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7/31/2020 c1 19magical fan18
Nice, glad to see this is up and I cannot wait for more chapters.
8/20/2015 c1 Casnova
Please continue. I liked the older story too and came to read this after finishing it. As a few other reviewers may have mentioned, it would be much better if you stuck with the Japanese names for the attacks. So I hope you do not abandon this story even though it has been so long.
4/28/2015 c1 2SNicole25
This is certainly interesting.
4/5/2015 c1 Guest
I can already see the discontinuation chapter coming. :(
1/13/2015 c1 8aleandros137
I'm gonna apologize for the long rant first and foremost because I was a fan of the original, and everything does seem to be in order in this new take on it, but I do have just a bit of nitpicking to do.

I kind of think you should've stuck with the original japanese names for the rokushiki because it just doesn't sound as cool in english. When you sat soru, it's like SORU! but when you say shave it's... well it's shave. Interesting direction you're going so far, but I would suggest showing rather than telling. Instead of telling us how Lucy feels show it through her actions, you don't have to be unique about it, you just have to really let us relate to how she's feeling. This goes for the other characters as well.

And can you please stop shifting POV in the middle of the story? It's kind of nitpicking, I know, but it's just a little bit distracting sometimes when I think I'm reading it from Lucy's POV before it suddenly shifted to Helmeppo's or Coby's.

Is this third person omniscient? If that's the case then you should avoid headhopping. Third person omniscient means the story is being told to us by someone who knows what they're feeling, not the person themselves. If you're going with third person limited then stick with the POV of one character at a time, and if it's third person omniscient then filter their thoughts through the narrator.

Adverbs should also be avoided if they aren't necessary. This is a rule that I forget a lot myself, but it's still a pretty important one. You have to use dialogue and action to convey the tone and mood of the characters, not adverbs.

I'm sorry about all the nitpicking, I really am, but I just want to see this turn out well. Please don't be offended by this review because I am very optimistic about this story.

I was honestly pretty invested in the last series, and it's kind of sad I won't see it finish, but if this is just as or even better than the original then I have no doubt you've made a loyal reader in me for the years to come.
1/10/2015 c1 Coby4lif3
Yo this story crazy good so far and im acutally likeing this cob x lucy you go going. all i ask is make coby have lots of swag, aka hands in pockets, standing tall, has the black expression or scowl on face, and cool rokushiki moves, just pretty much how hes become in the anime. he acutally acts like a captain. also please GOD NO HAREM!.

Did i mention how much im loving this story?
1/10/2015 c1 Guest
Great story so far!
1/10/2015 c1 Critique
Please ignore Matt. He apparently doesn't know what a good story looks like. There's always gonna be a few mistakes made by great authors here and there, but that shouldn't hold accountable by the author him or herself; as long as the story material is excellent, that's all that matters.

I have enjoyed reading your stories for the past year and I love the direction you've taken with all of them. One of my personal favorites is your 'Words Without a Voice' fanfic, due to the fact that your OC ties perfectly with the canon show and the love relationship revolving around Simon and Yoko; there's not many on the site, as it is a very underrated pairing, sad to say…

Nevertheless, I'm planning to write some fanfics of my own, hopefully beginning this spring. After reading many great stories on this website for the past four years, You and many other authors have inspired me! And while I don't consider myself the best writer in the world, I'm still trying to improve my writing skills and make this a favorable hobby of mine. I'm hoping to get my account up this may!

Once again, great stories! I appreciate all the love and hard work you put into your Fanfictions; I really can't say that to a lot of Fanfic writers on the site.

Also, I hope you continue WWAV soon. I haven't seen any updates and it's made me worried that you're going to discontinue. If you've lost inspiration for the story and where it's going, I would be very happy to help contribute more ideas and detail plots as soon as my account is up.

You can pretty much say I'm a 'Fanfiction Producer' for hire... XD

Anyway, good luck in your future endeavors!
1/10/2015 c1 Guest
Also, If you're reading this comment, ignore Matt. He apparently doesn't know what a good story looks like. All of your stories are fantastic including this new rewrite! Me and the rest of the fan fiction community are looking forward to what you have planned next!

Take it easy, and good luck in your future endeavors.
1/10/2015 c1 Guest
When will you continue 'Words without a Voice'? I love that story and I haven't seen any updates for now half a year. I hope you can continue soon!
1/10/2015 c1 2Ideal Form
This story is Badass alreay. All i ask is you keep coby with that swag he has aka, hands in pockets when talking to chicks or getting serious, blank expression on face or scowl when hes serious or talking about something that is irritating , and cool rokushiki moves. Im loving the COBYXLUCY you got going im all for it. Just please NO HAREM PLEASE ALMOST EVERY CROSSOVER IS A HAREM NOW ITS BORING!.

Did i mention how amazing this story is so far?
1/7/2015 c1 ActionTReaction
Please tell me you didn't abandon this story, it's too good!
1/6/2015 c1 3Pagemaster96
Great start, but now I'm confused about if you plan to do Edolas arc or if that was just how you planned to get them there and leave it at that

Love the fight between Coby, Meppo and the phantom mages, I was surprised that Coby isn't too skilled with armament haki.

Already loving the story and can't wait for the next chapter

Sincerely, Pagemaster
12/31/2014 c1 jonjames427
i don't know if this is irrelevant but if coby and helmeppo were in some way to be give magical properties, i can see helmeppo with some type of wind magic and coby with some type of earth magic. helmeppo fights from the sky and coby fights on the ground. kind of like that tag team mercenary group from the book mission that was lucy's first.

also and just a thought. if seastone are a concentrated form of the sea, would they power up juvia like some sort of super battery.

and i don't know if this sounds rude but please don't pair lucy with coby or helmeppo. i don't know why i have these particular feelings regarding lucy, but they always seem negative. is it because almost half of the fairy tail fanfictions are about her and i don't like all this attention she is getting. is it her uses of sexual appeal in the form of comic seduction that just makes me shake my head in some form of disgust. it seems like either her herself or the fanbase makes her try too hard and to me it ends up making her fall on her face.

if anything i can see helmeppo in his personal time hanging out with max and laki if not with coby for some reason. for coby he can hang out with alzack and bisca because of their diligence. they just seem to be the most "responsible" and observant when not bickering about themselves and maybe coby can help them open up to one another like how luffy helped him open up. relationships can wait and depend on the course of the story which i will leave to you to set up.

though while i am at it i would like to propose a max/laki pairing option. my claim to this that their powers blend well together as seen in the clock filler and in some sick way of thinking and to satisfy max/broom shippers, she can make all the brooms max would like. she is said to be slightly sadistic.
12/26/2014 c1 Matt
Also any smart One Piece reader would know that Water Devil Fruit can't exist since water weakens them.
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