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for Where the Worm Dies Not

6/12/2016 c1 10Wordspin
An eerie piece, haunting, filled with fire and regret and sadness. This exchange almost sent shivers down my spine: '"How long do you think it will take us?" . . . "To join them? . . . I thought we had already."'
1/6/2016 c1 2Amateur Bacon Cook
This is extremely powerful, and you should be proud of this. The way you skip around vastly different points in time without so much as a line-break really reflects the chaos into which Maedhros and Maglor's lives have descended.

I also really like the way you continually explore the eternity and world-weariness of the Elves – I think that the weariness of the world is one of the most fan-fiction-able things about them, if you understand me.

Your use of metaphors is liberal, but I'll forgive you for it as it doesn't ruin the effect. :-)
A.B.C.
12/13/2015 c1 10GingerRogers15
Ohhhhh ... This. This is beautiful. This is beautiful because of its dark tragedy and hopelessness and resignation to fate and death. While reading I got this horrible feeling of being sucked into a black hole- much like Maglor's nightmare and the analogy of the math equation ... And the ending ... With the decrescendo ... Oh this was so beautiful and powerful and I got chills ... I was never really a fan of first person present tense but you write it so excellently that you've changed my mind. I am honestly rendered speechless by this. I am not an emotional reader but you brought me very close to tears- you should feel accomplished ;) Keep up the amazing work - I look forward to reading more of your creations.

p.s. Thank you for your review on the Ballad! Once I fix the formatting issues I'm having I plan on publishing more stories. Also PM me if you want, I'm very introverted and probably borderline antisocial around strangers (not to mention being untrustworthy) but I'm also very analytical and introspective I think we'd have some interesting conversations (Lord knows everyone else around me is tired of hearing me blab about Tolkien) so anyways. Keep up the amazing work! you are an extremely talented author.
11/20/2015 c1 15Ellethiriel
This story... HURT ME.

How. On earth. Did you do this? Your writing is amazing. I have no words for this. It hurt, but I love it. It's so full of despair, but I love it. I nearly cried.

One of the most gutwrenching parts was the flashback to the pyres in Doriath, particularly the part where Maglor was thinking of Turco, his "beautiful brother who could speak to doves." Oh my word.

And the description of the Everlasting Darkness comparing it to that graph! I have never done calculus (if that's what it was?), but I still understood it, and oh my goodness, it was horrible and perfect.

One small thing I don't quite understand: apparently the twins gave the order to abandon Eluréd and Elurín in the woods, and according to the first small flashback Maglor seemed quite aware of it and tried to stop them. But in the Doriath flashback Telvo had to tell him about it, saying that Turco had given the order. Seems conflicting; did I miss something?

But all in all, this was wretchedly beautiful in a horrible, haunting way. You are disgustingly amazing, and this is on my favorites list.
4/15/2015 c1 112AzureSkye23
Oh, gosh, Crackers, I think I might just be sick. You do sensory details so well, and the ones in this...Seriously. Nasty. (and I really do mean that as a complement)
4/11/2015 c1 46The Wayfaring Strangers
Wow. This is beautiful and terrible. I love how you said the spark was like a king's tear and how he wouldn't drop the kindling - that was brilliant foreshadowing. Your images and metaphors are flawless, as usual. :)
-Celt
4/10/2015 c1 mornnenn
Oh my gosh. I loved the opening line and how you managed to incorporate it into the whole thread of the story with the graphs. Because it was awesome. And Elves doing mathematics makes me happy. So very happy.

I loved how graphically horrific the violence of this story was, if you can say you love such a thing. The descriptions of the suffering that will forever be seared in their memories - Elves remember events as if they are living them again, horrors as well as the joys. And such horrors.

You have such beautiful comparisons and metaphors. I loved how you talked about visions like a kaleidoscope.

The way that Maedhros started to hate and almost fear his brothers. Like he knew he could come to that, didn't want to come to that. And Maglor living on and on, never ending.

Feanor with his need to protect the minds. Maglor's stammering words. The feeling of being constrained, contracting, being pulled inside of oneself over and over while someone is waiting for an answer you do not know and do not wish to give. 'He dreams things I'd weep to sing of'

My one tiny problem with the story is I cannot, for the life of me, imagine Elves on Valinor knowing about gamecocks fighting in a ring. I can imagine that the roosters would still fight each other, but I really can't imagine Elves watching it as a sport.

I just adored how the brothers are fighting amongst each other - their animosity - and how you portrayed it slowly and sadly through memories, through bits of information that they learn, that they don't want to know.

I loved how Maglor held the fire, didn't drop the fire. How he would later burn his hand.

'We live in a downward spiral of smaller and smaller vortices, and one day they'll shrink me till I forget how to sing.' Such a beautiful tragedy. And you have captured it so well. Although I do seem to be the only reviewer not crying, not horribly saddened by this. I felt more drawn away from them, out from them. Like someone watching from a distance, calculating tragedies. I feel like Maglor is more distant - distant from himself, and that has affected me.
4/9/2015 c1 45Thalion Estel
This is an incredibly deep and vivid story. The scenes are so real and painful that I can easily place myself inside the tale. But the emotions are what really hit home. Your portrayal of the anguish and emptiness inside even the living sons of Feanor is extremely well written. What a disturbing yet perfect representation of, well, what hell may be like. It's a chilling reminder of the truth that we try to forget, but it's also a reason to be grateful for Christ's sacrifice which frees us from the fear of that eternal spiral into nothingness. It is so reassuring to know that we can always sing; our song will never be quenched and bound up. We get to go further up and further in instead of further down and further into oblivion. Great work, Crackers; very, very well done.
4/8/2015 c1 russandolly
*lays down on floor and retires from life*

by my blessed bark, that fuckgkng hurt. absolutely beautiful. those sad fucks. stupid children. i am done. i am wrecked.

u have wrecked me my friend, ur writing has wrecked me.
4/8/2015 c1 24Galad Estel
Ah! Bravo! Encore! This was truly fantastic! You explored the very depths of Maglor's soul in this and wow it goes down deep. Not always so pretty but beautiful just the same. And Maedhros was also strikingly portrayed, so dark and desperate. I loved that he said he kind of hated his brothers. That was just very open. There was very raw quality to both Maglor and Maedhros.

I love you mentioned the sea star at the beginning of the piece. It really started off the thread of science and math that wondrously punctuates story, while being a beautiful symbol on its own. Maglor wishing it was whole, like he is wishing he were whole.

The whole sense of decay and rottenness in this work was overwhelming. I loved how you didn't try to spare the reader any pain. You did not embellish the beauty of the dead, but wrote them as they would be - corpses who will rot out if the fire doesn't touch them first.

Though the sea scape and the dead brothers was powerfully breathtaking, I have to say my favorite part of the story was actually the flashback with Feanor giving the helmets to his sons. Your characterization all the brothers was so developed in such a short space of time, and I love how Maglor feels he is owned by his father. There was just this sense that even from the very beginning everything was futile.

I also loved your use of mathematics in this. The graph with the descending line that never stops, never completely reaches zero, being compared to everlasting darkness was just mind-blowing. It was also great because you were showing that the Noldor aren't living in the Middle-ages or something. They are smart. They know things that were later lost. This was just astounding, truly astounding.

Please keep writing, I need you to keep making me sad.
4/7/2015 c1 orcristhorin
That was so beautifully written, your prose is gorgeous. I'm crying, that was so sad and yet so beautiful.
4/7/2015 c1 19Quantumphysica
This was gut-wrenching, and I loved it. I loved how stream-of-consciousness-like it was, all those scenes following each other almost seamlessly in Maglor's memory. It had something unhinged, the bitterness was almost tangible. Beautiful writing!
4/7/2015 c1 5Ruadhnait
I read this on one of the computers at the public library, and people are actually looking at me funny because I'm crying. I shit you not, I am crying.

I hate that you do this to me, every time. I'm not trying to flatter you here. I wish you didn't write so well. I wish every single thing you write didn't make me want to give on fanfiction entirely. You don't have to thank me for saying this; I am continually floored by how well you write.

Okay. I think I've gotten over how emotional this made me, so I guess I'll try to list some of the things I liked the best? (Or I don't know if "like" is the right word. I kind of hated this story. I kind of hate things that make me cry like this from how beautiful they are.) I wish FFn hadn't taken away the cut-and-paste function so I could point out the phrases that especially took my breath away.

Okay, I LOVED where you started talking about calculus. That did make me happy. The way you wrote so beautifully about the equations never quite reaching zero, never quite converging to a specific point but just going on forever, lost in the infinite progression of tinier and tinier fractions - I'm not entirely sure that you hate calculus as much as you say you do. I really loved that part. And similarly, you say you have no musical talent, but I'm inclined to disbelieve that, given that you can still remember musical terms like "coda" and "decrescendo." Those were beautifully woven into the narrative.

Your descriptions of Amrod and Amras' corpses were horrifying, as they should have been. You didn't mince words, and I appreciate that.

I think I started crying when Maedhros, Maglor, Amrod, and Amras were burning their brothers in Doriath. It was ... too sad, and too beautifully written. It has been a long time since a fanfic made me cry. I loved "entropy" and "a case of gangrene" but neither of those made me cry. I fangirl continually over Min Daae's work, but with a few exceptions, none of it has made me cry. This did. That should give you an idea of how well this was written. I applaud you.

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