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4/25/2015 c5 Winter
What is this? Like the Mary Sue from hfil? Everyone is so OOC to be unrecognizable. Species specifics are unrecognizable as well for the savage warriors that all sayajins are.
4/22/2015 c4 TheLoyalMutation
Seriously, your are humanizing the Saiyans. Their culture is different from human culture. They don't have phones, their calls are placed via scouter. And again, the wedding thing is unneeded in saiyan culture, they'd have a small ceremony and then go back to purging planets. Saiyans LIVE for battle, newborn saiyans are sent to planets to learn to survive alone, and purge the planet, at a week old. Their technology is limited, and their time is spent drinking,fighting, training, and purging planets. They don't care for politics, they have the strongest warriors in the galaxy and they know it. They don't need two weddings, and would find it wasteful to have two. They wouldn't have photographers either, as saiyans don't care for that, they are warriors, not dainty princesses who care about money or perfection, to them, all that matters is what you bring to the battlefield. Also, saiyans wouldnt get envious of her, they don't care for titles that much, it is all about strength, saiyan women wouldn't care that much, they aren't as self centered as humans. And I noticed you skipped from chapter 1, to chapter 3. No chapter 2? Or is this a simple mistake? Another thing, why does no one question what happened to Frieza? It's like
Prince Vegeta: "You all died to frieza and I wished you back"
Everyone else: "kay, let's plan your wedding.".
4/22/2015 c3 TheLoyalMutation
Reposted chapter 1 with a single additional paragraph? Why not just update chapter 1?
4/22/2015 c2 TheLoyalMutation
First of all, again, you're really humanizing the saiyans. They don't carry about beautiful weddings, they care about the commitment it means, they are savage warriors with one mate, big festivels aren't their style unless there is alcohol and fighting. Remember, saiyan culture isn't based around who has more money, that's humans, it is based around who is strongest. The king is the strongest, then the elites, who are supposed to be the next most important, and so on. Second thing, it blew up two years ago? You didn't explain this, but I assume you moved the destruction of Planet Vegeta? Because it was destroyed when Goku was a baby and was sent from the planet, and Vegeta was just a child at the time, atleast in canon.
4/22/2015 c1 TheLoyalMutation
I feel the need to point this out. You said that females don't become soldiers, but you're wrong there. With saiyans, all are equal, women are soldiers too, this is seen a few times, one example is Fasha, who worked with Bardock. Women in saiyan culture were just as strong as men, and became warriors alongside the men, they'd have children and then go straight back into battle.
3/31/2015 c1 horinio
This concept looks like it has some real potential. I strongly urge you to continue. I will be looking forward to further developments in this story.
3/31/2015 c1 Blythe J
Oh my God! Bulma seems, already has a rival!, than interesting! '.) ... I can assume that both women would fight for the love of a Prince, It would be exciting. But while it's a bit cheesy I hope than You do not interpret bad to me, I'd mean that when you progress more chapters of your story, I think there will be many heartbreak, tragedies, deceit and betrayal. So I can not expect any more by next to chapter you to upgrade soon.
3/31/2015 c1 11SailorJupiter001
plz plz plz update soon.

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