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for The Red and Blue Corpus

6/9/2015 c1 Tenshoru
So cute! :D
5/3/2015 c5 65Aspros D'Lars
Oh my gosh! Its very cute! Ok, mucho ingles por hoy. Ha sido hermoso, pequeño pero un muy lindo escrito. Oh, como desearia que pudieras escribir algo mas grande (y en mi idioma), seguro seria fantastico. Espero puedas escribir mas de estos pequeños relatos.
Definitivamente tienes un puesto en mis favoritos. Nos leeremos luego. Cuidate mucho, ¿vale?
Atte. Aspros
5/3/2015 c2 Aspros D'Lars
Well, my english isnt very good, but I think you deserve this review. I dont know many people who enjoy this shipping, but youre an excellent writer. Ok, much english for a day.
¿Que puedo decirte? Me encanta el MacDash tanto como a ti y también tengo mis historias, obviamente en español pero como hay tan pocas tuve que buscar en otros idiomas, así encontré estos pequeños relatos que me han encantado en demasía. Espero puedas seguir escribiendo mas de estos pequeños relatos y te animes a escribir algo mas grande, tienes mi apoyo.
Cuidate mucho, ¿vale?
Atte. Aspros
4/16/2015 c5 Flutter BP Shy
He would not want that. Oh no. I know Big Macintosh would love to be with me. :3
4/16/2015 c4 Flutter BP Shy
Please Betty Bear, please make a FlutterMac story. I know I'm a better fit for Big Macintosh than Rainbow.
4/16/2015 c3 Flutter BP Shy
Oh my! I would never do that! That would be too mean. And Big Macintosh would love to cuddle with me! Um..if that's okay if I say so that is.
4/16/2015 c2 Flutter BP Shy
Oh! How dare you Rainbow! He should kiss me!...Oh I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get upset. Oh I'm so sorry.
4/16/2015 c1 Flutter BP Shy
Oh, that was a lovely piece, but um Big Mac would love me not Rainbow.
3/31/2015 c4 Flash Sentry
Hey, Better Bear! What's happening?! Well, apparently an AWESOME short story!

Lucky for you, I just so happened to get tired of playing my guitar, and I stumbled across this awesome story of yours.

I didn't think that Big Mac was all that into Rainbow Dash. He's always been a little shy, but at least he's learning to live a little. I'm also glad Rainbow Dash is getting a guy because not everyone can be like me and Twilight. We're engaged. ya know?

But yeah, the story is cool. I can really feel the flow coming from your fingers to the keyboard. Kinda like how my feelings flow from my fingers to my axe. Keep on rockin' Betty Bear!
3/30/2015 c5 3PegasisNemasis36
Greetings. I am Vultarian01.

I see you're doing another picture interpretation story. I wonder what you have for us this time...

When you wrote, "Sure he was an apple and so he would always have a soft spot for apples," you should have capitalized the first apple because, I assume, that you are talking about his family's name. Unless you are saying that he is a big red fruit, I would suggest capitalizing the first "apple" to make it "Apple". Otherwise Rainbow Dash would just eat him. :I

But that's just a small grammatical error in an otherwise good story. This story is a simple one, but the basic emotion of the character was done well.

Yet another vulture seal of approval. ;)
3/30/2015 c4 PegasisNemasis36
Greetings. I am Vultarian01.

You know, this story is surprisingly short. That's no criticism though. In fact, I think that this story is rather adorable despite its simplicity. Good work.

Another vulture seal of approval. ;)
3/25/2015 c5 1RosaSilvermist
Awww, so sweet! I loved it!
3/21/2015 c4 RosaSilvermist
Awww! So sweet!
3/19/2015 c3 3PegasisNemasis36
Greetings. I am Vultarian01.

[Author's note]

I'll be sure to give it a look. Smart move giving her credit for your idea. Really sweet too.

[Sleepy Snuggles]

Firs of all, I would like to point out...THAT THE TITLE IS SO DAMN CUTE! XD! X3 Daaaaaaaaaaw! Is so coot! Sweepy snuggwes! Dyyaaaaaawwwa! It makes me wanna pick up MacDash, devour them, and puke out rainbows with smiley faces it's so cute! :-3

*GASP* OKAY! Okay.. I'm calm now. Let's just keep goi- *sees title again* DAAAAAAAAWYAAAAAAAAAAAWAAWAWWW! :3

The most splendid idea? Well, I guess it's no different than saying 'A' most splendid idea. I just see Rarity using 'a' rather than 'the' in that sentence. That's just me though. :I

Didn't you just get THROUGH playing Truth or Dare Pinkie Pie? (this is, of course, riding on the hope that this a continuation of chapter 2)

O_O...you know, Betty Bear...if chapter one didn't exist this would be kind of creepy. I mean this is kind of weird because Big McIntosh is basically taking Rainbow Dash, without consent, and placing her in his room. You could even argue that even with chapter 1 this would seem like the start of a rape ateempt. :I This is just me looking at the surface though. :I

Yeah that would be ungentlecoltly of you Big Mac. Almost as ungentlecoltly as TAKING RAINBOW DASH AND SLEEPING WITH HER IN YOUR ROOM! WITHOUT HER CONSENT!

{STOP!}

From this point in the review I will be very serious. I love what you did in this part.

If I ignored my previous comments, I would see that this was a very intimate and heartwarming setup. It started more around where you mentioned Rainbow Dash was in her dreams, and she was dreaming of dating Big McIntosh. It is an excellent compliment to the emotional scene being made outside of the dream where Big McIntosh was, in a very considerate way, letting her sleep and getting into bed with her. The way they were positioned I also liked as it wasn't sexual but intimate. A lot of setups like these would go into sexual relations, which is by no means a bad thing. But I like how you gave this a tasteful approach that shows the feelings of the characters in this story.

The comedy was also worked well in. If i wasn't serious I would question why Applejack and Fluttershy were so adamant on taking pictures and video taping it. And why Twilight was stupid enough to bet 50 bits. That's too high.

However, I think the comedy was set well enough to get a snicker out of me, but also not enough to make me clinging to the emotion I am feeling within the story.

I knew this was good because while I was reading I was listening to Beethoven playing the piano in my head. Something like Beethoven's fifth. That's a good thing because I can put in the emotion myself which can make a reader feel more emotional connections to this story.

Overall the comedy, the emotion, and the openness to connections make this story for me. You have done...SO WELL in mixing these things together. I found the beginning to be a bit shaky, but the good stuff I can't even BEGIN to do it justice.

This may have been a simple, under 700 word, short story. but I definitely felt some kind of connection. This is probably just me, but I just like the ending THAT much.

Miss Bear, I love you and your story. I would give this ending my vulture seal of approval, but that wouldn't be enough. You should feel proud of yourself. I sure as hell am. :)
3/19/2015 c2 PegasisNemasis36
Greetings. I am Vultarian01. I'm sorry this was late, but as soon as I realized you made another chapter I dropped whatever I was doing and came here right away to review it. Sure I was giving a person CPR but this is more important. (JK)

[Author's Note]

Grammerly? You mind telling me how you got that program? Sounds interesting.

}:( I WILL be expecting perfection, Miss Bear. Do not disappoint me. (JK JK JK) ;)

That's okay, Miss Cookie-like Bear. stories can sometimes take a different turn. Sometimes it's for the better.

[Truth or Dare]

By the title I think I can guess where this is going to end. But that's just a preconceived notion as far as an opinion goes. I'll read the rest.

I'm liking the set up. Definitely leads me into the flow of the story. However, and this is just a thought, I'm pretty sure you shouldn't capitalize magic of friendship i.e. [studying the Magic of Friendship] like that when you are using it as a normal phrase. Now, I'm not good with grammar vocabulary like yourself, but I'm sure that capitalizing magic of friendship isn't necessary because it's not a namebrand, and it isn't too important to your story to warrant capitalization.

I also spotted another error of life. -_- Fluttershy is in your story.

Forgot the 'h' at the end of 'yeah' [speaker: Rainbow Dash]

The 'Princess Egghead' comment made me smile. :)

Vultarian: "Pinkie Pie sure likes to talk."
Twilight: "No shit."
Vultarian: -D

O_O...what is Dashie planning? I'm scared. *wets pants*

Spin the bottle and Truth or Dare combined? That's not entirely strange considering this has been done in so may chick-flicks recently, but weren't spin the bottle and truth or dare once entirely different games? I mean they both have similar rules, but traditionally the game of spin the bottle ends up with two people getting lip action. truth or dare CAN lead to that, but it traditionally makes people humiliate each other. This isn't a criticism as much as it is an observation.

Wait? high heavens? Wouldn't she be praying to Celestia? I mean the poinies in the show have pretty much referred her as a GOD! "Sweet Celestai" "Thank Celestia" "Celestia help us". all of this is basically worship. This kind of leads me to why princess Celestia would be listening to her if she's always off on 'royal duties' *cough* Celestia has a huge ego *cough*. And I'm not sure if Celesta can rule a spiritual realm while also leading a physical one. Is there even a heaven?! Again, this is an observation and not a criticism. A criticism would be more like "why would a god bother with an embarrassment like Fluttershy?" That's towards Fluttershy though. :)

Fluttershy just pick one. You're screwed either way. -_-

Pink is such a beautiful and romantic color? Seriously Rarity? All right... *Red is better*

Vultarian: "Pinkie Pie's favorite color is Pink!"
Rainbow: "You racist against pink ponies? Asshole"
Vultarian: -D

[MacDash part]

Rainbow Dash seems kind of one note, but that's okay. This is a short story and you established her character well. Anyway...LOL! DIABLO HOT SAUCE! XD PINKIE PIE IS BEST PONY! *Not really. Starlight Glimmer is*

Vultarian: "The daredevil chose dare!"
Applejack: "Why did we invite you again?"
Vultarian: -D

Something you're not telling us Pinkie? Maybe you should wipe of the MacDash porn on your computer? Yeah, that's what I thought.

{end}

I quite enjoyed this chapter. There were hardly any grammatical errors, and it was pretty damn funny! X). I particularly like the part where Pinkie Pie tried not to reveal her MacDash fetish by disguising her lust as a dare for Rainbow Dash to do. Pinkie you evil genius you O.O! It seems like this is going to carry on into the next chapter, and if so I am going to look forward to it. I love the way you write. You make sure to establish your characters, and you give them believable interactions. I love this chapter. This one also gets a vulture seal of approval! ;)
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