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for Ninja Storm:leopard rangers

8/24/2016 c2 Guest
You need to work on a plot line and stick to it. Also I can't tell if you are trying to write this in first person or third person. Also are you trying to combine 2 different power rangers worlds? Cause a leopard ranger that says "Power of the leopard!" fits more into Jungle Fury than Ninja writing is to hard you need to smooth it out and add more details. For example the last sentence in chapter 2 from Blakes point of view 1)your explanation as to why blake and hunter don't trust her makes no sense. It could have been better like this: I don't trust her out there alone said blake. "yea same here" said hunter as he watch the door she left out of. "uhh why not dudes?" asked dustin. "well lets see, she's only 10yrs old, walking alone when there is potential for her to get hurt and she has strange powers and we don't know what they are." "she'll be fine dudes." "yea sure" they agreed looking at the door.

See the difference? anyway I hope you take my constructive criticism and continue to write stories
8/24/2016 c1 Cat
So far not really that good. there's not much to get interest up to read on but I will in hopes it gets better.
3/16/2016 c15 KeySwagg3000
11/23/2015 c9 19sweetredranger
When someone says something it needs to be in quotation marks. When ever these is a new speaker you start a new line.
"Correct Blake," said Sensei.
"Zoey will so love to here this," said Dustin.
"Why hasn't she told us?" I asked.
"I don't know," He said, with a shrug.
9/13/2015 c13 1brittanyrhoden169
luv story
4/25/2015 c6 Guest
shane and dustin
12/25/2014 c6 8Blue eyed titan99
12/25/2014 c2 Blue eyed titan99
real good so far
12/21/2014 c1 bronson.simmerman
I think her romance should be with Shane

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