for Tris' Life After Initiation7/7/2017 c10 Guest
It's a lot of "Tris says," etc. you lose flow and makes your story sound detached.
It's a lot of "Tris says," etc. you lose flow and makes your story sound detached.
10/25/2016 c9 xRandomPerson
The story has a lot of potential. Too bad more than half of it is A/Ns instead of actual story :P I hope you keep writing, because what I've read so far is really good.
The story has a lot of potential. Too bad more than half of it is A/Ns instead of actual story :P I hope you keep writing, because what I've read so far is really good.
12/17/2015 c9 Guest
Great, hope you keep writing
Great, hope you keep writing
10/1/2015 c9 
6thebooktrooper
Yay! An update! And your welcome for replying, I'm sorry I couldn't have helped out more. I am glad you are situated into your new house! I just recently moved too, and know how much work it is to move. Great chapter by the way. Especially sinc eyou are still getting back into the wroting mood :)
6thebooktrooperYay! An update! And your welcome for replying, I'm sorry I couldn't have helped out more. I am glad you are situated into your new house! I just recently moved too, and know how much work it is to move. Great chapter by the way. Especially sinc eyou are still getting back into the wroting mood :)
9/6/2015 c7 Guest
Okay, I just discovered your account and I really enjoy reading your writing. It's well thought out and pays strong attention to detail, which I absolutely love. It would be so awesome if you would continue this story, you have so many ways you could go with it and set up an interesting plot. Just out of curiosity, have you ever read the fanfic series "A Different Divergent" by moonshine356? I noticed a few parallels between your story and hers, not that you copied or anything, in fact your story is quite original. It could be a coincidence, just wondering :) so please consider continuing this story, I'll be rooting for you either way :D
Okay, I just discovered your account and I really enjoy reading your writing. It's well thought out and pays strong attention to detail, which I absolutely love. It would be so awesome if you would continue this story, you have so many ways you could go with it and set up an interesting plot. Just out of curiosity, have you ever read the fanfic series "A Different Divergent" by moonshine356? I noticed a few parallels between your story and hers, not that you copied or anything, in fact your story is quite original. It could be a coincidence, just wondering :) so please consider continuing this story, I'll be rooting for you either way :D
9/4/2015 c6 thebooktrooper
i really like this book! I do want Marcus to cause trouble *eventually* But I like how you are taking a unique route, and not the cliche one that all the other fanfics take. How about at the end of chapter threee you do truth and dare, then never have I ever. If you want any more details/feedback/help feel free to PM me!
i really like this book! I do want Marcus to cause trouble *eventually* But I like how you are taking a unique route, and not the cliche one that all the other fanfics take. How about at the end of chapter threee you do truth and dare, then never have I ever. If you want any more details/feedback/help feel free to PM me!
7/28/2015 c6 Guest
Please continue you are an amazing writer. I would be thrilled to read more from you. I love your stories and I hope you continue. My pen name is yasminallysoneaton please PM me and tell me when you have another chapter up
Please continue you are an amazing writer. I would be thrilled to read more from you. I love your stories and I hope you continue. My pen name is yasminallysoneaton please PM me and tell me when you have another chapter up
5/20/2015 c2 leek812
My son is on the spectrum and I am encouraged by your passion and talent. Keep up the good work.
My son is on the spectrum and I am encouraged by your passion and talent. Keep up the good work.
5/15/2015 c5 Guest
Candor or dauntless
Candor or dauntless
4/16/2015 c2 pookieortega
Don't worry, I will definitely help you on spelling although I am not the best speller either, but my spell check is pretty good. Thanks for the shout out, and don't worry about the ass wipes on here. You will have people who are appreciative of your writing.
Don't worry, I will definitely help you on spelling although I am not the best speller either, but my spell check is pretty good. Thanks for the shout out, and don't worry about the ass wipes on here. You will have people who are appreciative of your writing.
4/13/2015 c1 Guest
Dude, that spelling is atrocious. And shouldn't you start and then ask for suggestions?
Dude, that spelling is atrocious. And shouldn't you start and then ask for suggestions?