for Gogyo no Naruto(DISCONTINUED BEING REVISED)9/24/2018 c27 fictionelement777
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!Not another good story restart AGAIN!
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!Not another good story restart AGAIN!
9/16/2018 c4 brodylopa
Why do people use Japanese When writing in English it kinda runes the flow of the story not knowing the names of the moves till the end of the chapter kinda irritating
Why do people use Japanese When writing in English it kinda runes the flow of the story not knowing the names of the moves till the end of the chapter kinda irritating
8/28/2018 c27 jeracuda
you should rewrite this AN an tell the truth. In simpler terms you're going to be a complete an total fucking dick and forget all about this story while focusing on new stories until you get bored with those and then start even MORE stories an keep repeating the process until you finally quit writing all together
you should rewrite this AN an tell the truth. In simpler terms you're going to be a complete an total fucking dick and forget all about this story while focusing on new stories until you get bored with those and then start even MORE stories an keep repeating the process until you finally quit writing all together
8/25/2018 c26 LordofTerror
not even going to review chapter 27 since I read it's a waste of space Author's Note. taking your own grading scale I'll give you a C- maybe a solid D it was just so damn OOC to have 6 year olds doing what they do if they where older it'd be another subject but 6 unnecessary and over the top then you really took it for a loop when they all left and you brought out all of this random super powered item or move that just ruined the story.
not even going to review chapter 27 since I read it's a waste of space Author's Note. taking your own grading scale I'll give you a C- maybe a solid D it was just so damn OOC to have 6 year olds doing what they do if they where older it'd be another subject but 6 unnecessary and over the top then you really took it for a loop when they all left and you brought out all of this random super powered item or move that just ruined the story.
8/16/2018 c1 AdriLAAAxo
Boy, this story sucks guacafuckin dicks. There’s a general idea but overall it’s repeating, and plain. also...THEY ARE ONLY 6! 6 I TELL YOU, 6! THEY ARE ALL ACTING SO OC ITS JUST SAD. Very sad. Haven’t you watched the anime? What the fuck is wrong with you? This story makes me want to hit myself. I want to hit myself for continuing this story. It’s far too plain for my tastes. Go and get a Beta. Edit this story and the characters.
Boy, this story sucks guacafuckin dicks. There’s a general idea but overall it’s repeating, and plain. also...THEY ARE ONLY 6! 6 I TELL YOU, 6! THEY ARE ALL ACTING SO OC ITS JUST SAD. Very sad. Haven’t you watched the anime? What the fuck is wrong with you? This story makes me want to hit myself. I want to hit myself for continuing this story. It’s far too plain for my tastes. Go and get a Beta. Edit this story and the characters.
8/14/2018 c1 
4Zabzab
Holly. Cow.
This is BAD. your writing is BAD. First, remove all instance of this ridiculous chichi-ue by father. The same with the letter and sochi. This is utterly ridiculous. Mix it if you will, to show endearment but do not overuse it. You're writing in english for Pete's sake.
Second, it's emotionless. It's dry. I felt nothing as I read this chapter. You need to be way, way, WAY more descriptive of the feelings of your characters. When Naruto see a photo of his parents for the first time, WHAT. DOES. HE. FEEL? I should be tearing up here but I don't care.
Third, jezzus, man (or girl as far as I know), Naruto can be a mature kid but he is SIX. I was a mature kid at six but my vocabulary is certainly not the same as it is now that I'm more than 20. Your dialogs are PAINFUL to read because of those two points. Plus, they are fucking blocks of text, which is made that much worse because of the emotionless-ness.
Stop writing, read some books and go back to it.
4ZabzabHolly. Cow.
This is BAD. your writing is BAD. First, remove all instance of this ridiculous chichi-ue by father. The same with the letter and sochi. This is utterly ridiculous. Mix it if you will, to show endearment but do not overuse it. You're writing in english for Pete's sake.
Second, it's emotionless. It's dry. I felt nothing as I read this chapter. You need to be way, way, WAY more descriptive of the feelings of your characters. When Naruto see a photo of his parents for the first time, WHAT. DOES. HE. FEEL? I should be tearing up here but I don't care.
Third, jezzus, man (or girl as far as I know), Naruto can be a mature kid but he is SIX. I was a mature kid at six but my vocabulary is certainly not the same as it is now that I'm more than 20. Your dialogs are PAINFUL to read because of those two points. Plus, they are fucking blocks of text, which is made that much worse because of the emotionless-ness.
Stop writing, read some books and go back to it.
8/9/2018 c3 Guest
This whole story is too convenient for my tastes
This whole story is too convenient for my tastes
8/5/2018 c5 Guest
no lo soporto mas es HORRIBLE la mezcla de ingles y japones a tal punto que es increiblemente molesto de leer, la historia es buena pero esa mezla ingles-japones la hace molesta de leer con todo el Ne y Hai
no lo soporto mas es HORRIBLE la mezcla de ingles y japones a tal punto que es increiblemente molesto de leer, la historia es buena pero esa mezla ingles-japones la hace molesta de leer con todo el Ne y Hai
8/5/2018 c2 Guest
DIOOOS deja de mezclar ingles y japones queda horrible
DIOOOS deja de mezclar ingles y japones queda horrible
8/7/2018 c2 RandomSomething
Alright, I really like this already. Naruto has friends and a team of Anbu at his back plus the Third fully supports him and he has access to his mother and father's knowledge and has already spoke to the Kyūbi. Things seem to be looking up for my pal Naruto in this one!
I hope to see Naruto wield his mother's swords and his father's techniques, and Kyūbi' s abilities to their full potential.
The only thing bad I can say is the typical grammar bits, fanfic's doc uploader loves to fuck up author's works
Alright, I really like this already. Naruto has friends and a team of Anbu at his back plus the Third fully supports him and he has access to his mother and father's knowledge and has already spoke to the Kyūbi. Things seem to be looking up for my pal Naruto in this one!
I hope to see Naruto wield his mother's swords and his father's techniques, and Kyūbi' s abilities to their full potential.
The only thing bad I can say is the typical grammar bits, fanfic's doc uploader loves to fuck up author's works
8/6/2018 c1 RandomSomething
I want to leave a better review but I really wanna read the next chapter so... I'll review after I read a couple more chapters
I want to leave a better review but I really wanna read the next chapter so... I'll review after I read a couple more chapters
8/6/2018 c27 marquis.shax
you should've put this at the start or end of a new chapter as an authors note rather than making everyone think you'd actually put up a new chapter an instead find it's just a spam post about a new story
you should've put this at the start or end of a new chapter as an authors note rather than making everyone think you'd actually put up a new chapter an instead find it's just a spam post about a new story
7/31/2018 c1 1DragonBall Shin
anyone else feel like the Japanese titles for people like Minato and Kushina feel a lil heavy handed
1DragonBall Shinanyone else feel like the Japanese titles for people like Minato and Kushina feel a lil heavy handed