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for Kid Icarus ll Ascend

8/12/2015 c1 Guest
Bull
5/11/2015 c2 3Asian Ascian
Wow, sorry for not reviewing for a while, I haven't been able to get to this yet XD

Anyways, I like the lightness of the story, despite the foreshadowing conversations that talk about what is still to come. Although I was a little hesitant about Dark Pit's absolute ridiculousness, which seemed out of character for him, I still found the chapter enjoyable. But, I suggest trying to make Dark Pit more frustrated than depressed, just to make him seem more like the Dark Pit we all know. Just a little nitpicky thing XD
Other than that, I'd say this reboot is a go! I'll be waiting eagerly for the next chapter!
4/28/2015 c2 2BetterTitles
Great chapter! I dont really review often cause I get really busy with school. But great chapter anyways! Bye!

BetterTitles
4/23/2015 c2 Soulthy
I like the lightness in your writing, stories that are too serious kinda put me down so go on with how you're writing. In this chapter I was a little disappointed in the shortness of the word count and felt unsatisfied at the end. I understand you didn't want to delay the chapter but I was looking forward to the greatness of all your other chapters in FL. Even so I still enjoyed reading, Dark Pit is more attachable now and I thought it was a better approach not to have Pandora and him fighting. I would recommend not to have a big author's note and a small word count chapter still so keep to that chef! Update soon!
4/23/2015 c1 Soulthy
Oh hey I didn't think this was out hehe, ah I'm here now so let's get this review going. One thing first though, the Before They Became a Legend thing at the end. judging by how large Thanatos's is... I don't think Pandora or Phoshora's is finished? Did you accidently add it in? Double check that please. As for the Preface, I thought it was great. Background check is always great for the newbies, oh but what's this? Human war? I hope I see this story to it's end!
4/23/2015 c2 Guest
pretty nice
wonder how Haties is going to make an army now

thanks for responding to my review about Madusa being the opposite of Palutena. I do think she would be a better choice for Dark Pit but if she came back...how would things work with her and Palutena? would they be rivals like Pit and Dark Pit or just become friends?

and besides, if she just wanted to be left alone she could just put up a sign in front of her castle in the underworld that says" do not disturb or you will die"

but this looks good so far, hope to see more from you soon
4/19/2015 c1 7Sirana
This looks promising! Can't wait to see how the story unfolds!
4/9/2015 c1 Guest
it look's interesting

could've Dark Pit gone with Madusa?
since Madusa is pretty much Dark Palutena
but Pandora is good enough
it's just a small nit pick you dont' have to change it

wonder what this one will be about
4/6/2015 c1 ClausMix
I like how you enforced the idea of how the god's or goddess's actions effect the human world. And I like where this is going, FL was one of my favorites and seeing how you're putting more into it makes me so hyped!
4/5/2015 c1 3Asian Ascian
Whoohoo! Yay!
Anyways, cool preface! I like how you explained the back story of the...story...to help both the old and new readers gain a better understanding of what's going on! I can't wait to see what you have in store for this! I'll be waiting eagerly for the next chapter
4/3/2015 c1 DeceasedKid
Nicely done chef! Looking forward on how this'll play out, by the preface it sounds like you're taking on the serious route. Also no problem I'm here for help, keep up with updates and work on those characters! Stay awesome!
4/3/2015 c1 AnthonyAntwon
Hey Jam :) Did you get a new 3DS? You haven't been on in forever. I remember how good you were at gaming and at writing fanfictions.
4/2/2015 c1 1pitfall115
Wow! This is really good. In this case, I noticed your focus heavily shifted on being able to summarize and reciprocate information in a quick manner, but also use that spicy vocabulary of your's. Oh. I kinda sound like a language arts teacher now... Anyway, really good, keep a good sense of rythym, but don't stay too fast when you built the charachters enough. If you keep the detail, unto a slightly slower speed until reaching the climax, you will definitely rock this idea! As per usual, keep up the good work! :D
4/2/2015 c1 monadomastershulk
SHIP

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