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for The Digimon Story Collection

12/22/2018 c8 Guest
I'm so glad soneone write something for Sayo and Koh
8/23/2017 c34 18NeoAmyJogress
This was interesting. I like it and it wasn't really disturbing at all. Kari and Koichi interacting is new for me personally but I did enjoy it. Your writing has improved plenty from the last time I read your work. Koichi being a demon from hell is interesting considering he represents pure darkness and all. Kari was interesting.
6/7/2017 c34 42KumoFuzei
A strange setting but it had a lot of humorous dialogue and I really got quiet into it despite not really understanding what I was getting in to.
Improvements wise I would suggest that it's very very speech heavy. You offer us barely any insight into their expressions, feelings or thoughts.
6/7/2017 c28 KumoFuzei
Varied vocab choice and some good grammar. Speech is a definite strong point with high believability and a little injected humour.
A very interesting story that I definitely wanted to see more of.
3/9/2017 c17 8MF217
I feel like I'm missing some context here, but at the same time I'm familiar enough with the latest games to at least partially make out what's going on here. So this Rina is being shipped with an alternate Davis from the one we know from 02, primarily due to the fact that Rina herself is, well, from an alternate verse herself.

The overall chapter is good, don't get me wrong, but I feel like Rina's kind of being a little bit of a prick towards the others in the beginning half of the chapter. That could just be who she is like in the games, even then, but all things considered she was much nicer in the second half. I don't recall V.V. needing to Bio-emerge with Rina to achieve UlforceV-dramon, though. Was that something you did solely for this story, or...?
3/8/2017 c25 17duskrider
interesting first time I read this pairing and just got the idea to do so and look up to see if there were any out there already via google.
11/28/2016 c30 58DigiConjurer
Well that was interesting.
10/12/2016 c28 DigiConjurer
Uh... Why does Phelesmon have a pitchfork in his stomach?
8/17/2016 c27 440cornholio4
Awesome, like to see Davis shipping
8/6/2016 c19 42KumoFuzei
What a weird combo, haha.
I like how even though it's something so human you related it to their actual bodies, mentioning Yggdrasill's eye piece and such.
It was also quite funny to have them humanised.
7/25/2016 c10 211ChloboShoka
Hey there, found you through the Pokewrite forum and noticed you were the last person to post on the review tag so I thought I would try and carry it on. I really like storie collections like this because if you have any random bursts of inspiration but nowhere to put it in, then you can write a drabble or short fic for it. Sora/Joe is a pairing I've never considered, but now after reading this, I think it would be a cute pairing. I wouldn't consider it an OTP, but I think it's quite a nice ship now.

The only thing I'm not so sure about is calling Sora ginger, I've always considered her as a brunette. I really like the dialogue though it's very funny. Especially with Sora and Joe getting stoned. They're the last two I would imagine to get high on drugs. Sorta reminded me of my trip to Amsterdam and especially the Red Light District where it stunk of weed and sex.

Biyomon and Gomamon were wise to leave. I really enjoyed this cracktastic story.
7/20/2016 c18 42KumoFuzei
Haha, this was a cute little chapter with a funny concept. Such a good little oneshot.
7/20/2016 c15 KumoFuzei
Squeezing in another one or two.
You ramble a lot at the start in those first three paragraphs. Not all of it adds to the theme you're creating for the chapter. You could probably cut about a paragraph of it and still keep the general meaning.
Starting three consecutive paragraphs with "In one realized timeline" may seem like a good way to link the three but it just reads repetitively and incites boredom. Also, the first two also have "the warrior siblings". I feel there's a way you could explain the three parallels without keeping it so bland.
It has a very Doctor Who feel, mentioning a time war and such.
Again, this reads passively. You could have her thoughts while she's battling and throw us into some action to garner interest but you talk about a crazy battle as something to be ignored while discussing philosophy.
"Excised out. Woven in. Excised out. Woven in. Excised out. Woven in. Excised out. Woven in. Excised out. Woven in. Excised out. Woven in. Excised out. Woven in. Excised out. Woven in. Excised out. Woven in. Excised out. Woven in. Excised out. Woven in. Excised out. Woven in. Excised out. Woven in. Excised out. Woven in. Excised out. Woven in. Excised out. Woven in. Excised out. Woven in. Excised out. Woven in. Excised out. Woven in. Excised out. Woven in. Excised out. Woven in. Excised out. Woven in. Excised out. Woven in. Excised out. Woven in. Excised out. Woven in. Excised out. Woven in. Excised out. Woven in. Excised out. Woven in." Blergh. Too much. It reads like beefed out word count. Could you not say. And, continually, it was excised out and then woven back in. Or something to that nature.
An interesting fic with a great concept but I feel like you didn't put enough into it to really make it great. It was a good read with strong spelling and grammar, but lacking a little in that immersive factor.
7/20/2016 c14 KumoFuzei
Skipped a few to find a short chapter to squeeze in before I'm off out.
I have no idea what diveds is. Is it a word? Oh, lmao. I just realised. Dives.
Saying the kitsune without prior explanation of who is confusing. Introduce the character and then use pronouns.
"Renamon resists the urge to roll her eyes at their antics. ..." Unneeded ellipsis. And the follow up one in Renamon's speech is also unnecessary.
It reads really passively which takes a lot away from the story. I don't feel immersed in that respect.
7/19/2016 c10 KumoFuzei
A really short chapter here. I feel like this was drawn from your own experience :P

While it did get a bit more wild than I'm used to in terms of being high, it was a quirky read that I enjoyed. The prose had strong grammar and spelling but there isn't really enough of it to judge it based on much else and as they're high, it's difficult to decide if they're in character. It is lacking in description of the area but the description of the cards falling was quite nice.
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