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for When fate comes knocking

4/24/2021 c1 Guest
it was great!
9/19/2020 c26 1pokefan95
Aww as an avid altoshipper myself, this chapter is such a joy to read. Ash is everything to Latias and there is nothing she wouldn't do in order for him to achieve his dreams. I can't wait to see how the fight with Tobias will go down. So Latias is going to mega evolve, but would it be enough for Ash to beat 6 legendaries?
9/19/2020 c25 pokefan95
This is a really creative concept. So Malice and Tobias are basically the guardians of fate. In the anime, Tobias appeared with no explanation on who he is and why he is so OP. Your story actually provides an interesting explanation for it.
9/18/2020 c13 pokefan95
Holy crap the backstory of Malice and Frolass is totally dope! Initially I was only here to enjoy the fluff of my favourite pairing Ash and Latias but the story has really turned interesting at this point and I can't wait to find out the the identity of 'It' and Tobias. Well done!
6/29/2020 c31 Guest
Well the rule where Ash can’t win a league is broken since he won the Alola League.
5/15/2020 c2 2T2thehomas77798
Hello again, The sometimes a huggable mudkip has returned.

So this chapter is better written less things to correct. I must also admit I did like the biology lesson from Brock , very enjoyable. The random storm is spooky as well. But the thing I think is most foreshadowing is Tobias have I a mystery conversation with an unknown figure. We also have a name for that character who attacked the girls. Malice yes a very scary name indeed. Although he does seem to have a fear for fire and when connecting the dots it’s obvious he’s the one Tobias wants to kill. Poor Lorenzo though maybe if he had used any other type of pokemon he wouldn’t have been punched quite so hard.
That’s all for now but I will be back
5/13/2020 c1 T2thehomas77798
Hello Rem, It is I everybody’s favourite Mudkip/Groudon Thomas. So I have just reread the first chapter and I must say the plot is going very strong I definitely enjoyed it. I also took the liberty of attacking it with a spell/grammar checker which I’ll send you shortly. But overall very enjoyable I love how Latias is portrayed in this and I can’t wait to see what happens in ch2. Well I say that I know what’s going to happen but I look forward to re-finding out what happens.
4/17/2020 c31 4ArcyAnderson
Hello, again!

The chapter title is actually When fate comes knocking. Roll Credits! *Ding*

Anyway, I’ve made it! At long last, I’m in the very last chapter of your story! Let’s see what you’ve got! Last we left, apparently fate itself had whisked Latias and Ash away into the unknown. So, let’s see what this is all about.

Fate is a pretty tough and complex entity, is it not? Also, I have to admit, I really like the style in which you are writing this chapter. This sort of same-time but different-perspective conversation going on between Fate, Ash and Latias is actually pretty cool and well done. It’s easy to follow and not confusing in the slightest, yet it gives these mysterious vibes extremely well.

Ooooh, let me tell you that those are two very specific alternate universe descriptions that you’ve got here, Syrup-Waffle. The first one I’m almost 99.9% sure is Dragonfall. A Fanfic that I will be reading shortly now that I’ve finished this story. The other one is pretty obviously my own story, the A New Chance Series. I must say, thank you for the shout-out and the reference! It was pretty nice to read! So, ANC confirmed as a side-AU of WFCK? Hm? Hehehehe! Thanks for this shout-out, it was pretty awesome to read.

Wow, damn. Wait, is the universe really going to fall apart because Ash won a League? Damn, those are some pretty bad and pretty dire consequences. However, part of me thinks this may not be true, since we’ve been shown before that Fate has lost and the universe didn’t fall apart. But, Ash winning a League is a pretty serious transgression.

Well, yeah, it’s pretty sad that the only way to preserve the integrity of the universe is to have you lose, Ash. That sucks, but if there is no other way, then you should do it. I do have to insert a comment here. Is it really that bad? Let’s be honest, the tournament is just a tournament. Eh. Look at what you have obtained through this ordeal as it is: The love of your life. Let’s be honest, love is more important than success in this regard. So, is it really that stingy that you can’t win? Latias is worth far more than the trophy, and in the end, now that you have her, you have found true happiness. In the end, even if you don’t win, you won Latias. Who is far more valuable than any tournament will ever be.

Ooooh, so it was all a ruse! Hahaha, damn Fate, you are cheeky. That was actually a pretty tough test. I do love how this confirms the whole central argument of Fate vs Love. And, in the end, that Ash and Latias have defeated Fate through the power of love. And thus, it’s official! Ash has won the Sinnoh League!

The celebrations are pretty awesome and catchy, and I have to say, the detail of Ash flying on Latias’ back so he could high-five the crowd is actually pretty awesome and I liked it. It’s actually pretty good!

Oh, wow. I love how last review I complained that it was odd that Latios (Latias’ brother) has so far gone unmentioned throughout the entire story. But, in the end, he gets a very lovely Lion King-esque mention at the end and I have to say, I absolutely loved it. It was magical, fantastic, and a pretty awesome way to give him his only showing in the story.

That little girl segment at the end was very intriguing. So, who is she? The fact she has a burned Froslass plush makes me think that she’s Malice and Solace’s daughter. So, they birthed Hope? And thus, their daughter also played a role in defeating Mayhem? Damn, gotta admit. It’s really awesome how this fanfic did a full circle on so many of its characters, themes and its plot. Malice and his family were truly the ones who laid the entire foundation for Tobias/Mayhem to be defeated in the end. So, that wraps up the story’s point so well: Hope and Love defeating Fate.

You know, for all the trouble he caused, Malice actually did so much for the greater good and he succeeded in paving the road for Mayhem’s defeat. You know what? I wish him well. Rest in Peace, Malice/Thomas. As well as you, Julia/Solace/Froslass, and you, little Hope. Rest in peace, all 3 of you. Know that you have been avenged and Mayhem has paid for what he did to you.

Speaking of Mayhem, going by my question in a previous review about what exactly were Mayhem’s Legendaries. What’s going to become of them now that Mayhem has died/ceased existing?

And with that, the story’s over! I must say, this story was a blast! I loved reading it! I still think you should one day come back to it and give it a touch up now that you have vastly improved in your writing, Syrup-Waffle, because it’s every bit worth it.

Reading your Author Notes. Yeah, I wholeheartedly agree. This Fanfic’s premise, plot and concept is actually extremely unique. And I really loved it. You built a really awesome the storyline. Many of its elements will get praise from me, but the one that stood out the most to me, which will not surprise you because I have said so before in my reviews: It’s Malice/Thomas, Tobias/Mayhem and Ash. Their trifecta worked splendidly, and you did an amazing job at knitting the plot and those 3 characters together in a terrific manner that made it all work so well. They were very compelling and drove the story really well.

I also greatly enjoy how well you tied the events of real life and the Pokémon franchise to the 4 Guardians of Fate. That’s actually a very clever parallel that you’ve created and I think it’s another thing that serves to give this story so much of its unique charm.

Thank you for the shout out in your author notes, because guess what? I have indeed read it now. And have given you a huge review in every chapter. I hope you have loved them! Thank you for writing this, and it was a huge pleasure to read through it.

And with this, my commentary for your story is officially over. I wish you all the well in the world and congratulations for finishing this amazing story, Syrup-Waffle!

Your Friend,
4/17/2020 c30 ArcyAnderson
Hello, again!

So, last time we left of, it’s Latias against everything Tobias has left. Namely: a Victini, and unknown Legendary as of the start of the chapter and a Latios. Damn, the Latios is going to probably be a pretty painful fight for Latias, since, well, she’s very touchy on the Latios subject I presume. Her brother’s death wasn’t too long ago and she may still be hurt about it. By the way, I just noticed. Latios wasn’t ever brought up in this story. I mean, his failure to save Latios was probably one of Ash’s biggest failures, so it’s probably something that would have been brought up. Perhaps a comment would have been nice? Anyway! Still, let’s see if the power of love can defeat the power of fate.

Huh, why’s Ash so nervous all of a sudden? And why is Latias so nervous all of a sudden too? I mean, there’s only one real straightforward way now. Send Latias out to the field and hope she ca the rest of Tobias’ team. Which, at the moment, seems pretty impossible. Even with her hidden surprise of Mega Evolution. At least, it’s to note, she completely walls Victini. So that one’s gonna be relatively easy. Now let’s hope that Tobias’ unnamed Legendary is one she has a good matchup with as well. However, it does make me question why Ash called a Timeout since there seems to be no reason to.

Actually, that’s a pretty good point. Latias and Ash are clearly very worked up about something and that something is… apparently not related to Tobias. You know, that’s actually probably pretty terrifying for Tobias. Imagine you’re a powerful enforcer of one of the most potent forcers of the universe (Fate itself) and someone who is fighting you directly isn’t afraid of you but something else entirely? Yeah, either you’re doing your job really badly or something very suspicious is up. Something is actually seriously wrong with Tobias. Huh.

I’m very confused right now. What… are Ash and Latias up to? Why are they so worked up all of a sudden? Is this because of something being wrong with Latias’ Mega Evolution? Or is this related to their ace in some manner and they’re nervous it’ll work? Gosh, they’re really badly worked up and I’m getting worked up too because I have no idea what is going on.

“Fate is not set in stone.” Referencing the quote that I mentioned in my earlier review. If its not set in stone, then is it really fate? Still, yeah, yeah, I get it. That’s actually a pretty powerful message. Is fate truly set in stone? One never knows.

Wait, why’s Ash asking for a microphone? Are trainers even allowed to give speeches in the stadium in the middle of matches? Well, he does have a twenty-minute timeout that he can consume however he likes. Anyway, let’s see what he’s up to. I mean, even if he exposed Tobias’ identity as a force of nature in front of the thousands of people watching, I heavily doubt they’d believe him. Tobias would probably have a credibility advantage in that regard. Also, I love how Ash starts speaking with “Ladies, Gentlemen, Tobias.” I got a kick out of how he completely excludes Tobias as something else, like he’s soft-mocking him for not being entirely human and thus not including him in the honorifics.

Wait, what? What!? WHAT!? Is he seriously going to do what I think he’s about to do? Oh no, Oh no no no no no. Ash, you’re… what the hell!? Are you going to expose yourself and Latias to the world? How is that going to help you!? I… I don’t even know any more. Okay, I’ll admit that I was definitely caught off-guard by this. I’ve only just read Ash’s first question but it’s now extremely obvious what he’s gonna do and yeah now I can see why he and Latias were so worked up earlier.

Still, why? What sort of advantage over Tobias could they get by exposing themselves and their relationship? I mean, they’re essentially opening a pandora’s box of questions, controversy and potentially criminal sanctions by doing so entirely on themselves while leaving Tobias relatively unaffected.

Actually, let me think this through for a few moments. I mean, I’ve already identified that a central theme of this story is how Love can defeat Fate as an equally powerful universal force, but I’m not entirely sure I’m seeing how this will give them an advantage over Fate and its core enforcer. Unless maybe this is playing to the other unaccounted enforcer of fate? That’d be Benevolence. And, Benevolence has to be benevolent, right? Still. I’m trying to figure out Ash and Latias’ game plan here. The only other thing I’m thinking is that maybe, maybe, somehow, revealing themselves would cancel/eradicate Tobias’ purpose? Kind of like how Malice died once he had no purpose left and he was repeatedly telling Tobias that he lost. If they can cancel Tobias’ purpose by changing their fate, would that mean they can win and Tobias’ presence here would stop serving purpose? Yeah, I’m probably massively overthinking this.

Yep, he did. He just exposed himself to the world, and with what a clear display that leaves basically 0 room for questions. I do love how Tobias was completely in denial over it and how he got completely owned in the process. Nope, Tobias, this is not a Bluff and you are indeed lying to yourself if you tell yourself it is. It’s real and it’s happening. Also, noting how nervous Bianca, Brock and Dawn were. I think Ash and Latias could have told them their plan to get some input from it. Could have been useful, very useful. Also, I do have to notice in the added reactions that Cynthia is grinning. Did she have an inkling of this?

Anyway, I have to pay special attention to one specific line from the omniscient narration of Ash’s feelings, how Latias was the reason no even fate was set in stone. So, I guess this confirms my theory or assumption that one of the central themes of this story is how Love can conquer Fate. After all, all the serious blows fate has suffered in this story have all derived from Love. I guess this means that Latias will in fact defeat Tobias’ remaining Pokémon and confirm Love as the superior universal force over Fate.

Also, have I told you that I have a slight suspicion that you like to write kisses? This is like the third or fourth intimate kiss you’ve written between them on top of countless smaller ones. Reminds me a lot of Dance Dance Revolution in that regard, hehe. Also, the fact they did it in the stadium was extremely gutsy on their part. Like I said, I’m not sure if that was the best decision since now… well, they’re going to probably face a lot of very annoying scrutiny and problems for years to come because of controversy. You know how much controversy fuels life and media. This isn’t gonna be fun for them. Though, I do love how this included a marriage proposal. That was adorable to read, not gonna lie. It included marriage! I do also have to note how Ash’s a marriage made Tobias/Mayhem be described as a “a dying animal desperate to survive.” So I guess the love declaration is vastly weakening him in some manner. So, this was their ace? Pretty powerful.

Yeah, Tobias has completely lost his composure, clearly. Damn. Ash and Latias’ declaration really did a number on him. Well, Tobias. If Pokémon and Human Relationships aren’t illegal, just heavily frowned upon, according to the author’s description of the topic on the matter… then I don’t think Ash can be disqualified. Sure, he’s going to have to deal with a gigantic amount of controversy nipping at his butt for the rest of his life, but it’s not entirely illegal and as such not grounds for him to be disqualified. Also, Tobias, you should have just reported Ash for barging into your room, lol. You had an easy way to get him kicked out of the tournament and thus fulfil your purpose and you completely blew it. Now you’re getting destroyed royally.

Thank you for providing some voice of reason, Bianca. It’s very much appreciated! Also, I’m very much stupefied that Paul of all people seconded her. That was very much out of the blue and caught me off guard. Damn, Paul’s gone through a full 180, hasn’t he? Anyway, they do have a point, which I referenced in my earlier paragraph. The battle must go on. This is the grand finals, after all! Also, damn, Tobias is completely rekt. Yeah, such is the power of love. Fate, has lost.

Oooh, and Latias triggers her Mega Evolution! The time to fight has come! What are you going to do about it, Tobias? Yikes, there goes Victini. Clean one hit knock out. Yeah, Tobias is completely out of his game right now. It seems Ash and Latias’ love and marriage declaration worked like a charm and had its intended effect. Tobias is completely destabilized now. Also, I’m going to throw my guess out there that the voice who Tobias is hearing in his head is either his boss (Basically, Fate itself) or the fourth guardian of Fate, Benevolence. Let’s see if I’m right. Also, the voice that keeps chanting “Fate is not set in stone” to Ash and Latias, my guess will also be applied here. It’s either Benevolence or Fate itself.

And, Tobias’ fifth Pokémon is a Virizion. Yeah, that sucks. Virizion gets completely walled by Latias. Like Victini, that’s an extremely bad type matchup. Here’s where I’m going to reprimand you, Tobias. You knew Ash had Latias and that Latias was Ash’s final and strongest Pokémon. The fact you saved two Pokémon with horrendous matchups against her for the endgame was definitely on you, Tobias. That was a complete and total screw up on your part. You could have easily deployed either Victini or Virizion earlier in the fight and instead saved Articuno for Latias. Of course, not that it’d matter in the end with him being so destabilized, but, it’s still a glaring flaw in his plans.

Okay, that’s actually a really interesting twist. Really makes me heavily question Malice’s game plan from the very start. So, perhaps, in the end, Malice actually got his revenge on Mayhem. In the end, Malice won. If Malice was in truth the grandmaster in this sequence of events, then oh damn did he set up Mayhem for defeat hard. In the end, I guess Malice was right. Tobias lost. Indeed, Tobias lost. Tobias had lost even before the fight had started. Also, I’m pretty sure I’ve commented on this before, but I think the whole concept of fate and its four guardians, as well as the duo of Tobias/Mayhem and Thomas/Malice, has been perhaps one of the most outstanding parts of this story and I have really loved reading every bit of it.

Hm, I have to admit, while I was pretty sad you completely skipped Latias vs Virizion, I think the way you wrote Latios vs Latias was actually pretty interesting. Basically, an offscreen beatdown from Tobias’ broken POV. That approach was pretty good and I really liked it! I think it was very well done! However, I do think it could be even better. For most of the story, Latios has been shown to be kind of like Tobias’ second in command. So, I think he should have probably had a slightly bigger role, perhaps talking to Latias or trying harder to snap Tobias out of it. Perhaps you could gloss some extra detail on it rather than show him as such an afternote, and I think it’d totally come out as an even more awesome scene than it already is. Regardless of my suggestion, I repeat: I really liked it.

Also, serious question. So, Tobias’ team here is Darkrai, Latios, Articuno, Raikou, Virizion and Victini. Curiously, what are they? Are they really Legendaries or are they fake Legendaries created by Fate to serve him? How do they work under Mayhem? Or, how did that working relationship start? Did Fate give him those Legendaries or are they real Legendaries that knowingly work for Fate? Questions!

Ash has won! Congratulations, kiddo! You have defeated your fate and have become the champion! Big time congratulations! Oh wait, what’s going on? Huh, it seems like Ash’s winning if the Sinnoh League has caused a glitch in life. Lol. Oh no! Life has bricked! Life has suffered a Blue Screen of Death! Also, damn, so apparently this is fate itself? Oh no. Really curious where this is going! Only one chapter left! Must read on!
4/16/2020 c29 ArcyAnderson
Hello, again!

Tobias, let’s be real, you’ve so far used a Darkrai and Articuno. I don’t think there was ever any play time regarding you to begin with. I do like how even though he appears to be perfectly calm, he’s actually pretty pissed off. Ash and Latias are totally doing a number on him and are totally getting under his skin. Also, something that Latias did mention last chapter that I didn’t comment on. It’s good that Tobias has wasted two Pokémon with a very positive matchup to Latias early on. Those are two good Pokémon to get out of the way. And, Tobias’ third Pokémon is… Raikou! Pretty cool!

So, Ash sends out Sceptile to fight Tobias’ Raikou. Pretty good option to resists electric-type attacks. Also, I gotta note that Ash brought a really powerful lineup to this battle. Snorlax, Charizard, Latias (Obviously) and now Sceptile? It’s like he just grabbed his six strongest and decided to roll with that. Wow.

Fun fact: The attack is actually called Leaf Blade, not Leaf Sword xD Though, I gotta admit Leaf Sword sounds pretty boss. Though, Zacian may have something to say about sword-wielding Pokémon because, well, Zacian is supposed to be the top sword-wielding Pokémon. Anyway! Off to Raikou vs Sceptile we go! I wonder what kind of wacky strategy Ash is going to use to beat Raikou and further throw Tobias off.

I really like how even though Tobias’ counter strategy worked and he got Sceptile good, he still finds respect for him by the fact that Raikou was visibly stunned by the sheer power behind that Leaf Blade attack. Though, yeah, Raikou and Tobias have completely control of this now that Sceptile is paralyzed. Sometimes, gotta remember Tobias is mostly a gentleman and not an evil person. Or, evil force of the universe. Whichever way you want to describe him.

Oh no! Raikou has Hidden Power Ice? Yikes! That’s a big surprise. Yeah, Tobias knows what he’s doing. You have to get that fabled Bolt-Beam coverage, am I right? And, yeah, sadly that’s a clean knock out. Wow. This means Raikou’s Hidden Power was a One Hit KO, since Sceptile up to this point had only taken a non-damaging Thunder Wave? Hidden Power isn’t a hard hitting coverage move, so this Raikou is pretty strong.

Tobias clapping for Pikachu is either hypocritical or a very respectful thing, depending through which lens you want to view it. Hypocritical because he was the one who caused his hospitalization, and thus it’d be interpreted ore as mocking or just going with the flow of the crowd. However, if it’s respectful it could be an acknowledgement to Pikachu’s strength, since Pikachu prevailed against the attempt on his life and he’s ready to fight and keep going so fast. Even for a force of the universe like Mayhem, that has to be very impressive. Which, even if Tobias didn’t intend for that effect to be apparent in his action, it would probably impress him. Anyway, Ash’s plan is now fighting electricity with electricity, let’s see how that works out for him.

Sad Pikachu vs Raikou was mostly skimmed over, since I thought this could have made a pretty epic battle. Especially due to the personal vendetta that Pikachu has on Tobias. Anyway, it’s great to see Pikachu has claimed revenge and has defeated Tobias’ Raikou. And, in a very badass manner, too. That was awesome. Your decryptions at the end on Pikachu’s reactions and everything that was going on around him were pretty amazing too, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading them. Good job on that!

Ash’s decision to forfeit Pikachu was really sound and mature. I approve of it, and do follow Cynthia’s train of thought. That was well done by Ash. And, it’s also really nice to see that even Mayhem/Tobias is starting to be doubtful, and maybe even respectful. It’s to note that as much as Ash has been irritating him, Ash still isn’t his enemy. Ultimately, Tobias is just doing his job.

Tobias has 3 Pokémon left, Latios and two unknown Legendaries. Ash is sadly down to just Charizard and Latias. This is going to be tough. Very tough. Because… Tobias’ next Pokémon is Victini? Alright, this one I’m not sure if I expected it or didn’t expect it. I mean, with all of Tobias’ comments about how he always wins, a Victini is a surprisingly fitting Pokémon for him to have. After all, the victory star Pokémon for the always-winning trainer is a match made in heaven.

Bolt Strike!? Victini! That’s an event-only move! Oh gosh, Ash you better not let Charizard get hit with that because if he is, then it’s over. It’s so very much over. Damn insanely powerful electric attack. Lol. Thankfully, it’s in the name what type Bolt Strike is, so it’s kind of obvious Charizard shouldn’t want anything to do with it. And yeah, he was hit, and this was pretty much a straight and guaranteed one hit KO. There’s absolutely no surprise there.

Also, this means Latias must knock out three of Tobias’ Legendaries if she’s to give Ash the win. Damn, that’s a pretty steep hill to climb. However, this is where the power of love will definitely shine through at its strongest, and bring that universal showdown of love versus fate that I’ve been talking about in my latest series of reviews.

Hm, you know, Ash did bring up a pretty good point in his omniscient narration. What did they have to lose? Actually, yeah. They don’t have anything to lose right now. Tobias doesn’t want to kill them or anything, he just wants Ash to never win. If they lose to Tobias right now, then they can just prepare again and better for next year and try again. With Latias, Ash is so powerful that he’d be guaranteed to win a league without Tobias’ intervention, so that means Tobias would have to go to each league that Ash gets into time and time again. And eventually they could maybe pull through. After all, the more practice they have on Tobias, the better. Anyway, I’m very curious what this “ace” they’re talking about is, unless it’s just Latias’ Mega Evolution and I’m just reading it wrong. Anyway, onto next chapter we go!
4/16/2020 c28 ArcyAnderson
Hello, again!

Yep, indeed it’s finally time. The grand final of the Sinnoh League is here! Ash vs Tobias, Love vs Fate. Which powerful universal force shall emerge victorious? Time to find out! Also, I do find it amusing that to all people witnessing this fight it’s just “Ash vs Tobias” yet to them it’s a battle between two universal forces. Talk about hidden high stakes. Also, I’m going to throw out my prediction: The final clash of the battle is going to be between Tobias’ Latios and Ash’s Latias.

Pikachu is here, at last! Man, this has been perhaps the only odd detail of this story. Pikachu has literally been out of it since the start due to Malice’s poisoning of him. Ash and Pikachu are like a combo package, they come together and there isn’t one without the other. So, the fact Pikachu has been out of commission for the entirety of the story and is only now returning for the climax is pretty odd. Haha, not in a bad way, mind you. It’s just the quirks and twists of how storytelling works.

Lovely last moment scene between Ash, Pikachu and Latias. For they are about to face their greatest challenge so far. One final kiss, and off to face none other than Fate/Mayhem. That is going to be a really tough battle and yeah, Ash is right. A Mega Evolution surprise isn’t going to be enough to change the outcome. But, on the bright side, this does play to Ash’s strengths. Because, thinking outside the box is his specialty.

By the way, that quick line of “Fate is not set in stone” reminded me of a pretty interesting line from a Deleted Scene in Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest. Davy Jones tells Will Turner “Your Fate is to be married to this ship,” (Meaning the Flying Dutchman), Will responds with, “I choose my own Fate.” And it’s Davy Jones’ next reply that’s really good: “Then it wouldn’t be fate, would it?” Yeah. That’s such a solid exchange that I’m sad was left out of the movie and now only exists in a deleted scene. But I felt it’d be cool to bring up now because it fits the setting. Makes you wonder on Ash’s chances to change fate and defeat Mayhem. After all, if you can change fate, is it really fate?

Little comment: Would it be really okay for Cynthia to cheer for Ash? You mentioned that even Cynthia was cheering for Ash. Which, I don’t know, would probably look bad publicly for her? I mean, I think it’d be the best interest for Champions to remain entirely neutral and professional throughout the entire competition to avoid comments of potential insider favoritism. Just random thought.

I think Ash and Latias have a pretty solid reason for expecting Tobias to not change his strategy or battle plan. I mean, if you look at this from the perspective of Tobias, he probably thinks something along the lines of: “I will win, if anyone has to adapt it’s them to me, not the other way around.” And, as such, he’s going to stick to his tried and trusted plan.

Snorlax is a pretty good option to use against Darkrai. I mean, as long as Tobias’ Darkrai doesn’t know Focus Blast then Ash should be on pretty good track. Snorlax is an expert sleeper and knows Sleep Talk. He should do good. Also, slight error: You claimed Dream Eater would have no effect on Snorlax. Uh, Dream Eater is a Psychic-type move, not a ghost-type. It will have perfect, normal effects on Snorlax. It’s dark-types it doesn’t affect.

That… actually kinda sucks for Darkrai and Tobias. Imagine being stuck under a freaking sleeping Snorlax and having to wait for it to wake up before being able to do anything? Also, I hope it doesn’t take too long because then this is going to be one really boring fight to witness, lol. I mean, you just wrote “Eventually” but… how long was eventually? Even if it was just ten minutes, that was probably ten very boring minutes for the audience. What an awesome Grand final we have here, don’t we?

Holy Crap! Self-Destruct!? That’s… actually really smart. That’s a pretty smart and explosive way for Ash to defeat Tobias, to be honest. Woah. For a moment I legit thought Ash’s strategy was going to be to have Snorlax sit on top of Darkrai until everyone got bored or Darkrai stopped moving and died from asphyxiation, but that actually worked out really well in the end. And, it was a clean and awesome move, too. Well done! I liked it.

Also, I gotta notice that second part of Ash and Latias’ strategy and it’s actually really solid. Defeating Darkrai in such a stupid and ridiculous manner is certainly a great way to destabilize Tobias, and, the more destabilized and out of it he is, the more chances there are to defeat him. They need to keep him off focus for as long as possible.

So, Tobias has an Articuno. I guess this means you really are going the full six-Legendary route for him, hm? I have a few questions but I’ll ask them once you’ve revealed the entirety of Tobias’ team, since right now we only know 3 members. Also, I like how you avoided reprising the Charizard vs Articuno battle from the anime and instead went for Infernape.

That was a pretty dominant display by Tobias’ Articuno, and with that, Infernape is out of the battle. Man, you don’t like Ash’s Infernape, do you, Syrup-Waffle? You completely stole his starring role from Ash and Paul’s match and now only had him be destroyed by Tobias’ Articuno. Poor guy, he didn’t get a chance to prove Paul wrong with a strong display here. Oh well. Also, I totally agree with the bystanders. Don’t get overconfident, Ash. Mayhem won’t lose just because you got off to a good start.

HAHAHA, wow! Tobias completely owned Ash. That… was a pretty boss way to tell Ash to shut up. Yeah, I can see a rule like this existing in the tournaments to prevent overzealous or trolling trainers to chat way too much to annoy opposing trainers. Plus, there’s trainers who probably just want the battle to be chill and silent and don’t want to hear their opponent endlessly yapping. Yeah, it makes sense and I completely approve of it.

For a moment I was really worried, getting hit directly by a Sheer Cold is no joke, but thankfully, Charizard managed to stop Articuno on her tracks with that. Personally, I think Articuno could have tanked a Flamethrower and Seismic Toss (Remember, Articuno are very defensive), but you probably don’t want to overextend on your battles after what happened in your Ash vs Joey finale. So, that’s fair.

I do enjoy how Ash and Latias are starting to crawl under Tobias’ skin even after Tobias requested to the referee for Ash to not speak to him. As powerful as Mayhem is and as powerful as fate is, turns out it’s not set in stone and one can challenge it, which is what Ash is doing right now. So far, they’re even with two knockouts and Charizard didn’t take any additional damage. So, Ash is ins a pretty strong situation. Let’s see if it continues!
4/16/2020 c27 ArcyAnderson
Hello, again!

Latias, kissing someone mid-flight is pretty awesome and all, but be careful while doing it. You may want to pay attention where you’re going. I mean, you relied on your psychic senses to not get caught by Tobias and we all know how that turned out for you. So maybe don’t stress it too far by flying blindly.

Huh, they’re going Bowling? That’s pretty interesting. Neither Ash nor Latias really strike me as people that know how to play Bowling but I can buy it. I do distinctly remember that you once told me how much you loved bowling, so I can easily see why you’d write this in. Hey, if it works it works, plus it’s a nice calm scene to do before the inevitable clash that will come in the coming chapters with the battles against Tobias/Mayhem and fate itself. Now, let’s see how good they are. I honestly have no clue who’s gonna win.

Ooh, I actually like the design you went for with the bowling alley and the bowling balls. The fact they are decorated after real Poké Balls actually makes it really clever, especially as rarer designs mean heavier balls. I like that detail because it totally sounds like something that’d be done in the Pokémon world.

Hahahaha! I love how Ash got a strike on the first throw and left Latias completely flabbergasted. She was really cocky on her spare and boom! Ash completely owned her with a strike. That was nuts. Oh wait, he’s actually gone to Bowling tournaments? I guess he has to do something on his free months in between leagues that are generally skipped over in the anime. Damn, Latias, you’re in trouble now.

Wow, Ash is totally destroying her. That moment when you challenge someone at something and that someone turns out to be a highly competent person at whatever you are challenging them to. Yeah, Latias got her confidence handed back to her on a platter. Still, it’s rather cute to see Ash teaching her how to do Bowling. It’s a pretty adorable and lovely scene. Fluffy.

Yep, I knew that was coming. Latias was totally gonna pull a cheeky maneuver with her psychic powers. You know, playing any kind of game, be it tabletop, board or the like, against a psychic person, is probably really hard because they can subtly influence it to ensure their victory and there’s nothing much that you can do about it. Like, if they are careful and not obvious about it there’s chances you may not even realize it’s happening to begin with.

Unsurprisingly, Latias won because she psychically cheated her way to victory. Yep, turns out that you can’t out skill your way to a victory against a Psychic user because, well, Psychic. Oh well, Ash, at least you tried! Well played!

This was a pretty short and cute chapter, definitely a ‘calm before the storm’ type of thing since I’m sure the climax with Tobias is coming up next chapter. Oh boy, I can’t wait!
4/16/2020 c26 ArcyAnderson
Hello, again!

Alright, just reading right into the intro… man, you really have to feel bad for Ash right now. Honestly, I can’t fathom any way to place myself in his shoes right now. Like, what are you, as a person, supposed to even think when you were just told by one of the forces of the universe that your fate is to never succeed and forever live in failure? And that said force of the universe will go out of its way to make sure that happens? Like, yikes, that’s downright soul-crushing. It’s something really harrowing. Poor Ash, I feel really bad for him and I hope he can find a way to lift himself out of this deep hole Tobias flung him into with his words alone.

I guess this is where the fanfic’s title comes from, right? When Fate Comes Knocking, as in, Fate itself came Knocking on Ash’s front door, looking for blood? That’s the impression I get. Which, if that’s the case, that’s a pretty clever way to use your title and I like it. I love how the true magnitude of the title only becomes apparent to the reader on chapter 26/31.

And of course! What else would be the recovery for Ash but Latias herself? Yeah, she has her work cut out for her and she will definitely have to step in to cheer him up from those pretty soul-crushing revelations. Also, I just realized, didn’t Tobias/Mayhem comment that Ash and Latias weren’t meant to reunite after the event of movie 5? Yet here they are and now in a fully official relationship, I guess that means that technically they have already defeated fate? The fact they are together now is just a clear defiance of fate. And, thus, if they did it once, whose to say they can’t do it again? Which means even with the full power of fate, they may just be able to win.

However, I’m noticing a pattern on this: Solace and Malice went rogue on fate and prevented their fading from existence via the power of love. Now, Ash and Latias have reunited once again through the power of love, even when they weren’t fated to. So, is this why Tobias hates love so much? Because love has proven to be a consistent defeat for fate? That’d definitely explain a lot.

Latias’ love confession was extremely endearing to read, Syrup-Waffle. I have to say, it was very nicely written and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It’s adorable to see such a beautiful consummation of love that’s fully bloomed on. She’s so loving and supportive, isn’t she? She’s the magical girlfriend anyone would ever dream of. And, she is right in some way. They have defeated fate once already; they can do it again! As I stated in my earlier paragraph, the fact they are together proves Tobias wrong.

Also, see, Syrup-Waffle? Now this is the appropriate time to write fluff and confessions and lovey-dovey antics. Not in the middle of a high stakes battle like you did in the final of Joey and Ash’s league fight. It comes out a lot better, a lot more natural and a lot more enjoyable. Also, this is the benefits and wonders of kissing a psychic person. You can keep talking while you kiss. That’s always pretty handy isn’t it?

And thus, with Latias’ official declaration of true love, she has issued the universe a powerful challenge. Because, turns out, Love is also one of the greatest forces of the universe. So, this means the basic premise of this fic’s climax is going to be Fate vs Love, and which universal force turns out to be superior? That’s a pretty interesting and powerful concept that you’re building here, Syrup-Waffle. And, so far, I’ve been greatly enjoying it! Good job on this story!

Oh hey, Cynthia. Huh, pretty strange for Latias to seek Cynthia out. What’s Latias planning? I mean, even if Tobias is Shady AF and is only in the league to prevent Ash from winning, it’s not like ratting him out to Cynthia will change anything and it’s not like he has committed a crime. I heavily doubt anyone would take a “he’s an enforcer of a force of the universe!” argument seriously, even from the Champion. And, Cynthia has a point, it’s not like you can train yourself to champion-level overnight.

Oh wait, Latias is gonna borrow a Mega Stone for the grand final? Oh damn! That makes a lot of sense now! So that’s why she wanted to see Cynthia! And man, this is going to turn the tables hard on Tobias. I wonder if he’s going to be ready for it. I’m pretty sure even a Mega Evolution won’t

“I promised him we would do something fun tonight” Oooohohohoho Latias. I see what you did there.

And this concludes the chapter! Man, this fic has been quite the ride so far. I’m almost done with it, just 4 more chapters to go. Pretty eager to see how this entire thing will conclude! Onwards to the next chapter I go!
4/15/2020 c25 ArcyAnderson
Hello, again!

So, they’re right outside of Tobias’ room? Hm, I don’t know, Latias. You sound awfully confident there. Remember that you are still not the most experienced Legendary out there and Tobias is known to have a dark-type Pokémon that would be immune to all your psychic trickery. Plus, he has a Latios that is most likely more experienced and powerful than you are at Lati things. So, you better be extremely careful about this. Plus, it’s fairly obvious Tobias is something supernatural and thus may not entirely play by the rules of nature that you’re accustomed to. I’m almost 100% sure Tobias is going to catch them red-handed with this. Mark my words.

Tobias keeps a diary? Alright, I can buy that. No idea why, but if he’s a lonely and mysterious person there could be a good reason why he keeps one. Also, Latin? Latin exists in the Pokémon World? Hm, I can buy that too. Seems legit enough, as Latin is one of the root languages where modern languages stem from. So, reading on… huh, very interesting riddle-phrase you got there. I’m pretty sure that if someone puts enough thought and insight into the phrase that you wrote, there’s a pretty powerful and hidden meaning that will tie it wonderfully into the story. Sadly, I absolutely suck at riddles and prophesies and thus I won’t be that someone. But, I’m pretty sure I’ll find out eventually. I gotta note that the prophecy verse includes Malice’s name in it. Which, is interesting and is probably important.

Oh, hey Tobias. How are you? How have you been? Pretty sure this is a “This isn’t what it looks like” moment for Ash and Latias. But, oh well. See, Latias? I literally warned you in my opening paragraph. I was 100% sure Tobias was gonna catch them and yep, there’s Tobias alright. Thanks for explaining what that phrase meant, Tobias. So, according to him, fate can’t exist without solace, benevolence, mayhem and malice? Okay. I’m honestly not entirely sure what this means. Anyway, yeah, Tobias caught them just like I predicted. Let’s see how these two react to it.

Yeah, Tobias is actually right. This is a pretty serious transgression that is most likely penalized in league codes. It really just takes one phone call for Tobias to get Ash disqualified from the tournament at this point. Also, I love how polite and unimpressed he is in all this matter. It’s like he expected this to happen.

Oh, wait. Tobias actually informed Police about Lorenzo and didn’t just leave him abandoned at the cave? Yeah, I take back what I said in my earlier review. I was wrong. That was pretty nice of him, even. Also, Latias, you’re acting a bit irrationally. As shady AF as Tobias is, he technically hasn’t done anything to you or Ash personally. And, if anything, he saved Lorenzo. So, even if you are angry and wary, you are blowing this way out of proportion. Tobias has actually behaved like a gentleman so far, which is also unsurprising. I’m fairly curious what his real endgame is. Also, Latias, he’s offering to spill everything. So, really, take the offer and get all the information you can out of him.

Alright. I’m actually following this very carefully and am extremely hooked. So, let’s see. Malice and Tobias are basically guardians of fate created by Arceus to ensure that life follows the rules of fate? That’s… actually a pretty interesting and unique concept that I find myself liking a whole lot. Fate is indeed powerful and I don’t think I’ve seen it used like this in a story before. This is extremely interesting! I love it! I also have to note something: In Latias’ reading of Tobias’ dairy, she mentioned that 4 things lead to fate: solace, benevolence, mayhem and malice. Malice is apparently one of them. Which means Tobias has to be either Solace, Benevolence or Mayhem? And, this also means Tobias and Malice have 2 other brothers/sisters? Wow. I wonder who they are! Personally, I’m going to bet that Tobias is mayhem. I’m not sure, but it seems the most fitting out of the three remaining options. Also, this explains really well why Malice was so damn powerful and troublesome to deal with.

So, there’s another of the guardians! Solace! So, Malice’s wife, Julia, was actually Solace all along. Man, I really love how this plot is falling together right now. Everything’s building up like a really neat and intricate jigsaw and I’m loving it! You crafted the plotline of this story really well, and I have to give you a lot of praise for that, Syrup-Waffle. You did a fantastic job in all of this. This story’s plotline is awesome and I still hold true to the assessment I made in an earlier review, that this fanfic is 100% worth it to come back to it and give it a touch up. Anyway. That actually makes sense, how it’s all working together.

So, Solace and Malice went rogue, and I’m pretty sure this pissed Tobias majorly. Alright, so, Tobias was angry and potentially jealous about Solace and Malice’s falling in love on top of it being his job to put an end to them? That makes sense, seeing as it seems that to him love is a forbidden thing. Considering his outburst when Latias pressed on with it, yeah, he was most likely extremely jealous that Malice got to experience love when he didn’t. Also, this clears up a lot of what Malice said on the previous chapter.

Oooh, I got it right! Tobias is indeed mayhem! That means only Benevolence is unaccounted for. Curiously, what/who/where is Benevolence? Also, darn. So, Ash is fated to never, ever, win a tournament? Yikes. And Tobias is basically fate’s enforcer to make sure that happens and that everything runs according to fate? Oh damn. Ash is going to have it really rough if he wants to win the League because he’s basically going to be fighting one of the forces of the universe. RIP. Curiously, where to Latios and Darkrai fit in all of this? Are they aides who are just helping out?

Alright, so the chapter’s done! Man, this is pretty amazing! This chapter has left pretty much the entirety of the plot laid bare and man I have to see I love it! It’s pretty complex and well built in all its points and I think you did a very fantastic job with it. It was really awesome to see how the entire thing fell together as Tobias was explaining it. I’m almost done here, and can’t wait to see if Ash will defeat Fate, or if Fate will prove to be too powerful.
4/15/2020 c24 ArcyAnderson
Hello, again!

Alright, so right away this chapter’s title seems extremely promising. Because, there are a lot of underlying questions about this fanfic that have so far been very overshadowed and thrown into the sideways by Ash and Joey’s match. Especially those questions regarding Tobias and Malice. And, it seems pretty clear by this chapter’s title that it will shed some light on them so I’m very eager!

Indeed, Brock! I wholeheartedly agree! Ash has finally made the finals of a Pokémon League and with a pretty stunning fashion this time around! The way he completely reversed Joey’s game plan and turned the tables on him was pretty masterful. And, my criticism of your skips aside, Syrup, I do think you built the structure of the battle pretty soundly. The grand final of the Sinnoh League will definitely be very intriguing because no other than Tobias stands in his way.

I had forgotten Bianca’s last name in this FanFic was Vernice. I forgot, was there any special reason for that or is it just a play on Venice? Also, yay! Lorenzo is fine! Honestly, I was wondering what happened with him after Tobias and Malice’s encounter. Tobias and Malice had a pretty rough moment with each other with a bound Lorenzo right behind them. I mean, I heavily doubted Tobias would hurt him since Tobias had no interest in Lorenzo but I was wondering if he would set him free. Apparently not (man, what a dick) but at least Lorenzo safe and sound.

Hey, story time with Lorenzo. This is actually going to be pretty good. Lorenzo was witness to basically the entirety of Malice and Tobias’ conversation, so he’s actually bound to have seen and heard everything. I’m actually curious how everyone else is going to react to his revelations.

Okay, the first underlying thing that’s leaving me very curious is the fact Lorenzo is describing Tobias as “something” rather than “someone” which… is odd. It really sheds a lot of mystery on what exactly Lorenzo’s perception of the whole thing was. And, of course, just what exactly Tobias and Malice are.

Yeah, I don’t think you’ve explained exactly why Tobias is after Ash. I mean, other than that brief segment where it was maybe hinted at that Tobias’ Latios wanted Latias to be his mate, there isn’t really that much information to go by. Like, there isn’t a clear purpose for Tobias to target Ash. But, I’m sure it’ll be revealed in due time.

Huh, alright, alright. Time out, time out. So, in this flashback segment with Tobias and Malice. First of all, I have to notice that Malice almost did a story title drop on his line of “Only for my real nature to knock on my door, like fate” and… why? I’m fairly intrigued. Could it mean that Tobias and Malice have some hidden relationship to this story’s title?

Trying to break down this segment further: The fact Malice notes that “Tobias is nothing” and that he “has his revenge” could probably imply a situation of “I have nothing and therefor neither have you”? It’s a possibility. Like, now that Malice is gone there is nothing left for Tobias to be or to do. The fact Malice and Froslass disintegrated into ash upon their deaths leaves a ton of questions on what they are, though. I’m… very curious. Wow, so far this chapter gave me more questions than answers, lol.

Wait, they plan on dropping by to give Tobias a visit? Oh boy! This is gonna be good. Must go on to next chapter!
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