Just In
for Twin Dragons of Fairy Tail

9/13/2016 c2 9Asuka1920
Hope everything is well.
Please continue when you can.
8/7/2015 c2 Guest
It doesen'n mind thath yoy don't continĂșe writeing your story, your family is much more important than we are. I hope your granma recovers
7/27/2015 c2 ivan0061509
Oh ok I understand I hope she makes a quick recovery and feels better
5/2/2015 c2 1KuramaFTW
Also I hope your grandmother recovers soon.
5/2/2015 c1 KuramaFTW
Ok I know that you picked up this story from another author and you are only one chapter in but still I saw a lot that can be done to make this better. The most glaring issue though is the pacing of the story. You literally dumped an ass load of information on us in only 4,000 words and had like ten important things happen in that time frame. This whole thing is moving way too fast. I mean it goes from Naruto getting beaten, arriving in Earthland, a Dragon taking Naruto to another Dragon to heal him, Grandeeny saying that he should be out for a few days but wakes up in what seems like a few hours, creating some kind of attraction between SIX YEAR OLDS, Naruto being adopted by a Dragon and him learning about the night of his birth. That is way too much going on. Look I'm not trying to flame you in any way, I'm only trying to point out some things that could be improved on.

You may not want it but I do have some advice for you. Most of what you put in this chapter is necessary for a first chapter. However everything that's happening is so fast paced that we read something and just like that we move on to something else going on and were like 'whoa shit what just happened I missed it.' Try to slow the whole thing down. I mean when Tsukuyomi met up with Kurama you told us nothing other than that the dragon was silver. Not a name or even its gender. Give us a little more description, don't rely solely on dialogue to explain what is going on.

However the BIG NO NO is the initial attraction between Naruto and Wendy right from the get go. THEY ARE SIX YEARS OLD! THERE IS NO POSSIBLE WAY THEY COULD HAVE ANY FORM OF ROMANTIC ATTRACTIONS FOR THE OTHER AT THIS AGE! AND I'D KNOW SINCE I STUDY PSYCHOLOGY! The absolute earliest you could do this, and this is a major stretch, right when the canon aspect of the story starts. Around that time I believe Wendy was about 12 years old. Like I said it's a major stretch and really the only way you'll be able to pull this off so that they can have a romantic relationship while during canon is for them to not be present during the S-Class Exams and back at the guild hall so that they age during the seven years everyone else is asleep.

One last thing, you are setting Naruto up to be God like right from the start. As noted when there was made mention of his large Chakra reserves. The use of Dragon Slayer abilities and Chakra is just way too much. In all reality it should just be one or the other and since the whole idea behind this is for Naruto to be a Dragon Slayer the use of Chakra is pretty much tossed out the window. Look what I'm going for here is that God like Naruto stories are boring as all hell to read since it pretty much means that Naruto is invincible and will never lose destroying any and all tension that any author tries to establish.

Also here's a recommendation for you, the whole idea of Twin Dragons represents Sting and Rogue so giving another duo the name of Twin Dragons is kinda stealing Sting and Rogue's thunder. So why not give them the nickname of the Heavenly Dragons since they represent the Sky and Moon.
4/3/2015 c2 Naruto
I pray to God that your grandmother will recover.

I really enjoy the series! I'll look out for later chapters!
4/2/2015 c2 jakester
Dude hope your grandma gets better
4/4/2015 c2 4fangs of death
I hope she recovers.
3/31/2015 c1 Xx-NatsU-xX
Soo good i'm waiting for the next chptr
4/2/2015 c2 Jose19
I hope for the very best for your grandmother because I know about this too well since I lost my father when I was young with the same problems you described so I wish you the best for you and your grandmother.
4/2/2015 c1 eniox27
Thank you I wasn't expecting soneone to adopt this fic so soon.
4/2/2015 c1 15NinjaFang1331
Awesome job with the chapter
4/1/2015 c1 jbadillodavila
Me gusto
4/1/2015 c1 WizardShinobi
CAn you also give naruto Gravity magic and Lunar magic. Gravity from the moon's gravitational pull that affects the ocean tides and stuff. and lunar for obvious reasons. You could base his powers on mirana nightshade's magic from world of warcraft.
3/31/2015 c1 4fangs of death
In three words. Super mega amazing. This is a whole lot better than want I did. I can't wait to see what else your going to do. Also is there going to be any sibling fluff with the dragon slayers and Erza? Also any pairings?
19 Page 1 2 Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service