
3/9/2015 c3 Guest
cool
cool
3/1/2015 c1
37OpenUpPandora'sBoxOnlyIfYouDar
Okay, best idea ever! :-D :-D :-D Keep it up and Happy Story Weaving!
Liliana Dragonshard

Okay, best idea ever! :-D :-D :-D Keep it up and Happy Story Weaving!
Liliana Dragonshard
1/10/2015 c1 Wolf
Interesting this character Humphrey looks and sounds almost like me, keep the chapters coming I'd like to read more.
Interesting this character Humphrey looks and sounds almost like me, keep the chapters coming I'd like to read more.
1/9/2015 c1
1Amira Hayam
"an ability" instead of "Ability"
just a fact not really on the story, I just read up on wolves apparently they can only live up to 6-8 years, near urban places 13 years and in the wild 16 years.
*sigh* this is grammatically incorrect *imagines you're annoyed face* :D
You're doing comma splicing.
parents not Parents with a cap
friend's house not friends house or if plural friends' house
Colours have no caps
OK I can't be bothered to say every cap you do wrong...
*sigh* come one... it's easier saying "covering my left useless eye" then describing twice, besides how is it "useless"? Your character can still see with it, you might want to change it for the reason it didn't look good on his face.
Sensitive ears picked up - nicely descripted
Damn it! Cap on NOUNS! Kate's an name...
I not i
don't not dont
again on my own - Nice repetition
wait what? she goes onto to say about a dog? you could at least said "Kate stood silently having nothing to say after I didn't replied. She tried to come up with something and said..."
close not cleo
Reaction great for the growl but it's "Di-did" not "DI-did"
All not Al
"close and lock my door" it past tense so "closed and locked my door"
"I want to see your dog" kinda weird at first but great how you put her opinion strongly to make it less awkward
when writing a story don't use numbers unless it some kind of labelling system
*laughs* when the wind blows my hair out of my eye" *continues laughing* should be "when the wind blows my hair away from my left eye"
Story good
- writing could improve

"an ability" instead of "Ability"
just a fact not really on the story, I just read up on wolves apparently they can only live up to 6-8 years, near urban places 13 years and in the wild 16 years.
*sigh* this is grammatically incorrect *imagines you're annoyed face* :D
You're doing comma splicing.
parents not Parents with a cap
friend's house not friends house or if plural friends' house
Colours have no caps
OK I can't be bothered to say every cap you do wrong...
*sigh* come one... it's easier saying "covering my left useless eye" then describing twice, besides how is it "useless"? Your character can still see with it, you might want to change it for the reason it didn't look good on his face.
Sensitive ears picked up - nicely descripted
Damn it! Cap on NOUNS! Kate's an name...
I not i
don't not dont
again on my own - Nice repetition
wait what? she goes onto to say about a dog? you could at least said "Kate stood silently having nothing to say after I didn't replied. She tried to come up with something and said..."
close not cleo
Reaction great for the growl but it's "Di-did" not "DI-did"
All not Al
"close and lock my door" it past tense so "closed and locked my door"
"I want to see your dog" kinda weird at first but great how you put her opinion strongly to make it less awkward
when writing a story don't use numbers unless it some kind of labelling system
*laughs* when the wind blows my hair out of my eye" *continues laughing* should be "when the wind blows my hair away from my left eye"
Story good
- writing could improve
1/9/2015 c1 Guest
Loved it but please make the chapters longer and please make thi story last longer then like 6 chapters it sounds really interesting so please continues this story thanks it's just so awesome haha
Loved it but please make the chapters longer and please make thi story last longer then like 6 chapters it sounds really interesting so please continues this story thanks it's just so awesome haha