for It Hurts Us4/28/2015 c11 Guest
Aww too bad. It was getting good.
Aww too bad. It was getting good.
4/22/2015 c11 
70YellowAngela
You should continue to write. Your writing is getting better and you left this at a cliffhanger. I understand about being busy but where there is a will there is a way. Hope you decide to continue.
70YellowAngelaYou should continue to write. Your writing is getting better and you left this at a cliffhanger. I understand about being busy but where there is a will there is a way. Hope you decide to continue.
4/1/2015 c10 YellowAngela
It is really short. I'm not sure what I can say about it except that it's interesting that White could be bribed. I hope the last chapter wraps everything up.
It is really short. I'm not sure what I can say about it except that it's interesting that White could be bribed. I hope the last chapter wraps everything up.
3/29/2015 c9 Guest
What happens next? Come on! Don't leave us hanging.
What happens next? Come on! Don't leave us hanging.
3/26/2015 c4 fanaticagenrex
Es un poco confuso todo, me parece raro que Van K deje que Rex esté así de libre por su castillo, digo, sin tanta vigilancia, pero me gusta
Es un poco confuso todo, me parece raro que Van K deje que Rex esté así de libre por su castillo, digo, sin tanta vigilancia, pero me gusta
3/13/2015 c9 70YellowAngela
You're getting better with descriptions and plots. There are still some grammar/spelling errors and some parts that I was confused by. But overall not bad.
70YellowAngelaYou're getting better with descriptions and plots. There are still some grammar/spelling errors and some parts that I was confused by. But overall not bad.
3/4/2015 c7 YellowAngela
I had to log out to leave a review. Apparently, I had already left one and it won't let me leave one. That was pretty exciting. Although I'm a little confused. How does Knight know that Alpha is Lynx?
I had to log out to leave a review. Apparently, I had already left one and it won't let me leave one. That was pretty exciting. Although I'm a little confused. How does Knight know that Alpha is Lynx?
2/17/2015 c1 Anonymous
I love the idea alpha is my 3rd favorite villain in the series (2. Zag-rs and 1. Van kleiss) so I can't wait to read it
I love the idea alpha is my 3rd favorite villain in the series (2. Zag-rs and 1. Van kleiss) so I can't wait to read it
2/9/2015 c1 5theWriterunknown
Your writing does need some work- but hey, that's normal. Not one writer could say that they got everything perfect and award-winning the first time, and as the old saying goes, practice makes perfect. I really like the ideas you got going on there- I find it humorous that VK's castle has a kitchen, serving food that's actually edible, like pizza and soda. And that VK keeps forgetting your character's name...-what was it again by the way? XD just kidding.
That being said, I have to suggest that you space paragraphs more often; like when a different person starts to speak, when a new idea is introduced, or the "camera" of the story changes- your writing will sound a lot less jumbled if you do this.
You need to proofread your work more often, and space it where it gets jumbled to get a better view on it. Especially when you’re writing you're dialog and "action" scenes. Also, you seem to move a little too quickly so be sure that you practice, and try to be more descriptive. Other than that, you’re pretty good :-). Take all the time that you need before you decide to get back to it. That last message you have seems to be going through some technical problems.
PS: You don’t have to listen to me at all. You’re the writer to this work, not me. Sorry if I was overstepping in any way!
5theWriterunknownYour writing does need some work- but hey, that's normal. Not one writer could say that they got everything perfect and award-winning the first time, and as the old saying goes, practice makes perfect. I really like the ideas you got going on there- I find it humorous that VK's castle has a kitchen, serving food that's actually edible, like pizza and soda. And that VK keeps forgetting your character's name...-what was it again by the way? XD just kidding.
That being said, I have to suggest that you space paragraphs more often; like when a different person starts to speak, when a new idea is introduced, or the "camera" of the story changes- your writing will sound a lot less jumbled if you do this.
You need to proofread your work more often, and space it where it gets jumbled to get a better view on it. Especially when you’re writing you're dialog and "action" scenes. Also, you seem to move a little too quickly so be sure that you practice, and try to be more descriptive. Other than that, you’re pretty good :-). Take all the time that you need before you decide to get back to it. That last message you have seems to be going through some technical problems.
PS: You don’t have to listen to me at all. You’re the writer to this work, not me. Sorry if I was overstepping in any way!
2/9/2015 c7 70YellowAngela
Okay, take your time but for some reason there's formatting problems on your message.
70YellowAngelaOkay, take your time but for some reason there's formatting problems on your message.