for Obsidian Mind4/23/2016 c11 Omegawatcher
Now that I had realized, I have never posted a review for this story. It was short, and would have been better if there had been just a tad bit more information and expansion, but never the less it was well written and brought out imagery. I'm sorry about your friend, and hopefully all your other stories come out great.
-Omega
Now that I had realized, I have never posted a review for this story. It was short, and would have been better if there had been just a tad bit more information and expansion, but never the less it was well written and brought out imagery. I'm sorry about your friend, and hopefully all your other stories come out great.
-Omega
3/29/2016 c1 Guest
Nice story. But short.
Nice story. But short.
11/22/2015 c11 AzerealofFlight
It was a very interesting story, I liked it. I also loved how Alister was added at the end, to bring the whole thing together. It does make sense in a way, especially when the comic books have Ratchet sad about that.
It was a very interesting story, I liked it. I also loved how Alister was added at the end, to bring the whole thing together. It does make sense in a way, especially when the comic books have Ratchet sad about that.
6/28/2015 c11 jinsum15
Very nice story overall. I really liked the action scenes, as they made me feel like I was actually watching them, because they were so well-detailed. I also liked the absurdly accurate information given in a few parts, such as the "198ft fall", "visibility at 32%" and a few others. It had a good balance of story, action, emotion and suspense. I am very sure that this story would appeal even to people who do not recognize the characters of the series. Although this was excellent, I felt that some of the parts were a little bit unnecessary because they took away from the main plot of the story, such as evil Ratchet forcing neutral Ratchet to kill his loved ones, one by one, as one description would be enough. Also, the fact that this story was all a dream instantly makes it cliche, but it works in this case. It was a good read; it was a little bit short, but that is still very good for a first story. I enjoyed this and would definitely keep reading stories of a similar type as soon as you release them. Nicely done. 8.9/10
Very nice story overall. I really liked the action scenes, as they made me feel like I was actually watching them, because they were so well-detailed. I also liked the absurdly accurate information given in a few parts, such as the "198ft fall", "visibility at 32%" and a few others. It had a good balance of story, action, emotion and suspense. I am very sure that this story would appeal even to people who do not recognize the characters of the series. Although this was excellent, I felt that some of the parts were a little bit unnecessary because they took away from the main plot of the story, such as evil Ratchet forcing neutral Ratchet to kill his loved ones, one by one, as one description would be enough. Also, the fact that this story was all a dream instantly makes it cliche, but it works in this case. It was a good read; it was a little bit short, but that is still very good for a first story. I enjoyed this and would definitely keep reading stories of a similar type as soon as you release them. Nicely done. 8.9/10
6/28/2015 c10 jinsum15
That was so beautiful. I am speechless. The story speaks for itself. A happy ending that makes sense (somewhat). Beautiful, just beautiful. 10/10
That was so beautiful. I am speechless. The story speaks for itself. A happy ending that makes sense (somewhat). Beautiful, just beautiful. 10/10
6/28/2015 c9 jinsum15
The truth in this story is getting more and more terrifying. I can actually feel the terror Ratchet would if I were in his place. And then, his other self starts nuking all of the beings that he knew and loved. Really cruel, but necessary to follow the plot, otherwise it would be a little bit bland. I feel that the fact that every single character being destroyed by the replica is a little bit overkill. It is kind of unnecessary, despite emphasizing the hatred, anger and other emotions the real main character would have. The part about the copy and the real main character was very engaging. IT kept me wondering as to what would happen next. His insanity is his worst enemy. It feels like this story is coming to an end. Very nice. 9.0/10
The truth in this story is getting more and more terrifying. I can actually feel the terror Ratchet would if I were in his place. And then, his other self starts nuking all of the beings that he knew and loved. Really cruel, but necessary to follow the plot, otherwise it would be a little bit bland. I feel that the fact that every single character being destroyed by the replica is a little bit overkill. It is kind of unnecessary, despite emphasizing the hatred, anger and other emotions the real main character would have. The part about the copy and the real main character was very engaging. IT kept me wondering as to what would happen next. His insanity is his worst enemy. It feels like this story is coming to an end. Very nice. 9.0/10
6/28/2015 c8 jinsum15
The feels... The hero/villain/maniac/lunatic finally shows his weak side after all the tough blows he has been dealt, physically and psychologically. I don't usually welcome overwhelming emotion in stories, but here it is necessary. And well made too, it is not just a crybaby scene but it is enough to make yourself aware that the main character is suffering, and wants to know why everything is happening, not because of curiosity, but to end the torment. This is a part in which the story gets a bit confusing, as we don't know for certain if what the main character does is happening in real life, in his dreams, both, or none at all. And now, he is fighting himself. It is a little bit cliche, but it doesn't distract. Ok. That part at the end just stunned me like no other surprise in the entire story. DAMN. Dying for real. Who would've thought? All of this was reality! Mindblown. 9.0/10
The feels... The hero/villain/maniac/lunatic finally shows his weak side after all the tough blows he has been dealt, physically and psychologically. I don't usually welcome overwhelming emotion in stories, but here it is necessary. And well made too, it is not just a crybaby scene but it is enough to make yourself aware that the main character is suffering, and wants to know why everything is happening, not because of curiosity, but to end the torment. This is a part in which the story gets a bit confusing, as we don't know for certain if what the main character does is happening in real life, in his dreams, both, or none at all. And now, he is fighting himself. It is a little bit cliche, but it doesn't distract. Ok. That part at the end just stunned me like no other surprise in the entire story. DAMN. Dying for real. Who would've thought? All of this was reality! Mindblown. 9.0/10
6/28/2015 c7 jinsum15
Emotions and then surprise. This is something the whole story does not lack, whatsoever. Oh, some Spanish. Buen toque. And there come the very detailed scenery and absurdly detailed descriptions (how do you even measure visibility in percentage, anyways? I thought that was in miles.), which have grown in on me. And then, another shocking revelation. It's these small things that keep the story flavorful. Very nicely done. 9.0/10
Emotions and then surprise. This is something the whole story does not lack, whatsoever. Oh, some Spanish. Buen toque. And there come the very detailed scenery and absurdly detailed descriptions (how do you even measure visibility in percentage, anyways? I thought that was in miles.), which have grown in on me. And then, another shocking revelation. It's these small things that keep the story flavorful. Very nicely done. 9.0/10
6/28/2015 c6 jinsum15
The fact that Ratchet becomes "evil" in this chapter really interests me. The contrast between good and evil is what makes it interesting, as Ratchet is usually portrayed as a hero, a good guy, a savior. But here, he became a rebel, someone who doesn't care for the well-being of any sentient being, organic or not. Boom, surprise at the end of the chapter, again. I love this story. This one is well done. It feels like a bridge between the reason why Ratchet is doing evil and how he usually behaves. 8.8/10
The fact that Ratchet becomes "evil" in this chapter really interests me. The contrast between good and evil is what makes it interesting, as Ratchet is usually portrayed as a hero, a good guy, a savior. But here, he became a rebel, someone who doesn't care for the well-being of any sentient being, organic or not. Boom, surprise at the end of the chapter, again. I love this story. This one is well done. It feels like a bridge between the reason why Ratchet is doing evil and how he usually behaves. 8.8/10
6/28/2015 c5 jinsum15
This is the kind of conflict I wanted to see in the story from the very beginning. And the story is written in such a way we can almost feel the pain the protagonist does. Curse word means trouble, very typical but it works well. What a show, these scenes are masterfully made. Nice detail and very engaging. This one is perfect, it needs no changes. 10/10
This is the kind of conflict I wanted to see in the story from the very beginning. And the story is written in such a way we can almost feel the pain the protagonist does. Curse word means trouble, very typical but it works well. What a show, these scenes are masterfully made. Nice detail and very engaging. This one is perfect, it needs no changes. 10/10
6/28/2015 c4 jinsum15
This chapter has action, but not as much as the previous one. All of the events that are occurring have such detailed distances and lapses. That falling distance is so precise, it is funny. It detracts from the story a little bit. Right now is where the story starts to get confusing, but another than the action, this chapter feels like filler, unfortunately. 7.8/10
This chapter has action, but not as much as the previous one. All of the events that are occurring have such detailed distances and lapses. That falling distance is so precise, it is funny. It detracts from the story a little bit. Right now is where the story starts to get confusing, but another than the action, this chapter feels like filler, unfortunately. 7.8/10
6/28/2015 c3 jinsum15
The word "stop" is given so much emphasis in this chapter, even when reading the first few lines. The language in this chapter appears to be fancier and more complex than the previous two chapters, which I enjoy. The curse words here are out of place, unfortunately, and thus, they stand out like a green dot in a sea of purple. This story took a turn for the better when *SPOILER ALERT, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED* Ratchet realizes that he is inside of a dream, and that what he is going through, isn't real life. A shocker, and a good one at that. Ratchet also thinks he is depressed. *SPOILERS END HERE, THANK YOU* Another shocker. This chapter surprise after surprise. Very interesting. The story so far does not seem straightforward, but it is far from confusing. Excellent chapter. 9.8/10
The word "stop" is given so much emphasis in this chapter, even when reading the first few lines. The language in this chapter appears to be fancier and more complex than the previous two chapters, which I enjoy. The curse words here are out of place, unfortunately, and thus, they stand out like a green dot in a sea of purple. This story took a turn for the better when *SPOILER ALERT, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED* Ratchet realizes that he is inside of a dream, and that what he is going through, isn't real life. A shocker, and a good one at that. Ratchet also thinks he is depressed. *SPOILERS END HERE, THANK YOU* Another shocker. This chapter surprise after surprise. Very interesting. The story so far does not seem straightforward, but it is far from confusing. Excellent chapter. 9.8/10
6/28/2015 c2 jinsum15
This chapter introduces the action that the story needs. "Pissed" is very nicely placed, it emphasizes the emotional confusion that the protagonist has. The comparisons (similes) that are used in this chapter compliment the events in a sufficient way. Ratchet IS a really bad liar, it really shows, hahaha. So far this chapter gives the story some life. It is both serious, humorous, thought-invoking, and adds a touch of suspense. This one was great. 9.2/10
This chapter introduces the action that the story needs. "Pissed" is very nicely placed, it emphasizes the emotional confusion that the protagonist has. The comparisons (similes) that are used in this chapter compliment the events in a sufficient way. Ratchet IS a really bad liar, it really shows, hahaha. So far this chapter gives the story some life. It is both serious, humorous, thought-invoking, and adds a touch of suspense. This one was great. 9.2/10
6/28/2015 c1 jinsum15
Nice scenery. It makes me feel like I am truly involved in the story, as if I were watching the main character (Ratchet), despite its simplistic language. The story still doesn't seem to have a defined course. It's something that kinda detracts me from the story, but very minimally so. Pretty nice so far. 8.5/10
Nice scenery. It makes me feel like I am truly involved in the story, as if I were watching the main character (Ratchet), despite its simplistic language. The story still doesn't seem to have a defined course. It's something that kinda detracts me from the story, but very minimally so. Pretty nice so far. 8.5/10
6/13/2015 c11 WatsonManSAIYAN
A really short story, I am saddened by how guilt could affect a person. It reminds me of one of my lectures in psychology, so I take it you are a psychology major? My sociology class touches upon this but only briefly. Plus you're a Destiny fan! I have a ps4, perhaps you want to run a Crota raid with me and my fireteam? We could use a good Warlock (if you are one, that is) or any other class, mate!
A really short story, I am saddened by how guilt could affect a person. It reminds me of one of my lectures in psychology, so I take it you are a psychology major? My sociology class touches upon this but only briefly. Plus you're a Destiny fan! I have a ps4, perhaps you want to run a Crota raid with me and my fireteam? We could use a good Warlock (if you are one, that is) or any other class, mate!