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4/15/2020 c11 4BerserkLittleCook
This is the end. And what can I say? I liked the little Harmony inserted into a Ginny story. Though I begrudge Harry for not going to Australia. I was surprised to see Ginny still missing Harry, but I guess it does make some sense. I almost thought you'd pair up Ginny with Luna at the very end. I'm glad you didn't, though it will remain my headcanon.
Until the very end it annoyed me when you gave not enough spacial details or babbled too much in the brackets. Not my style, I guess. But I adore the way you construct scenes when you put your mind into it. And the way you capture emotion in movement and actions. As I said at the beginning, I didn't have high expectations for the story and I got a hundred times more than I thought. Can you blame me for wanting a hundred or thousand more?
4/15/2020 c10 BerserkLittleCook
And he smirked to himself, thinking how she hadn't answered his question again (he hoped she wouldn't make a habit out of it).
"So, I ask again, when are we going to Australia?"
4/15/2020 c9 BerserkLittleCook
I have the same complaint as when they last talked in his office - the conversation didn't actually happen on page. You focused too little on what was happening and too much on the inside of brackets for my liking. This should not have been a filler chapter. Ginny is the main character and this is important to her. Make it important.
I get the feeling you're rushing to make Harmony happen, while it is not what the story was about.
4/14/2020 c8 BerserkLittleCook
This Harmony is not slow to come - it is simply not a part of the story. At least, not a romantic Harmony. Although, despite what I just said (wrote), you sold me on the ship. Did so probably better than most romantic H/Hr fics. And you sold me on Ginny stepping away, which was your stated goal at the beginning of the story. So congratulations, you did it!
I am so happy that Ginny finally decided to move on. Like, really move on. It was getting quite depressing to watch her. I am also surprised Hermione even is there. I thought she went to Australia with Harry. I guess he's more stubborn than I thought.
4/14/2020 c7 BerserkLittleCook
It WAS rushed. You didn't know what to do with it? Build a scene! Just like you did before! Do not just tell us what Ginny told Harry in this conversation. Let them have the conversation! Show us the emotional turmoil she goes through when she says it! Show him shocked, disbelieving or relieved or whatever he was.
It's like I can tell you that he was shocked and probably stunted into silence but nothing else. On the other hand, when he apologized to her a couple of chapters ago, I could tell he was serious, he cared, I can theorise he was afraid to lose her because of the way she worded the letter or that maybe it shook him from the shell he hid into. I can tell the abstract myself. You give the details. The stares, touches, words, trembles, hands stopping mid-air... You did that well in the previous chapters. That probably why it annoyed me so much when Ginny went on with her internal monologue. Just like it annoys me when you use four different phrases to say the same thing, one after another. "something cried, protested, raged inside of her". I really don't like that part.
4/14/2020 c6 BerserkLittleCook
I do not think Ron gets OOC here. He was OOC to begin with and then you justified it and it fits with the central theme.
Ginny does get weird here. As if she suddenly changed her mind about her right to know stuff and we didn't get to see it. Or I missed it somehow.
4/14/2020 c5 BerserkLittleCook
Someone said this story ultimately says nothing? What the...
In the description you stated the goal for this story. As far as I can tell, it achieves that goal and more. It has an interesting dynamic between the trio as well as Ginny's realization and struggles. It carries a well written mood throughout the chapters I've read so far and it explores the aftermath of the war in a very intimate way.
Oh, and I screwed up with the last chapter's review and I have no idea how I can edit it, so I will repost it here:
-
I just wanted to compliment the way you write scenes, how the characters dialogue and behavior is filled with emotion. It actually makes me understand them more than Ginny's thoughts that you put at the end of every chapter.
If you want critique, the end-thoughts are what could use some work. They just feel isolated from the scene and it rubs me the wrong way. I don't know what Ginny's doing while she thinks it, which bothers me especially in this chapter. In the previous, okay, she was crying, running and stuff. Here she... Stand awkwardly and stares at Harry? Or what? I don't know.
Also, I like what you did with the note. Just an hour ago I was talking about how great it is to see what characters are thinking when they read and write letters, instead of just having the letters.
4/14/2020 c4 BerserkLittleCook
It gets better. The tension rises, the 'secondary' characters flesh out. There's no end-of-chapter monologue. (y)
4/14/2020 c3 BerserkLittleCook
I just wanted to compliment the way you write scenes, how the characters dialogue
4/14/2020 c2 BerserkLittleCook
Did Hermione think someone was attacking? Did she apperate outside to see who it was? Was she so confused she forgot she could dry her clothes with magic? Her behavior confuses me so much?
Also, I thought Harry would run away at the sight of Ginny. It felt strange that she did instead. On the other hand, it is refreshing to see her doubt herself instead of blaming Harry of 'being unfaithful' and raging, like in so many other fics.
4/14/2020 c1 BerserkLittleCook
It is not what I was expecting. I thought I was in for a long, long introspection that I was going to drop after a couple thousand words. As foolish as it sounds, I was not expecting it to be an actual story. So I am pleasantly surprised. Nothing more to say at this stage.
11/30/2019 c11 Guest
My name is Denise. This is truly a lovely story. I appreciate the time factor it crossed and seeing Ginny accept the truth of H/HR relationship. This could be cannon prior to epilogue. Wish it had you for finishing this story.
10/7/2018 c10 Lonelywicked
His was a sweet chapter.
8/6/2018 c11 Crushcrush12
Dios, esto estuvo tan bien escrito que me duelen los ojos. Fue asombroso. Fue perfecto. Magnifico. Lo voy a atesorar. Escribes HERMOSO. Me ha encantado.
Thanks you
Aun tengo la boca seca desde el capitulo anterior.
Te AMO
8/6/2018 c10 Crushcrush12
mi boca se secó desde que la boca de Hermione se secó
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