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5/29/2020 c5 1DemonWolf25
This is pretty good, did life get in the way? hopefully this will be finished one day...
7/23/2015 c5 belladu57
Very good
3/24/2015 c5 3Nameless Angel 00
Wow she's taking all this in surprisingly well.
3/9/2015 c5 Dragonmaster789
Another awesome chapter _
3/6/2015 c4 Dragonmaster789
Awesome chapter please continue
2/9/2015 c1 auntvodkacat
Okay then, you're today's winner of the "let's look at this random story" sweepstakes!
My feelings toward this story are a little biased because I'm not a huge fan of the original, but my love of ultimate and the manga lets me appreciate it simply by virtue of relation alone.
Your descriptions of characters suffer a bit from costuming porn (just go a bit over board, we don't need to know everything they're wearing) and are kinda awkward in general. The way you established the whole two jobs and school thing was really rushed. I think if you just slowed down and took some more time to establish your OC (I hate doing it too, but it is a necessary evil) and with maybe a scene or two with her just living her ordinary life will make her more relatable and sympathetic.
Your grammar and syntax were pretty good. I didn't see anything that drove me crazy (I'm a member of millennium, by the way, commander of the grammar department). Your language is a bit dry though, so you may want to freshen it up with a simile or a metaphor here and there ( don't go crazy and get all purple prose on me, though.).
All in all, I give this an optimistic 5.5 out of 10, though I'm sure with some retooling you can pull a six or seven. Not fantastic, but not bad by any means. I'm interested in seeing what you do with it.
1/25/2015 c2 3MajesticHippo
Hi again. Hope you keep updating :P good work so far. Am interested in seeing what changes will be made to the Hellsing Universe, usually the trap that authors fall into when they replace a characters is the OC just does everything the same. Fingers cross you can overcome this challenge. As for nicknames...Im not to good at them but maybe something like "Kitten". Because Alucard just thinks she is a pathetic as a kitten with her 'baby' fangs and her struggles to fight? Just a suggestion see you next chapter :)
1/25/2015 c2 Dragonmaster789
Awesome story keep up the awesome work _
1/25/2015 c1 MajesticHippo
I am interested to see where this story is heading,though I am a little confused. Has Freya replaced Victoria completely of does Victoria still exist?Anyway hope you continue this story soon. :)

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