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2/28/2015 c2 sya.al
Okay. Review. Weee

So far so good. Characterization looks fine, the OC's quirks added some spice so their characters aren't so dull. I like that. That tidbit about Americans I will not comment because I can't exactly deny...ahem. Off topic. If the setting is America though, what will happen to OC nationality? Are they immigrants now? Otherwise, that tiny detail would likely be irrelevant to the story as a whole (unless, of course, you want to be consistent.)

Now, you're working with 13 different characters (at least), that's 13 sub-stories and some other details. It's work (I can't even take care of one OC). Don't stress out or struggle to stay in line with the OC profiles. I made the profile pretty vague and generalized so you could have more room to work with. Take care of yourself and don't worry. Remember: your story, your way. Best thing to do in an OC submission story is that you keep things organized, a binder to refer to each profile instantly (save time and less likely to drive you up a wall.) Scrivener is a program designed for writers, it has the ability to organize documents into folders accessible within the project. Useful thing to check out if you haven't already. (Sorry, shameless advertising, but I really do love that program to death.)

For grammars...well, I'm not exactly one to talk if you ever want advice since I'm horrible at it myself. Though make sure that you know the difference between it's and its. Saw that somewhere in the chapter. Might want to check out some capitalization rules when it's after a dialogue. Pretty sure you don't capitalize after the question mark if the sentence has a dialogue tag. Don't quote me on that though, I'm just being a nitpicky reviewer. Whoops. :P

Final thing. If you are seriously going to place each OC's profile at the end of each chapter, I'm going to burn in embarrassment. Shouldn't have sent that profile when I was half-asleep and have the entire community see my wondrous grammar skills. I'll prepare myself for the imminent, unavoidable, and dramatic walk of shame for that day."OTL

Again, best of luck. May a crispy, good luck bacon pass by your Dashboard on Tumblr. :D

(It's been a long time since I've reviewed. Hah.)
2/24/2015 c1 Natsumo
I would love to create chara/oc for you but this character is quite simple.

Name: Homey
Nationality: Malaysia
Age: 16
Zodiac: Taurus
Family: none
status: a part time worker at a book shop
birthday: 13 may
Like: Book, junk food, thrash, free time and poem
Dislike: cleanness, noise, children, cuteness and sweet
Appearance: A piercing deep green eyes, dark brown swept hair by the left and messy by the right side. Around 5'6 tall and had a broad shoulder. (love to wear casual outfit)
personality: he can be persistent, patient and reliable during work but he could get jealous easily and also feel resentful about himself.
background: came from an average family, his parent love him and wished him to be more independent for himself. they thought letting working at a local book shop could help him being more mature and independent.
other: had a sadistic fetish as a big secret.
2/24/2015 c1 natsumo
I would love to create an chara with a tauras horoscope for you :D and I'm totally loving the story so far
2/24/2015 c1 12chrihstie
Mmm. I would like to give you a suggestion for Libra! :) I don't know if it'll be for the current or new generation because of the ages? But I'll PM it to you and maybe you can decide? _
2/24/2015 c1 45Aliathe
Definitely looks interesting... I'll be eagerly awaiting the next update, then! :]
2/24/2015 c1 37Kuroi Rin
Hey! Cool that you do this Story! And I hope you don't mind if I give you a Chara for Ophiuchus? :)
If it is okay, I write it straight after school :3
2/24/2015 c1 1KuroRinkusu
This story seems interesting... I've never read a KHR fanfiction with astrology (or have I?) So this story caught my eyes. I hope you can balance your time in updating your story. If you don't mint, I would like a spot for Scorpio *smiles*
2/24/2015 c1 14torinokomachi
Hi! This fic really caught my eye. I've once read a fic about Horoscope based famiglia in another site but I think I lost it now. *Sweat drop* If it's horoscopes, I think the name for the famiglia would be Astrale . It's Italian for Astral which is a stellar and astrological term and since horoscopes are... well, stars. Ah, if you don't mind, I would like a spot for Aquarius. :D
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