for The Horrid Adventures of James Sunderland3/31/2015 c1 laughing jill
dear god, this is the third time ive read this, forgetting that it ends here and im starting to go a bit mad. this has a fantastic looking summary, but I need to find out what happens next (fingers crossed for SMUT)
dear god, this is the third time ive read this, forgetting that it ends here and im starting to go a bit mad. this has a fantastic looking summary, but I need to find out what happens next (fingers crossed for SMUT)
3/8/2015 c1 
49Alan Spencer
Oh God Why
As for constructive criticism... The prose is dry, the descriptions are lacking, writing sound effects is in poor taste in my opinion, this is written in first person so you cant just randomly put some of James thoughts in cursive since this is supposed to be narrated by James so the narration is all James thoughts. Also, why the fuck does James refer to Pyramid Head as The Executioner while in the previous paragraph he gets its name right?
49Alan SpencerOh God Why
As for constructive criticism... The prose is dry, the descriptions are lacking, writing sound effects is in poor taste in my opinion, this is written in first person so you cant just randomly put some of James thoughts in cursive since this is supposed to be narrated by James so the narration is all James thoughts. Also, why the fuck does James refer to Pyramid Head as The Executioner while in the previous paragraph he gets its name right?