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for Crushing (on) the Lotus

1/15/2015 c1 NotUrAverage
Keep up the awesome writing! Can't wait for the next chapter!
When does Ren come in?
1/15/2015 c1 luca grae
Oh my gosh, I almost thought this was another oneshot (like most of the recently published Renora on the site) but it looks like we've got a long ways to go with this fic!

Great story, I loved your sense of humor and the tragedy of Nora's past - as well as letting some of her sass/humor peek through the timidness. I really like what you have here and will be following this story eagerly, awaiting Ren's arrival and how they'll grow up together!
1/15/2015 c1 workeranomalie
Nice Story so far.
Looking foward for Ren's part :)
1/15/2015 c1 8Hysterical Clerical Hijinks
I like it. The idea of Nora as a little spit-fire growing up is fitting.
1/14/2015 c1 5Numbnut10
First, a congratulations for sticking to the colors as names theme. I especially liked the names Zinc and Pho(sphorus). You're clearly dedicated, and it shows through your works. Next, I really liked how you used 'pretty' and 'poofy' to describe the clouds. It gives the day a whimsical atmosphere that suits Nora's childlike perspective. You packed so much emotion into this chapter. I really enjoyed seeing the story from Nora's point of view, and then Ms. Neon's point of view. I can tell they're going to be great friends.

C(onstructive)C(ritcism): It didn't feel appropriate for Ms. Neon to describe Honey as a bitch. There were less severe words you could have chosen. Also, you used common words like "frown" and "said" a little too often. In future chapters, I would crack open a thesaurus and replace as many instances of "cry" and "smile" with more diverse words.

Thanks for the pleasurable read, you've got yourself a favorite.
1/14/2015 c1 Guest
Hahahaha! I can see little Nora doing that! Keep up the good work!
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