FanFiction.Net
Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for The Losers (Rewrite)

12/4 c4 2Ketto Uzumaki
Didn’t know this until now but that plan of the giant man made kite an actual shinobi legend so nice work there
12/4 c1 Ketto Uzumaki
Third time reading this still gets me smiling and laughing and invested in the overall cast
11/6 c56 Reinaldo Olguin
Muy buena historia espero con ansias la secuela
9/28 c56 Kined
I just finished reading this, 9,9 out of 10
Just for some grammatic flaws but that's it. loved it
8/9 c27 Guest
The idea of this story is really great, but the execution, is not the best. Changing the academy curriculum is an interesting way to turn the school on its head. In canon, sasuke and sakura are 1 and 2 graduates, but suffer from a lack of critical thinking and teamwork, while others, like the members of team 10, scored lower, but were more effective in the field. This remains the same here, and makes for good moments in the academy, but after teams are assigned its taken to a very exaggerated and unwelcome extent. Kakashi, Sasuke, and to a lesser extent sakura, aren’t written as imperfect people that need some work, they are written as if the author despises their existence. The dynamic between kakashi and his team is written so poorly that it verges on unreadable at its worst and aggravating at its best. Even worse, almost every character talks in the same manner, breaking into rants that could be easily cut in half or removed outright as they add little to the narrative and are best skipped while reading. The most annoying part though, is the writing isn’t even unsalvageable, and the overall plot is good enough to make you want to read. This could easily be one of the best naruto fics out there if an unbiased and focused writer went through and fixed it up. A good editing could fix most if not all of the story’s major flaws, because concept as is, isn't half bad.
6/27 c17 Guest
I love this chapter. I have already read past this point and came back to write this. I wish Kakashi's attitude towards Naruto hadn't changed after this. He goes from Only Naruto was worthy of being a ninja to ignoring him. Feels like a case of whiplash.
6/12 c56 ARU72
When will next chapter come out
6/10 c1 TravelerPeace
Hi can't wait for the sequel of The Losers. Ino need to realize what she wants for her future and stop being a brat blaming everyones for something they've done nothing to her.
6/5 c56 14SpiralAK
I'm not a fan of how Kakashi and Sasuke were written (also Ino to a lesser extent, but it seems like she can still grow). They're both unreasonably stubborn, their worst traits are magnified to an absurd degree, and they're constantly belittled, disrespected and insulted by everyone around them. Sasuke in particular lacks any sort of self-awareness to the point that he seems pretty foolish instead of a believable threat, and his entitlement doesn't make much sense considering that he's usually a hard worker who wants more power.

I don't have a problem with either of them being against Naruto, and Kakashi at least feels like someone who's only doubling down on his goal because he's never been given a chance by anyone, even with everything I previously wrote.

It's like you decided that you weren't going to give either of them a fair shake from Day 1, and the writing reflected that. The reason I say this is because Sakura nearly got subjected to this same treatment, but she was able to reflect on her actions, apologize and get better. Same goes for the Hokage.

If Kakashi had a change of heart somewhere or maybe considered that he should give proper time to his other students instead of getting angry that they justifiably go to other teachers instead of him, then it might've worked better. Something along those lines, anyway.

Naruto's all right. I like his sealing skills and clone tricks, but my big problem with him is that he's never wrong and never really screws up. He was disrespectful to Kakashi from their first meeting, but because Kakashi is wrong and Naruto is right, Naruto never considers that Kakashi decided to focus on Sasuke even more is because Naruto decided he was a bad sensei the second after the bell test and treated him as such. His competence is fine, a bit exaggerated at times, but somewhat feasible. His attitude could definitely use some work.

With all this said, I still think you've got something good here. I liked the premise, "The Losers" of the story have a believable bond, cool powers and solid growth as people. I also dig the creativity of the fight scenes and Naruto's relationships with Anko or Homura and Koharu - because it feels like more's happening outside of what the story covers.

I also feel like this story's easy to read. You can work on the prose and some of the dialogue (less is more, I feel), but your ideas and storytelling still come through and the stuff I liked about this is entertaining. I never felt like dropping this story and as it should be clear, the "good" outweighs the "bad".

I just hope you give everyone a fair shake. That way, it doesn't look like you're dunking on them for no reason and if they oppose Naruto, then they'll be credible opponents to him.

I'll definitely be checking out the sequel, since there's some intriguing set-up with Kakashi (does he triple down? Or does he try and make amends?), Ino (will she get off probation? Will she be able to befriend her team?) and "The Losers" (hope they actually get to go on missions together!). Thanks for writing this story.
5/31 c56 5The Sandwich Emperor
ENOUGH WITH THE SASUKE BASHING
5/30 c12 The Sandwich Emperor
Finally No Naruhina
5/30 c7 The Sandwich Emperor
Stop It With The Sasuke Bashing
5/26 c1 Kingofsenju
I need Shippuden
5/25 c56 Jhenifabray
Continue
2/16 c25 26EternalKing
Honestly the writing for this really went down these last couple chapters. Kakashi went from only wanting Naruto, kid of his sensei, to be a Genin and being harsh and strict to Sakura and Sasuke to suddenly favoring the latter two and being dismissive and not having a single thing to do with Naruto. Not to mention Naruto’s suddenly being childish beyond the line of what’s earned the right to feel. Not to mention all the key Sasuke traits from Part 1 aren’t even around. What a joke this story became
1,511 Page 1 2 3 4 11 .. Last Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service