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9/13 c4 1Diametrik
Anko forcing Hinata to do romantic stuff with guys other than her main love interest is not pleasant to read
4/13 c7 ruboo001
…Man, for a villain, this Orochimaru is suspiciously Princess Celestia-like. In the sense of being a well-mannered and (in this case seemingly) well-intentioned “troll”, at least. When’s the other shoe gonna drop?
12/3/2021 c31 Guest
TLDR: The first C-Rank mission is always cursed. I thought Naruto would pull out a legit galaxy 1000 IQ EQ con. He didn't. Orochimaru presses the win button. He wins. Thank ya for the story. :))

I read

Naruto rubbed the back of his head uncomfortably. "Weeeellll," he began. "That thing about not being able to do surgery. That's not...quite true. I can make 'em as solid as a person. They'll pop if they run out of chakra or if they take a fatal wound, but otherwise they stick around. If you were really careful, you could probably cut their head open and check their brain." He made a disgusted face. "But that would be horrible." -Chapter 2

I'm like, neat it's possible to not have clones instantly poof.

I go on to read the dive Naruto took on chapter 8 so I'm on the edge of my seat going 'This mad lad didn't! They freaking didn't! Hahaha!'.

Reading the doc explain Naruto's situation fuels my little theory that I had going.

"Probably the worst part is the chakra exhaustion. I've never seen coils as large as his and they were empty. Orochimaru-sama said that he was given a chakra transfer from three people, yet he's still empty. We've been parading a line of donors through and sucking them dry trying to get him back to the point where his natural chakra regeneration will restart. His coils are...burned, is the best way I can describe it. I've never seen anything quite like it, but it means that even if we do get his chakra regenerating again it's going to be moving very slowly and it will take a long time for him to heal. He'll also probably be in a lot of pain. - Chapter 9

All in all I was disappointed on that front. I was hopeful that Naruto's pranking shtick was coming into play. When he took the dive he placed a injured and low on chakra clone down to tie up resources and attention. Then a series of distractions would follow in rapid succession to allow multiple avenues of escape.

All in all I'm impressed that in the end this legitimately spiraled out in a way I was not expecting. More in a 'lul wat' than a 'you mad genius why didn't I see it before' sort of way. Looking at the bijuu mods and when Orochimaru first comes out to play. To specify it's the sorta thing that one experiences when playing with a railroading GM. Orochimaru showed up and there was (I felt) a loss of agency to the Team Anko. He has god like skills, nothing you do is out of his sight, he knows just what to say to sway you, even bijuu don't think it's worth it to take him on. Instead of facing off against a man or organization it felt like they were fighting against nature. One does all in their power to fight against a storm while at sea only to fail multiple times, come out living but scathed, in the end the metaphorically storm smiles because it's won. All in all while I didn't like the direction the story took I thank ya for taking the time and effort to write out this work out. It is neat :))
10/1/2021 c2 Guest
Fics like this always remind me that rational and realistic are pretty subjective in literature cause i wouldn't call this story rational.
9/3/2021 c31 Gibson1014
The best part of this fic is how different it is from almost anything else I’ve read. The fact that the genin actually though of leaving because of how much of a smooth talker that Orochimaru was is actually impressive and not something Almost anywhere else.

Also I’m sad with that fact that this fic is not continued nor does it have a sequel. But in the end it was a good fic regardless of its outcome :)
6/25/2021 c1 Guest
WARNING! Carry on reading! Or you will die, even if you only looked at the word warning! Once there was a little girl called Clarissa, she was ten-years-old and she lives in a mental hospital, because she killed her mom and dad. She got so bad she went to kill all the staff in the hospital so the More-government decided that the best idea was to get rid of her so they set up a special room to kill her, as humane as possible but it went wrong the machine they were using went wrong. And she sat there in agony for hours until she died. Now every week on the day of her death she returns to the person that read this letter, on a Monday night at 12:00 a.m. She creeps into your room and kills you slowly, by cutting you and watching you bleed to death. Now send this to ten other pictures on the site, and she will haunt someone else who doesn't. This isn't fake, apparently, if you copy and paste this to ten comments in the next ten minutes you will have the best day of your life tomorrow. . . . .
6/18/2021 c17 1JSHADOWM
My only criticism is taht you call the weapon "M16A2"

M-# is only an american style designation; it doesnt really happen elsewhere: MP5 only contains an M because its a Machinen-Pistole, and M249? nope, just [usa millitary designation]. the actual gun is called "FN Minimi".

I find it far more likely, unless the republic is literally the USA, that they would have called it the BR-16, IR-16, SR-16, AR-16 or AR-15, BR-15, ect. Eugine Stoner himself, even if you directly transplanted him here and had him came up with the idea for a "modern rifle" in 5.56 by 54mm, calls it Armalite Rifle 15 (AR-15) so even SBR-15 works (Stoner's Battle Rifle, model 15.) which is the way russian designations work ("AK-47" is just "Kalashnikov's Assault Rifle, 47" in russian.)
6/5/2021 c4 Tilian86
Dude, as hard as it is to say, I'm enjoying it a hell of a lot.
Why? Cause it is so different.

And your character depictions fits and differ at the same time from the most of the stuff. but those differences does not make the characters not thenselves.
Nice work so far.
4/9/2021 c2 catbert7
Letting the kikai bugs inject chakra into other people is an interesting element. It seems like another person’s chakra would probably be rejected by the body - poisonous - but I don’t know that it was ever made clear in canon, and who really cares. It will allow for some intriguing tactics.

The clones’ intelligence is a sketchy issue. There really are some serious ethical concerns with them that are, of course, not dealt with in canon.
4/8/2021 c1 catbert7
Appreciate your attention to rationalizing the magic system. I didn’t recall that shadow clone chakra can be recovered when it is dissipated. Doesn’t make much sense why that chakra could be recovered and not the chakra from every other jutsu, does it? One would think that if chakra is being molded into all these forms, then all those forms coukd be returned to chakra. Probably anything should be consumable for chakra.
3/15/2021 c17 JFJ123
I'm not sure I like the fact you added a civilization of people with technology and weapons similar to our own, it kinda makes ninja and everything about them seems kinda useless, which ruins the vibe.
3/15/2021 c13 JFJ123
Hahaha! The scene with Kurama and Naruto is hilarious!
9/15/2020 c31 Guest
Very stupid story you make Naruto seem like idiot j do want other characters to deloped but Naruto is hero and he shouod be always so this story is stupid and I don't know why even I wasted my time here
8/31/2020 c1 Guest
What a load of wank. Guessing you don't get out of the basement much.
8/17/2020 c31 Guest
Remove the complete tag, it's a lie.
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