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4/27/2016 c1 102Razell
Very tense atmosphere and frightening. You give us just enough information (he's alone on a cruise ship with 'them') to let us get a vague idea of what's going on, but nothing more, which makes it even more frightening. Is the ship headed for port, full of Things? Is the little girl one? Is there a giant creature just waiting to burst through the floor and get them? You don't even really tell us if the agent is male or female. I just say 'he' because at one point the narrator says 'man' in relation to himself, still, it could very well be a woman. It's a small snippet of a much larger story, I think that's brilliant. We have to imagine the circumstances, supply the details.

Even the ending is ambiguous, is it even real? (By the way, I'm not asking you for answers to these questions, just stating several of the mysteries involved.)

We get to supply our own answers to the mystery, and that gives the reader some power over the story.

I'm surprised, and saddened, that you've gotten so few comments. I've seen stories that were utter trash that have hundreds of comments, but the real talent goes unnoticed by most.

Excellent work.
1/15/2015 c1 23Nikkette
Nice job, I can really feel the sense of urgency here ;)

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