for Five Nights At Freddy's: Another Side4/23/2015 c4 akzerg
Pls continue this story. Albeit I was a little hesitant to read this fic cause I've only played the game once and got fucked by Freddy on the first night. Yeah I know what you're thinking "who the fuck dies on the first night?" Well in my defence my friend forced me to play and I didn't see the instructions. But anyway I'm getting off topic. Don't stop writing I've seen your other fics and I love it including this one, so please don't abandon this fic.
P.S I think Dustin's last name (in my opinion) should be Hoffer .what cha think? Pm me I have an account same as this one Akzerg. Well bye
Pls continue this story. Albeit I was a little hesitant to read this fic cause I've only played the game once and got fucked by Freddy on the first night. Yeah I know what you're thinking "who the fuck dies on the first night?" Well in my defence my friend forced me to play and I didn't see the instructions. But anyway I'm getting off topic. Don't stop writing I've seen your other fics and I love it including this one, so please don't abandon this fic.
P.S I think Dustin's last name (in my opinion) should be Hoffer .what cha think? Pm me I have an account same as this one Akzerg. Well bye
4/7/2015 c5 Guest
Wow good chapter also why does foxys voice box have to be broken it could have been glitched and its starting to get intense
Wow good chapter also why does foxys voice box have to be broken it could have been glitched and its starting to get intense
3/25/2015 c5 Rosco Peeko Trane
So I randomly came across this and was about to just ignore it when I thought to myself "Wait a minute...I know this author" and decided I'd give a look see. It's kinda strange that you were able to somehow make such an interesting AU story like this with this series. I'm actually very eager to find out what happens next.
Only thing that gets me is Foxy's reaction when she first sees Dustin. It doesn't take much more than a brain dead monkey to tell what the pairing for this is going to be. The clues were pretty obvious from the first chapter. So her reaction to 'his body' and whatnot honestly seemed pretty contrived and unnecessary. In fact, it seemed like you were trying to rush the feelings too much here. I get that Foxy would have a bit of a different reaction to him than most considering what she's been through. Obviously she's seeking companionship and she's so desperate for it at this point that she's willing to cling to just about anything to achieve it. But that's what should be focused on and fleshed out first; friendship. Her attraction to him should then be built up from there as opposed to just shoving it down our throats without any real build up to it.
Sorry if I sound harsh. I'm just a stickler for characterization. Everything to that point was fine. It was just her reaction that felt very out of place and illogical. Consistency is what makes or breaks good characterization. The thing about good characterization isn't really about what type of character it is, but about said characters remaining consistent in their actions or reactions. And if they seem to diverge off the path that their characterization would generally dictate they take, then there needs to be justification. In this case, I saw "All I want is a friend" turn into "I have extreme physical attraction to this human" without any real context to transition the sudden development properly and make it believable. Of course, she isn't in love with him yet obviously. But having her just suddenly acknowledge her attraction to him like that just doesn't seem realistic. You're better off building this up after they decide to become friends by having them simply fall into accidental scenarios that cause them to become more aware of each other as a straight male and female than they would have been otherwise. THAT'S when the attraction starts.
Thankfully, if history is not lying to me, you're someone who takes constructive criticism in a very positive manner. Whether you find any use to this constructive criticism is up to you. However I'm very much looking forward to where this is taken from here on out.
So I randomly came across this and was about to just ignore it when I thought to myself "Wait a minute...I know this author" and decided I'd give a look see. It's kinda strange that you were able to somehow make such an interesting AU story like this with this series. I'm actually very eager to find out what happens next.
Only thing that gets me is Foxy's reaction when she first sees Dustin. It doesn't take much more than a brain dead monkey to tell what the pairing for this is going to be. The clues were pretty obvious from the first chapter. So her reaction to 'his body' and whatnot honestly seemed pretty contrived and unnecessary. In fact, it seemed like you were trying to rush the feelings too much here. I get that Foxy would have a bit of a different reaction to him than most considering what she's been through. Obviously she's seeking companionship and she's so desperate for it at this point that she's willing to cling to just about anything to achieve it. But that's what should be focused on and fleshed out first; friendship. Her attraction to him should then be built up from there as opposed to just shoving it down our throats without any real build up to it.
Sorry if I sound harsh. I'm just a stickler for characterization. Everything to that point was fine. It was just her reaction that felt very out of place and illogical. Consistency is what makes or breaks good characterization. The thing about good characterization isn't really about what type of character it is, but about said characters remaining consistent in their actions or reactions. And if they seem to diverge off the path that their characterization would generally dictate they take, then there needs to be justification. In this case, I saw "All I want is a friend" turn into "I have extreme physical attraction to this human" without any real context to transition the sudden development properly and make it believable. Of course, she isn't in love with him yet obviously. But having her just suddenly acknowledge her attraction to him like that just doesn't seem realistic. You're better off building this up after they decide to become friends by having them simply fall into accidental scenarios that cause them to become more aware of each other as a straight male and female than they would have been otherwise. THAT'S when the attraction starts.
Thankfully, if history is not lying to me, you're someone who takes constructive criticism in a very positive manner. Whether you find any use to this constructive criticism is up to you. However I'm very much looking forward to where this is taken from here on out.
3/17/2015 c5 FireDragon
Im really enjoying the story so far, and Id like to give you a few ideas to help with your next chapter.
1. mention the Purple Guy and/or SpringTrap soon, or they could be actual characters
2. there should be a fight scene with Chica or Bonnie against Foxy
3. the hallucinations would help add horror to this story
4. Dustin could have the last name Bishop, or Young
just suggestions, you don't have to add them to the story. Keep up the good work! I see potential!
Im really enjoying the story so far, and Id like to give you a few ideas to help with your next chapter.
1. mention the Purple Guy and/or SpringTrap soon, or they could be actual characters
2. there should be a fight scene with Chica or Bonnie against Foxy
3. the hallucinations would help add horror to this story
4. Dustin could have the last name Bishop, or Young
just suggestions, you don't have to add them to the story. Keep up the good work! I see potential!
3/11/2015 c5 Johnny Cash55
This is a fantastic story you've got don't give keep at it cause I'm loving this story.
This is a fantastic story you've got don't give keep at it cause I'm loving this story.
3/11/2015 c5 wolf
good starter but to really get a good amount of reviews and follows need longer chapters and more how far you planning on takeing the story?
good starter but to really get a good amount of reviews and follows need longer chapters and more how far you planning on takeing the story?
3/9/2015 c5 Detective Sora Skye
I agree with the previous review, your doing good and please don't give up on this writing because it saddens me that a number of stories with good storylines get abandoned or go for long peroids of time without updates. So as I said keep up the good work and I will wait patiently for the next update.
I agree with the previous review, your doing good and please don't give up on this writing because it saddens me that a number of stories with good storylines get abandoned or go for long peroids of time without updates. So as I said keep up the good work and I will wait patiently for the next update.
3/9/2015 c5 BloodDragonKing
To tell the truth your doing a good job on this i like your style of writing and the story of it so far and that's a good thing most fanfictions that i see are just badly so i think your doing a good job of it but also don't give up on this fanfic i don't see a lot of good fanfics but most that i do are either discontinued or put up for adoption for others to write but it would not be the same so just keep up the great work and don't abandon it(and maybe put a few more maybe longer chapters) :)
To tell the truth your doing a good job on this i like your style of writing and the story of it so far and that's a good thing most fanfictions that i see are just badly so i think your doing a good job of it but also don't give up on this fanfic i don't see a lot of good fanfics but most that i do are either discontinued or put up for adoption for others to write but it would not be the same so just keep up the great work and don't abandon it(and maybe put a few more maybe longer chapters) :)
3/9/2015 c5 
10ultima-owner
Fnaf 3 revealed some interesting things, like how the killer died and how the suits cound be warn. The killer's death was so ironic.
10ultima-ownerFnaf 3 revealed some interesting things, like how the killer died and how the suits cound be warn. The killer's death was so ironic.
3/8/2015 c5 TheGrunt22
Oh dear me: I'm late for my shift! Sorry about the dramatic slowness of a response; for this and the chapter before it! I've been rather... really really buzy! Sorry! Forgive meeeeee!
Animatronics have been getting smarter lately, haven't they? With those new designs, someone over at management is having quite an eyeful at trying to market to new people. I admit, the running around part and crawling around in the vents were very entertaining to read; camping animatronics make everything harder!
Freddy's up to something. Who knows what it could be? I just wonder who else is lurking around...that puppet namely...
Coming close to the brink of death in a flight or fight adrenaline rush is something one's mind will be looping in your mind over and over. I can testify to that.
Yeah. It just took a very personal turn pretty darn quick there!
Like with the last chapter, one must wonder just what's still inside the animatronics if all they can play is the screams they have been since 1987. The souls of the dead children still? Decayed bodies? Who knows!
And now the third game just came out on top of that! Scott is indeed on a roll and it's just as great as ever! Having beat it myself, after many deaths to Springtrap and numerous jump scares, I'm very quite surprised at how it all turned out, but I won't spoil anything in the comments section. Dunno if you'll be incorporating anything from it into here, but I'm fine with anything lol. Only you know, lol.
Well! With all that said, excellent work as pre always! Don't ever really need to critic you on spelling and grammar since you obviously have that down to a tee. Keep it up and see you so-
Odd. Who turned off all the lights? I didn't forget to pay the electric bill again did I-oh my Lord, what's that?!
WAAAA DUN, DUN, DA DUM DA DEA DUM! DA DEA DU-
*thud*
*thud*
...
...
SSSCCCCCCRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Oh dear me: I'm late for my shift! Sorry about the dramatic slowness of a response; for this and the chapter before it! I've been rather... really really buzy! Sorry! Forgive meeeeee!
Animatronics have been getting smarter lately, haven't they? With those new designs, someone over at management is having quite an eyeful at trying to market to new people. I admit, the running around part and crawling around in the vents were very entertaining to read; camping animatronics make everything harder!
Freddy's up to something. Who knows what it could be? I just wonder who else is lurking around...that puppet namely...
Coming close to the brink of death in a flight or fight adrenaline rush is something one's mind will be looping in your mind over and over. I can testify to that.
Yeah. It just took a very personal turn pretty darn quick there!
Like with the last chapter, one must wonder just what's still inside the animatronics if all they can play is the screams they have been since 1987. The souls of the dead children still? Decayed bodies? Who knows!
And now the third game just came out on top of that! Scott is indeed on a roll and it's just as great as ever! Having beat it myself, after many deaths to Springtrap and numerous jump scares, I'm very quite surprised at how it all turned out, but I won't spoil anything in the comments section. Dunno if you'll be incorporating anything from it into here, but I'm fine with anything lol. Only you know, lol.
Well! With all that said, excellent work as pre always! Don't ever really need to critic you on spelling and grammar since you obviously have that down to a tee. Keep it up and see you so-
Odd. Who turned off all the lights? I didn't forget to pay the electric bill again did I-oh my Lord, what's that?!
WAAAA DUN, DUN, DA DUM DA DEA DUM! DA DEA DU-
*thud*
*thud*
...
...
SSSCCCCCCRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
3/8/2015 c5 Guest
Can't wait for more, keep it up its starting to get to the best bits !
Can't wait for more, keep it up its starting to get to the best bits !
3/3/2015 c4 Detective Sora Skye
I think your on to something with this storyline. Keep up the good work.
I think your on to something with this storyline. Keep up the good work.