for A Nugget Of Advice7/29/2016 c7 Guest
I like your style of speech in this story. I can understand the need for a higher rating solely due to the characters well-deserved potty-mouths. XD But that's part of what makes it feel a bit more genuine than many. The entire approach to things taken in this story feel more comprehendable and far far less silly and ridiculous as the canon series has proven to be.
Granted, I'm not entirely sure I can believe Naruto could achieve such drastic progress in improving his overall chakra control so fast, even in this context, but I do believe that a context like this would be just about what he'd need to actually become any good at it in a general sense instead of within singular techniques, so...
Plus now he's going to be spending plenty of his free time practicing and refining it further, because Ebisu did a damn good job of building his foundation well. (I loved that line- "I did this." XD )
I like your style of speech in this story. I can understand the need for a higher rating solely due to the characters well-deserved potty-mouths. XD But that's part of what makes it feel a bit more genuine than many. The entire approach to things taken in this story feel more comprehendable and far far less silly and ridiculous as the canon series has proven to be.
Granted, I'm not entirely sure I can believe Naruto could achieve such drastic progress in improving his overall chakra control so fast, even in this context, but I do believe that a context like this would be just about what he'd need to actually become any good at it in a general sense instead of within singular techniques, so...
Plus now he's going to be spending plenty of his free time practicing and refining it further, because Ebisu did a damn good job of building his foundation well. (I loved that line- "I did this." XD )
7/29/2016 c6 Guest
This skillset for Naruto right now is a /really/ bad matchup for Gaara, and so I'm totally on board with your depiction. I was giggling at how pissed Sasuke is going to be when he does show up- I strongly suspected part of the problem was how much faster Naruto v Neji went this time and expected him to show up about the same time he did in canon, only to get pissed off upon discovering his disqualification now that that same time was too far after his match was supposed to start. XD
This skillset for Naruto right now is a /really/ bad matchup for Gaara, and so I'm totally on board with your depiction. I was giggling at how pissed Sasuke is going to be when he does show up- I strongly suspected part of the problem was how much faster Naruto v Neji went this time and expected him to show up about the same time he did in canon, only to get pissed off upon discovering his disqualification now that that same time was too far after his match was supposed to start. XD
7/29/2016 c5 Guest
*nodnod* Even if Neji could see all of Naruto and his clones underground, he relies too much on his clan's techniques and as such, there's nothing he could /do/ about them as long as they are just deep enough he can't lance his chakra at them. Well, he might be able to Kawarimi with them, but then he's putting himself in Naruto's territory as he already deduced a possible Earth Affinity and that would be stupid. Using a Kawarimi to leave an explosive underground, however, if you were confident in your relative speed versus your enemy...
*nodnod* Even if Neji could see all of Naruto and his clones underground, he relies too much on his clan's techniques and as such, there's nothing he could /do/ about them as long as they are just deep enough he can't lance his chakra at them. Well, he might be able to Kawarimi with them, but then he's putting himself in Naruto's territory as he already deduced a possible Earth Affinity and that would be stupid. Using a Kawarimi to leave an explosive underground, however, if you were confident in your relative speed versus your enemy...
7/28/2016 c1 Guest
*amusement* It's nice to see a less antagonistic-Ebisu. Putting his experienced mind to analysing Naruto as a ninja and not an annoyance has him becoming someone much more likeable. XD
*amusement* It's nice to see a less antagonistic-Ebisu. Putting his experienced mind to analysing Naruto as a ninja and not an annoyance has him becoming someone much more likeable. XD
7/26/2016 c7 
6jayley
well, i'm glad that sarutobi dying actually killed orochimaru-just seems more worth it! as for naruto, i'm not sure i've ever read a story where ebisu was actually a good sensei and helped make naruto a better ninja-i like it!
6jayleywell, i'm glad that sarutobi dying actually killed orochimaru-just seems more worth it! as for naruto, i'm not sure i've ever read a story where ebisu was actually a good sensei and helped make naruto a better ninja-i like it!
7/26/2016 c1 ilovebullets
This is by far the most interesting Naruto Fanfic in a long time, i like the portrayal of Naruto better than the happy go lucky manga Naruto. The first thing i thought as i read this chapter was dammit already the last chapter hopefully we are getting more soon
This is by far the most interesting Naruto Fanfic in a long time, i like the portrayal of Naruto better than the happy go lucky manga Naruto. The first thing i thought as i read this chapter was dammit already the last chapter hopefully we are getting more soon
7/26/2016 c6 1Capell
Brilliant chapter as always! I completely agree with the whole Jiraiya doing practically nothing in the Konoha Crush, he's an experienced S-rank shinobi with access to an incomplete Senjutsu, super awesome Toads and all he does is deal with some snake summons while Orochimaru is able to use said summons against Konoha, summons two former Hokage and fights the Sandaime all at once. I enjoyed the realism you portray in your fights, Gaara certainly is in a different league to everyone else in his Jinchuuriki form and it makes sense that everyone would struggle against him. I look forward to the next installment of this fic!
1CapellBrilliant chapter as always! I completely agree with the whole Jiraiya doing practically nothing in the Konoha Crush, he's an experienced S-rank shinobi with access to an incomplete Senjutsu, super awesome Toads and all he does is deal with some snake summons while Orochimaru is able to use said summons against Konoha, summons two former Hokage and fights the Sandaime all at once. I enjoyed the realism you portray in your fights, Gaara certainly is in a different league to everyone else in his Jinchuuriki form and it makes sense that everyone would struggle against him. I look forward to the next installment of this fic!
7/26/2016 c6 aascdvfvifrbpgrfbr
That was an interesting take on the exams. I've gotten so used to Naruto sulking after Kakashi shoos him off that this was a refreshing take on the build up, on Ebisu and the fights too. Thanks for the read.
That was an interesting take on the exams. I've gotten so used to Naruto sulking after Kakashi shoos him off that this was a refreshing take on the build up, on Ebisu and the fights too. Thanks for the read.
7/25/2016 c7 Mystolon
A very entertaining chapter all said My thoughts are
While it has been obvious for a few chapters that with you scaling back Naruto's strength that he wouldn't be the 1 to defeat Gaara I was disappointed just because this chapter confirmed it. Speaking of I'm wondering about the fall out from that, In the canon it was Narutos unlikely victory over Gaara that made Gaara believe in what Naruto's beliefs and spurred his Character change I'm wondering what will happen to Gaara in the future without it
I liked the Humour present in the Sasuke and Jiraiya POV segments and I'm Hoping we will see more Humour In the characterization of Naruto in the future (For the last few chapters he been somewhat serious) more knuckle headed denseness
I was thrilled to see in this Chapter Naruto using his creativity taking something he was told/learnt and experimenting with it and using it in battle 1 of the big criticisms of the canon was Naruto didn't do that enough (or he only did with KB tactics/strategy and perverted jutsu) Of course it doesn't hurt that he's basically recreating Earth release Earth spear 1 of the best jutsu in the series although I was put off that you cut out the physical effects of the jutsu i.e. The persons body darkening
I also enjoyed the Jiraiya getting down to business following Jiraiya was a worthy substitute for the Naruto/Gaara fight while I enjoyed the majority of the fight it was well written my
I would also however point out while you have made Naruto more skilled at this moment in time he's weaker overall than Naruto was in canon at the invasion without the boost of the Kyuubi chakra and Toad summoning So you need to fix that in the future chapters
A very entertaining chapter all said My thoughts are
While it has been obvious for a few chapters that with you scaling back Naruto's strength that he wouldn't be the 1 to defeat Gaara I was disappointed just because this chapter confirmed it. Speaking of I'm wondering about the fall out from that, In the canon it was Narutos unlikely victory over Gaara that made Gaara believe in what Naruto's beliefs and spurred his Character change I'm wondering what will happen to Gaara in the future without it
I liked the Humour present in the Sasuke and Jiraiya POV segments and I'm Hoping we will see more Humour In the characterization of Naruto in the future (For the last few chapters he been somewhat serious) more knuckle headed denseness
I was thrilled to see in this Chapter Naruto using his creativity taking something he was told/learnt and experimenting with it and using it in battle 1 of the big criticisms of the canon was Naruto didn't do that enough (or he only did with KB tactics/strategy and perverted jutsu) Of course it doesn't hurt that he's basically recreating Earth release Earth spear 1 of the best jutsu in the series although I was put off that you cut out the physical effects of the jutsu i.e. The persons body darkening
I also enjoyed the Jiraiya getting down to business following Jiraiya was a worthy substitute for the Naruto/Gaara fight while I enjoyed the majority of the fight it was well written my
I would also however point out while you have made Naruto more skilled at this moment in time he's weaker overall than Naruto was in canon at the invasion without the boost of the Kyuubi chakra and Toad summoning So you need to fix that in the future chapters
7/25/2016 c3 12slythefoxx2
I don't see the point in mentioning Kushina's and Minato's affinities and then not giving Naruto either, doesn't feel like that interesting of a character choice. Same with justifying Kakashi's failures. He was the sensei, so he shouldn't need Naruto to ask him for help in the right way, he's job is to teach. Also artificial limits to his training just for the sake of doing it, not real story justification is weak storytelling. It's like you've decided Naruto won't have a huge power jump but you didn't have a real reason for it other than you didn't want it. If he's hampered by his lack of progression then the reader knows it was because of this weird detail you added and not flowing from logical storytelling.
12slythefoxx2I don't see the point in mentioning Kushina's and Minato's affinities and then not giving Naruto either, doesn't feel like that interesting of a character choice. Same with justifying Kakashi's failures. He was the sensei, so he shouldn't need Naruto to ask him for help in the right way, he's job is to teach. Also artificial limits to his training just for the sake of doing it, not real story justification is weak storytelling. It's like you've decided Naruto won't have a huge power jump but you didn't have a real reason for it other than you didn't want it. If he's hampered by his lack of progression then the reader knows it was because of this weird detail you added and not flowing from logical storytelling.
7/25/2016 c6 2jumping-jo
well love his matches ebisu must be so proud...also sasuke missing out could be explained cause neji and his match didn't last as long as the orignal match did so kakashi timing on getting him there would fail
2jumping-jowell love his matches ebisu must be so proud...also sasuke missing out could be explained cause neji and his match didn't last as long as the orignal match did so kakashi timing on getting him there would fail
7/25/2016 c7 Seta88
It was quite a good one, have only 2 problems really.
Why did Jiraiya slam his fuinjutsu into Gaara's forehead, the love symbol on his forehead isn't Gaara's seal.
The second one is the timetable of first 30minutes and then one hour for the fight of Hiruzen against Orochimaru, before Jiraiya arrived to help Hiruzen, it doesn't make sense. Oh the first would be alright if you didn't state a few lines after it that he was already fighting for an hour. If the fight lasted really so long, Konoha would be left liveless, or would have won already.
It was quite a good one, have only 2 problems really.
Why did Jiraiya slam his fuinjutsu into Gaara's forehead, the love symbol on his forehead isn't Gaara's seal.
The second one is the timetable of first 30minutes and then one hour for the fight of Hiruzen against Orochimaru, before Jiraiya arrived to help Hiruzen, it doesn't make sense. Oh the first would be alright if you didn't state a few lines after it that he was already fighting for an hour. If the fight lasted really so long, Konoha would be left liveless, or would have won already.