for A Potter in Ravenclaw1/23/2022 c7 loonylovegood
Is this all ? It's okay but I am impressed
Is this all ? It's okay but I am impressed
10/26/2016 c7 GwathrenLight
Hello there - as you said I noticed a change in your writing style, and for the better, I have to say.
The constant changing POVs are a bit disorienting and to be honest don't do much for the flow of the story.
A couple of points I'd like to make though, and I don't know if you've changed your mind about these, but I'll mention them anyway.
First - the usual "Muggles have great inventions and wizards are stuck in the middle ages" rant. True, Muggles have made leaps in every field - but you're trying to compare two things that are at the opposite sides of a spectrum.
How can an airplane compare to a portkey or apparition, basically teleporting through space. Or there are self-writing and inking quills, since you mentioned Ballpoint pens. Muggle don't have those, do they.
As for the parchment vs paper debate, well, there might be magical qualities to the parchment that aren't explained or detailed.
It's not a harsh critique, but it's trying to compare two different and opposed realities.
As for the second one - I dearly hope you don't belong to the "poor Sevvie and those bad bad bullies, he's just a victim" club.
It has been said numerous times that Snape gave as good as he got, and much of the animosity stemmed from Snape's interest in the Dark Arts, and let's say it, his basically unhealthy obsession with Lily.
Just wanted to mention these points, otherwise you have a very interesting story going on here
Hello there - as you said I noticed a change in your writing style, and for the better, I have to say.
The constant changing POVs are a bit disorienting and to be honest don't do much for the flow of the story.
A couple of points I'd like to make though, and I don't know if you've changed your mind about these, but I'll mention them anyway.
First - the usual "Muggles have great inventions and wizards are stuck in the middle ages" rant. True, Muggles have made leaps in every field - but you're trying to compare two things that are at the opposite sides of a spectrum.
How can an airplane compare to a portkey or apparition, basically teleporting through space. Or there are self-writing and inking quills, since you mentioned Ballpoint pens. Muggle don't have those, do they.
As for the parchment vs paper debate, well, there might be magical qualities to the parchment that aren't explained or detailed.
It's not a harsh critique, but it's trying to compare two different and opposed realities.
As for the second one - I dearly hope you don't belong to the "poor Sevvie and those bad bad bullies, he's just a victim" club.
It has been said numerous times that Snape gave as good as he got, and much of the animosity stemmed from Snape's interest in the Dark Arts, and let's say it, his basically unhealthy obsession with Lily.
Just wanted to mention these points, otherwise you have a very interesting story going on here
10/25/2016 c7 ReadbelowNOW
This is hurricane potter 123, bye the way. I love your storys. I just really want you to update more often!
This is hurricane potter 123, bye the way. I love your storys. I just really want you to update more often!
10/25/2016 c7 magitech
Liked how Hooch finally did something to save a student as opposed to canon where she just stood there while Neville was in deadly danger. One flying instructor for around 20 kids is ridiculous when many have never been on a broom before.
Liked how Hooch finally did something to save a student as opposed to canon where she just stood there while Neville was in deadly danger. One flying instructor for around 20 kids is ridiculous when many have never been on a broom before.
10/25/2016 c7 
71Nigelcat1
This is a great story. I especially like it that Harry has quickly found some real friends. As to the poll on Ronnikins - they shouldn't be friends as Ron would just try to force Harry to goof off and his grades to suffer. Besides, aren't Gryffs famous for not making friends with other houses?
71Nigelcat1This is a great story. I especially like it that Harry has quickly found some real friends. As to the poll on Ronnikins - they shouldn't be friends as Ron would just try to force Harry to goof off and his grades to suffer. Besides, aren't Gryffs famous for not making friends with other houses?
8/22/2016 c6 DeathlyDreamshade
Please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please update
Please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please update
2/21/2016 c4 Lamorak Korving
Being a Ravenclaw myself, though one that is not known at Hogwarts since I
attend classes in a disused classroom and stay in the shadows, I am simply
known as the Guardian of Ravenclaw. That said, I can easily see Harry being
friends with Padma Patil.
Being a Ravenclaw myself, though one that is not known at Hogwarts since I
attend classes in a disused classroom and stay in the shadows, I am simply
known as the Guardian of Ravenclaw. That said, I can easily see Harry being
friends with Padma Patil.
12/10/2015 c6 11Renata MM
The fact that Hermione is in the list of characters is a little concerning, but your story seems good.
I really like how just being in another House (and away from Ron's bad influence), makes Harry different. He is studying and socializing with persons of another houses. I hope that he stay in this path.
Stephen is a nice guy and I hope that he doesn't die. Padma is great, combining brain and courage. But I would love to see more of the other 'Claws.
11Renata MMThe fact that Hermione is in the list of characters is a little concerning, but your story seems good.
I really like how just being in another House (and away from Ron's bad influence), makes Harry different. He is studying and socializing with persons of another houses. I hope that he stay in this path.
Stephen is a nice guy and I hope that he doesn't die. Padma is great, combining brain and courage. But I would love to see more of the other 'Claws.
12/10/2015 c6 Guest
I urge you not to just rehash cannon from a different house.
I urge you not to just rehash cannon from a different house.
8/22/2015 c5 5Potterwatcher
Oh ho ho, go Padma! You actually made Draco think about what his father told him!
You did a really good job with both Filius and Draco's characters, so don't be afraid to keep switching POVs. My only advice is that you make sure that each POV is about the length of Filius's or longer, otherwise they could end up getting a little choppy.
Your story is really starting to get interesting, I can't wait until you update again! Good luck!
5PotterwatcherOh ho ho, go Padma! You actually made Draco think about what his father told him!
You did a really good job with both Filius and Draco's characters, so don't be afraid to keep switching POVs. My only advice is that you make sure that each POV is about the length of Filius's or longer, otherwise they could end up getting a little choppy.
Your story is really starting to get interesting, I can't wait until you update again! Good luck!
8/22/2015 c4 Potterwatcher
Awwwwe, Neville is so cute in this scene! And Harry is helping to cure his insecurities without even knowing it.
I like how Harry is actually planning to do something about his home life. It's good to know that his trust in people wasn't completely destroyed by the Dursleys.
I love it so far- great work!
Awwwwe, Neville is so cute in this scene! And Harry is helping to cure his insecurities without even knowing it.
I like how Harry is actually planning to do something about his home life. It's good to know that his trust in people wasn't completely destroyed by the Dursleys.
I love it so far- great work!
8/22/2015 c3 Potterwatcher
You know, I really like the way that you're portraying Ravenclaw house, it sound like a good, diverse environment in which Harry will really learn to value other points of view.
Okay, I just have to ask; are you going to have Harry befriend Luna next year?
Awesome chapter; keep up the good work!
You know, I really like the way that you're portraying Ravenclaw house, it sound like a good, diverse environment in which Harry will really learn to value other points of view.
Okay, I just have to ask; are you going to have Harry befriend Luna next year?
Awesome chapter; keep up the good work!