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for Becoming an Exorcist in 20-ish Easy Steps!

5/10/2015 c4 Guest
I am going to point out mistake in your profil first causeit irritates me to no end when people spell Ciel's name wrong. Even when the name is spelledout before them, some get it wrong. It' no L. Also, Grell calls Sebastian "Sebas-chan". Do you know nothing of the Kuro universe?

Go look up JustZoni's How To Write Kuroshitsuji Fanfiction or her Basic Guide To Writng fanfiction. They are extremily helpful in writing fanfiction,and you need it given all the Mary Sue filth you keep putting up. You'll have to ask her about part one of the Kuro guide to see if she still hs it though. It has amazing tips on keep the charactes IC, something else you can't do. You need it. (JustZoni can be found on tumblr or deviant art. Just type her name in Google search and you'll find her. Also, Grell soul mate is William as stated by Yana herself. Yana also supports Sebastian x Ciel, not Lizzie x Ciel. Lizzie is used as comedic relief even if she had one cool moment. Plus the incest, not a major fan of such. Sorry, had to get it out of my system. Bad day of users attacking you for pairing choices.)

And now I am on your story. Learn character development. Your Sues are grating, and you don't have any form of story structure. that's important to making a good story. Have you read K.M. Weiland's story structure advice? No? Well I also recommend her. She is a best selling author with some amazing tips in structure and character arcs.

A Mary Sue Litmus Test is also handy in testing how well developed your OC is or if they are a sue. Now, the test can only help develop them, it means jack when actual story comes in. No stealing spotlight, or pairing them off. Mind the naming and keep yourself out of the haracter. Bits and pieces like favorite type of music is alright but more than small insigificant things is Sue all over.

Now, I know you probably feel hurt, and think this is a flame, but apart from my mini rant at you for spelling mistakes, and pairing dislikes (when you are attacked by so many that hate your pair in one day, you'd feel like ranting a bit too.), the rest is honest, maybe a bit blunt, criticism. It's there to help you mprove in your writing so that your stories become better and more enjoyable to readers like me. You don't have to take it, that just means you don't care about improving your skills as a writer.

I do hope you aren't like those egotistics who either turn their nose up at criticism and ignore it, or have their readers attack the person for daring to give it. Its sick how they do that, and makes you want to smack them for such behavior. If you can't take criticism you shouldn't be posting online, basically. Sorry ranting again.

I hope this helps you improve. Both authors I mentioned can be found through Google. And again I apologize for my mini rants, bad day needed to vent a bit.

Alo, I recommend Date A Live. Oh my gods it is halarious.
4/18/2015 c3 Hail
Wanna meet a real Demon?
4/14/2015 c1 Lea.Wolfsfeld
As a Lea, I find this amusing.
3/29/2015 c2 Guest
This is the first fic I've read where the twins have a sister and she has a bow. This is the first fic I've read that includes a bow. Very intertesting and unique. But, I wouldn't think a bow would be the best choice for a demonic weapon, unless I imagined it wrong. It would take a bit for Lea to string the bow for a fight. I'm not saying a bow isn't a good choice, but what if the quiver we're to be the source of her demonic powers? Or, what her demonic powers were sealed in. Whenever she grabs an arrow, her demonic powers show, but the whole powers thing would kind of get messed up. So, I guess a bow wouldn't be the best weapon for an AU like this, but who you could make it work. Anyways, I liked this fic so far and I hope you update sometime after Easter or soon. Thank you. ;-D
3/5/2015 c1 210 IGN
Steps not clear enough. Ended up with my dick in the ceiling fan. Where did the dick come from?
2/14/2015 c1 3Anahhzp
This is one of the most ordinary types of fics from AoE, but the way you write makes it seems completely different, and this is simply fantastic. Keep it up!

By the way, when you say Lea Universe, it means that you have some fics with this same OC?
2/14/2015 c1 justaislinn
She she knew about rin because she sees demons like yukio. But she wanted nothing to do with becoming an exorcist. I'm not quite sure how that worked out. If she's related to rin, she's gonna attract trouble. If she never went to cram school or anything, how would she protect herself from just the everyday demon interactions? Or the potentially problematic ones, anyways.
Seems interesting so far.
Write on:)

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