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2/7/2018 c16 Archleone
Well, this story became an instant cluster fuck. Can't say that I'm surprised, but I am disappointed.

Oh well. It's abandoned anyway, so I imagine you couldn't figure out how to sail this shit- I mean, ship- either.
2/7/2018 c15 Mana's Cinder
This story is rapidly making less and less sense to me. It mostly falls apart whenever you try adding more Nasuverse elements to the story, because they really don't mesh together especially well with RWBY stuff. That, or maybe you're just not super good at gracefully marrying them together. I'm not sure. Whatever the case may be, every time you bring up something related to the Nasuverse, it feels like you're forcing it into the story while ignoring a lot of the rules of either universe to do so. It feels... lazy, I guess?

Take this Burial Agency guy. Regardless of what he says in the next chapter, there's no changing the fact that Zelretch really should be the only person capable of dimension hopping. It's his whole shtick. It's also a facet of his True Magic, so it's not like it's someone anyone else can just pick up and figure out how to do it. Maybe there's some extended universe stuff where that's different, but this is (as far as I can tell) some messy amalgamation of Fate/Stay Night's various routes, but none of them had "other people can dimension hop" as a factor. I don't think even Rin learns that sort of thing any time soon, and she's a genius and Zelretch's eventual apprentice. Well, one of them anyway. The presence of what seems to be an OC Burial Agent that seems capable of ignoring that little rule is an unpleasant element in the story.

The presence of Servants (particularly already summoned ones) is already leaving a really bitter taste in my mouth. They can only really be summoned via the Heaven's Feel Ritual made by Zelretch, some Tohsaka ancestor, some Einzbern ancestor (and/or Justeaze?), and Zouken. Zelretch is yet again a core component here, and I think if there was a Grail War happening on Remnant people would certainly have noticed by now and it wouldn't be much of a secret.

That would leave someone either inventing their own ritual (really doesn't seem likely) or this is all the result of someone (Zelretch or otherwise, despite my issue with the idea of anyone but Zelretch dimension hopping) transplanting all of this to the world of Remnant for... Some random reason? All conveniently around the same time as Shirou ending up in Jaune's body, which also doesn't seem particularly likely to happen.

All of this stuff where I say it doesn't feel likely individually strain my suspension of disbelief which is necessary to really enjoy a fiction story. All of them together really takes me out of the story completely.

I suppose there's the alternative that Remnant is an alternate Nasu-Earth, where bad shit happened a really long time ago... but then why would it not get all Nasuverse-y until conveniently around the time of Shirou's arrival? As in, why not hundreds or thousands of years ago? And with such little real estate habitable by humans, I feel that such events would be noticed quickly, yet Ozpin seems entirely ignorant to it, and he seems quite connected.

I mean, you could also come entirely out of left field and say that the Magi pulled a Harry Potter and there's entire cities (or more) that exist free of Grimm, but they're hidden away by magic. But that's... well, it's a ridiculous idea.

Besides that, I really don't enjoy how you keep changing things in the story without going back and editing them into older chapters to keep the story/lore consistent, but this review/complaint is already going on more than long enough.
12/21/2017 c2 Kurama
Ciao ho letto questa tua fic...e volevo solo informarti che quella di herakles vs gilgamesh...non era una tredicesima vita ma la sua abilita "continuazione di battaglia" che gli ha permesso di continuare a combattere amche con ferite mortali prima di svanore ed essere assorbito dal graal.
12/15/2017 c29 sonic
I liked the chapter!
12/16/2017 c18 AmethystPone
Just so you know, anything beyond A is generally considered EX...As in unmeasurable by the ranking system...
Like with Ishtar-Rin who has EX in Mana...And has that one attack that according to the animation in the game, send a burning planet/astroid/moon and then drop it on yo face...
12/16/2017 c16 AmethystPone
Uhm...The ranking is for human at peak Potential (peak Potential, meaning what we could have been if it wasn't for the restriction of time or mundane physic)...Not the average adult...And human at peak potential times 10 for E rank is honestly quite an increase in capabilities...
Or more or less what most military general dream of about super soldiers that can wipe out swath of soldiers on their own...
I think...
12/16/2017 c14 AmethystPone
Not Quite as off the chart as you would think...
Fate does have its HAXs...
And any Magus with even remote competence in combat are super human with matrix-bullet dodging...
And we have seen Magus out right tanking automatic bullets or swatting them away.
Then there is the Unlimited Prana Work Jewel sword...
12/16/2017 c13 AmethystPone
"People die when they are killed."- Emiya Shirou.
Nuff said.

Bonus:
"Archer class is really made up of Archers."- Tohsaka Rin.
And the Tradition continues!
12/16/2017 c12 AmethystPone
You...have no basis to judge Scythe combat...So don't go there...
Wide (relatively) Sweeping movement being wasteful? Dude, there is a longsword style centered around that, then there is also the fact that Greatsword fighting style require those sort of movements...On the other hand you could also just use the damn thing like a short and strange spear...
There are plenty of weapon fighting styles just as there are plenty of unarmed fighting styles...

Even the sword style in Witcher (game) series could become practical if one was to fix a few flaws born from not having true combat-trained person making it...

As for Weiss's fighting style...I'm on the fence with this...One would have to ask the creator of her character and fighting style...And he isn't exactly alive to be asked...
12/16/2017 c10 AmethystPone
I'm beginning to feel like you are going to write yourself into a corner with this fascinating but rather strange AU...
12/15/2017 c8 AmethystPone
I find complaining about Jaune and his "averageness" is inherent hypocrisy...
12/15/2017 c7 AmethystPone
The Myrtenaster scene seems really weird...
12/15/2017 c6 AmethystPone
I'll be honest. So far, we haven't seen anyone come close to the power of Servants (And Servants are only a tiny fraction of a Full Heroic Spirit)...So comparing them to Servants is a bit much...It might be feasible if that Servant has all stats at E and D...
12/15/2017 c4 AmethystPone
Great Sword is something that is a cross between polearm and Longsword...
Its length is about as long as a person wielding it was tall...At times even longer...
Its weight is around 2–3.2 kilograms (4.4–7.1 lb).

It is not a long sword with a little broader blade like the one in this...
12/15/2017 c2 AmethystPone
Hmmm...Based on how this story seem to stalled and cease updateing since 2016, I guess you either lost the motivation to continue and this became a dead story since, or youare stuck because canon's mechanic messed something up and you are unsure of the direction...

One thing I will say though -since it is mentioned in AN- Gilgamesh will NOT mesh well with Salem and her crew...Hell, they are more likely to be at each other throat...
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