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for Changing the Way They Saw Him

2/12/2019 c16 Dancing Madman
Before I say anything else, I want you to know that in the end I fully understood the story and greatly enjoyed it. You surpassed my expectations.

The biggest thing I want to say is that the essentials of your writing skills from chapter 1 to the end have stayed the same. There was no clear line that made me think 'oh, Zyenna must have read an article by Grammarly on how to do this specific thing better.'

There were multiple notes I made of your work that stood true even here at the end. In this last chapter, for example, when Gobber says, "beard of Thor," the triple dots after those words don't have a space after them. I know that things like how to go about using triple dots, including comma usage, is mostly if not completely up to the author and how they feel like writing it, but in most official works I've read, there is a space after them. Furthermore, I remember that before Gobber says that, Zyenna says, "Stoick... You NEED to watch this..." In this case you do have a space, so that leads me to believe you just made a couple typos and didn't catch them.

Another thing I noticed was the occasional missing apostrophe. For lack of the ability to copy and paste text and provide a better example, I'll just look at the author note on the bottom of the chapter. When responding to Ladipretender, you say, "... left Hiccups demonic appearance..." Since the demonic appearance belongs to Hiccup, there would be an apostrophe in his name, correct? Eh, I'm no professional (really, I'm not) so I might be spoutin' hooey.

Simple things, not a big deal.

-

I’m not a fan of a Gary Stu, unless said Gary Stu has worked hard enough to earn being one. Hiccup, in a lot of stories, and I dare say the vast majority of them, starts off rising from zero to hero just like *FINGER SNAP* that. Talk about boring!

So when you started differently than the vast majority and began to play things off as if he had failed something pretty important and had died, /I was pretty excited./ I was preparing for an epic ride.

So when I then read all of his casual actions towards deamons in all their inky glory, I was inclined to believe that this would be another classic Gary Stu story where you, like many other authors, would force down our throats some epic suit of armor or whatever and slap on some muscles that would make Snotlout instantly jealous.

But I am building to a point! For a minute I was tempted to stop reading, sure that it would be another story showing off the almighty god king Hiccup Haddock, but I stuck with it and I couldn’t be happier.
The most important things - the ones that drove the story, like bending the rules against the mistress like putting his bag of items in a hollowed out tree where she couldn't find them (because she never said he couldn't do that, so yeah) - were flushed out over many chapters. Your writing style is my reading style, thanks for writing.

-DM
11/24/2018 c16 Shelly Torres Skyssa
Wow.

It. Was. AMAZING!

I LOVED EVERY PART OF IT.

IT MADE ME HATE WITH ALL MY MIGHT TIANDRA!

AND IT MADE ME SAD AND.. AND!

WOW!

AND THE SUSPENSE!
MAN!

THIS WAS AMAZING!
11/24/2018 c15 Shelly Torres Skyssa
Alrighty, then.
OKAY.
ST*PID TIANDRA!
I HATE YOU!
11/24/2018 c14 Shelly Torres Skyssa
YOU, B*TCH!
YOU MADE HIM CHOKE, KICK, PULL BY THE HAIR, AND PUNCH HIS OWN SON?! ALSO DISOWN HIM?!
AGHHHHHHH!

Dear writer, you're making me suffer.3
11/24/2018 c13 Shelly Torres Skyssa
Hmmm. So Gothi has not one.

*Growls* Tiandra...

A minute of silence for the poors Gronckle and Zippleback.

This is pretty interesting what you're doing here, Dear writer.
11/24/2018 c12 Shelly Torres Skyssa
YOU KILLED HIS MOTHER YOU... AGHHHHHHH!

I'm with you, Zyenna.
HATE. B*tches like Tiandra.

I think I DO know how is it going to end.
Hope I'm right.
11/23/2018 c11 Shelly Torres Skyssa
Hate. You. Tiandra.

YOU STAY AWAY FROM THEM!

Nononononononono.

Now that I remember. HOLY SH*T!
I REMEMBERED TEEN WOLF WHEN VOID STILES TOOK SCOTT'S PAIN AWAY! NOW EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE!

YOU'RE JUST A SHUKING MANIPULATING B*TCH! I WANNA HURT YOU SOOOOOOOO BADLY RIGHT NOW.

A pure white sprite. Hmmm. I wonder...

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!
NIGHTMARES ARE AWFUL, AND YOU'RE FORCING HIM TO STAY ASLEP?!
11/23/2018 c9 Shelly Torres Skyssa
Ha, awww. New scene of New Tail.

*Growls loudly*Lorel... I'LL THE SHUKING HEL KILL YOU!
11/23/2018 c8 Shelly Torres Skyssa
Dear writer: Sooo... Before anything happens. A friend of mine read my revews and told meHey. From the looks of it. Well... It kinda looks like you're insulting the writer of this story".
And then I read my revews and was like... "Oh... OH SH*T, IT'S TRUE"
So. I want to clarify that, whenever I insult someone, it's a character. Not the author.
If I want to tell them something, I (almost) always say 'Dear writer'.
But I'm really sorry for the misunderstanding.
So, ON WITH MY WEIRD THOUGHTS.

This new Forbidden Friendship is still so awesome!

Zyenna, I like you :D

You... YOU WHIPPED HIM?!
His... His FLESH!
You just SMASH HIM AGAINST A TREE?!
Salt... SALT WAñTER?!
I KNEW IT! I KNEW YOU WANTED SOMETHING LIKE THAT WITH HIM, YOU B*TCH!
YOU STAY AWAY FROM HIM!
Did you eat–DID YOU EAT HIS SHUKING LIMB?! IS THAT WHAT YOU DO, YOU MONSTER?!

YEEEEEEEEES, NOW I FINALLY NOW HER NAME!
IMMA KILL YOU, TIANDRA.
11/23/2018 c8 Shelly Torres Skyssa
Dear writer, I love you.
I TRULLY HATE THE B*TCH FOR HURTING HICCUP!
But I love the way you put her character.
11/23/2018 c7 Shelly Torres Skyssa
Stop. Hurting. HICCUP, YOU B*TCH!
11/23/2018 c7 Shelly Torres Skyssa
STOP HURTING TOOTHLESS, YOU B*TCH!
11/23/2018 c6 Shelly Torres Skyssa
He said before "That wasn't part of the deal".
I really want to know what tope of deal did he make with HER and why.
11/22/2018 c5 Shelly Torres Skyssa
DO NOT DARE TO HURT TOOTHLESS, YOU... BLACK, WEIRD THING!

A succubus?!
Wow.

WHAT THE– YOU LEAVE HIM ALONE YOU B*TCH!

I DO HATE THAT B*TCH A LOT!
11/22/2018 c4 Shelly Torres Skyssa
SHE?
Who's SHE?
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