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for Mew: the rise of a new age

10/15/2016 c3 14PerParallel
What...? Well, that was... interesting to say in the least. I saw your name somewhere while reading a fanfic, so I thought: Why not? I saw your name and it did make me wonder: What would happen if Ash was in Alagaesia? Or Eragon is a Pokémon trainer (or stuck in the Pokémon world)? You gave me some stuff to think about... This story is pretty good.
1/5/2015 c2 6Pkmntrainereragon124
I know the first and second chapters were weird, but I'll keep working on it. I'll try to put more events into each chapter. Yes and I will work on proper grammer, though what you wrote didn't make a lot of sense to me
1/4/2015 c2 154Farla
So, there's not much here. The first chapter was a bad idea, because it means there's no real suspense here - the character's confused, but you've told the reader who Giovanni is, why he's there, and what's up with everything last chapter. Then this chapter, all that happens is he shows up and Mew appears - so, basically nothing. You haven't shown any actual events so far.

This should be your first chapter, and it should be the opening of that chapter. You should then keep writing and show what happens now that Giovanni and Mew have appeared, have some actual events giving people an idea of where the story's going, and only then end the chapter.
1/4/2015 c1 Farla
Capitalize your title properly.

Write out numbers with letters.

"Its" is possessive, "it's" means "it is."

["You say that mew has been trailing a child?"]

You're using it as a name here, so it's capitalized Mew. It's only if he was talking about "a mew" or "the mew" that it'd be capitalized as you've done here.

Dialogue is written as "Hello," she said or "Hello!" she said, never "Hello." She said or "Hello." she said or "Hello," She said or "Hello" she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn't contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it's written as "Hello." She grinned, never "Hello," she grinned or "Hello," She grinned or "Hello." she grinned. Note that something isn't a speech verb just because it's a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you're breaking up two complete sentences it's "Hi," she said. "This is it." not "Hi," she said, "this is it." or "Hi," she said "this is it." And if you're breaking up a sentence in the middle, it's "Hi. This," she said, "is it." The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don't use quotation marks with thoughts.

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