn't dive very deep into it. So great job on keeping the train on the tracks!

Poor Kirby always seems to get caught on the wrong end of these stories. Maybe it's his innocence or clumsiness? I found that the way you referred to everyone as "brothers" was kind of weird, until I realized you were alluding to them being in Super Smash Bros., which is totally cool. You didn't mean that they were literally brothers, you just wanted to show off the relationship these characters had for each other.

Also, I appreciate the effort you put in to making a cover image for this story. There's no points awarded for art since this is a writing contest, but it looks very nice all the same. :P

Anyway, good job on the story and thanks for participating. Best of luck to you in the contest!

-Smash
12/23/2014 c1 4TotoSage
Don't worry about your English because this story was really well written. It inspired me to start thinking about writing another Christmas fic myself.
12/20/2014 c1 alcamoth
Those Ridley cards. I'm dying. XD
Sweet story though!
12/20/2014 c1 1Darth Sinox
I couldn't help going to YouTube and putting on, your a mean one mr grinch, during dedede's part.

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